Update on adult stepson moving back in

Thanks for the update Mamma66, lovely when writers take the trouble to update us.

Our thoughts exactly ?

Thank you everyone ?

I think I probably didn’t explain it properly. What I meant to say is that my stepson’s mortgage payment would be comfortably affordable as it would be half what he has been paying in his share of the rent. I am quite proud of him really. Now we know what has been going on (he’s quite a private person) we have realised why he has been working all the overtime he can for months. He has been saving as much as he can for the deposit. We thought he was just saving up for a nice holiday for the boys (which he is) but he just carried on after he had the holiday money for his deposit.

My issue is with the word "comfortably"

Mamma66 It is lovely to hear you and your husband set up a united front and are pleased with the result. I hope it works out for you all.

If your marriage breaks down, you can only afford to move into a rented flat and your expenses increase accordingly because you are running two homes, so what you are suggesting is not realistic at all Hithere is it?
Moving in with your parents for an agreed period of time to enable you to set up in your own flat is the most pragmatic and mature solution, saying he needs to ‘adult up’ is derogatory.
Glad you sorted it Mamma66.

Hithere, with all the best intentions many people have not been able to live like that for many decades now, let alone after a divorce/child maintenance etc

The rule of thumb is for an adult is to have at least 6 months worth of monthly expenses in his/her savings account.

If that is not possible, downsize and reduce your expenses to make it happen with the income

I seriously side eye your son's financial judgment and situation he is in.

No, he cannot comfortably afford a 1 bedroom flat + deposit if he has stay with you to achieve this goal

He could adult up and move - different roommates

You are enabling him

I’m very pleased to hear you came to a solution you are all comfortable with!

Thanks for the update - all’s well that ends well..

Sounds a really good adult, all round solution, well done you and your husband for stepping up and doing the talking and to your son for understanding and agreeing Fingers crossed it all goes to plan
And thanks for coming back, so often stories of woe leave anyone interested enough to reply, hanging

Hope it all works out well for all of you.

It was very kind of you to tell us. All looking very positive and I hope everything goes well.

Sounds fair enough to me…

An excellent solution Mamma glad to hear you and your husband worked together to help your stepson.

It does sound positive and I think the fact he is being responsible with respect to his sons and 'moving on' shows maybe he is at a turning point in his life?

Thank you so much for this progress report. I have been thinking about this a fair bit since you originally posted. Your plans sound well thought out and positive and the fact that you are all in accord is the best news of all. I wish your stepson and family a very happy future.

That all sounds really positive Mamma I hope it goes according to plan. You were wise not to let him know you're flexible with regard to the 12 week period and that he'll have to put his belongings into storage.

Better that he doesn't get too comfortable perhaps