Grandchild behaviour

MerylStreep

Grandmabatty
My granddaughter did a very good impersonation of the Cracon when she came out of school. I made sandwiches to take with me and get them into her ? as soon as possible.
Complete change.

I agree, they need some after school food in them, just a biscuit would do till you get home and give them a snack.

I have perfected "The Look" which says very clearly that a line has been crossed.

Chewbacca and Freedom have some great answers. Without knowing what the child is doing, it's hard to know what to advise.

For my crew, I find they're at their worst when they're tired or have low blood sugar. It just makes everything so much harder for them to manage.

Getting some protein into them seems to be key at those moments. Hard boiled eggs are good, as are nuts, raisins, dried apricots, trail mix are all high protein snacks you could have on hand (allergies permitting, of course).

My kids love peanut butter. Giving them some baby carrots and/or apple slices with pb to dip it in works magic as far as blood sugar goes.

I've also done yogurt with some hemp hearts sprinkled in, or smoothies with either hemp hearts or chia seeds tossed in.

I've also been known to look at one of kids and say, "Wow, that was rude. I'm going to go now, and when you're ready speak nicely, come find me and we'll talk."

Kids have big feelings, and are still working out how to express them and manage them. My kids take a breather, and then we talk about what's REALLY got them wound up.

Chewbacca is spot on!

All kids go through periods of being rude. It is the nature of children to do so.

With my children, I simply look them in the eye and say very calmly "you are not allowed to speak to me like that" and move on. No guilt trips, no punishment's, unless the behavior escalates.

If my children choose to continue to engage in their behavior, I ask them to take a break from me (essentially a time out). Once they have calmed down they return and I make no mention of the incident again. It is good for them to know that it is OK to make mistakes, I will still love them and wont harp on it further.

Children need to be taught how to treat you. Once they figure out that you will not accept it, they will mostly stop.

For me it has worked. My teens and I are able to have polite conversations, even if they, or I, have made bad decisions or we disagree.

I learned this from my favorite aunt when I was a child. When I was at her house, I knew I was expected to behave a certain way. She had a house full of antiques and glass everywhere and would always tell me that she has never put a single breakable away and has never had anything broken. Not that we didn't try to touch things, but when we did she set the boundary. It didn't take long for us to figure it out.

Interestingly enough, she also told me how she got her kids to eat vegetables. She would serve 2 vegetables at dinner each night. One the kids would like and one they wouldn't. She gave them the choice. She said eventually they would get curios and try the other vegetable. Now they eat vegetables.

We once were staying with her for a week while my mom traveled and we decided to make a cake. Well, as kids do, while using the hand mixer we pulled it out and ended up with cake batter all over everything. We just KNEW we would be in trouble. She remained calm, never showed impatience and handed us rags and a mop.

Kids need boundaries and routine, but they also want to be treated respectfully and with autonomy. 40 years later and her calm dealings with our choices still resonate.

Kids (and people) will remember how you make them feel, eventually internalize it and pay it forward in the future. Or so I hope.

What Chewbacca said.
?

Not enough information.

Have you spoken to the parents? It’s really for them to sort out.

At 5 years old they've spent 20% of their short lives in a totally unnatural bubble, separated from family members, friends and their usual routine. They were then sent into a new school where they had to learn new rules, new names, new teachers and make new friends, all of whom come from different backgrounds and all of whom had been in lockdown and so had lost some social skills. They've probably been practising for their school nativity play that, in all likelihood, never took place but they'll have been super excited about it nevertheless. Now add the excitement of Christmas. Can you really blame any 5 year old for being a bit rude by the end of term? Cut them some slack; if the last 2 years have been difficult for adults, just try and imagine what it must have been like for a 5 year old.

Sometimes with 5 year olds it's done to see how you react. Calm and quiet is usually best, but firm so "that's really not acceptable" or "That's not the sort of behaviour I expect", then ignore but praise good behaviour.

How gc is rude....

Could you please explain how is rude?

Grandmabatty
My granddaughter did a very good impersonation of the Cracon when she came out of school. I made sandwiches to take with me and get them into her ? as soon as possible.
Complete change.

Perhaps they have ‘end of term it is’ exhausted, over excited by all the Christmas ‘stuff’ at school. This too shall pass!

Tiredness and hunger can exacerbate naughtiness. Try to distract. A 5 year old is still very young and perhaps reacting against you, if you only give child care occasionally. I'm not saying accept naughtiness but saying "kind words only in this house" on a firm but gentle way and disengage from them. Perhaps they need a quiet time if you are picking them up from school. There's nothing wrong with half an hour watching the tv. Ask their parents how they deal with cheeky behaviour and try to use the same methods. Good luck.

At that age, they witness different behaviours at school and try to push the boundaries at home.

This is the age to set which behaviours are acceptable.