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Grandson has used my card for games….?‍♀️

(187 Posts)
Shinamae Thu 30-Dec-21 23:16:18

I gave my nine-year-old grandson a reconditioned iPad for Christmas I also put some games on it for him and did it with my card had a huge discussion about it and the fact that he had better not do anything with my card because I would know and he would be in such trouble. Anyway today I had a text from my bank about unusual activity on my card went to have a look, oh my God I couldn’t believe it, two lots of £34.90,no make that three and several others including one for £89 something. ?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️ I rang the bank and it’s not actually fraudulent but they are going to try and get me my money back they did explain that sometimes these kids get into these games and don’t know they’re racking up a big amount of money till the end of the game. I am annoyed with my grandson but I’m bloody furious with myself,anyway I’ve got to ring the disputes people at my bank tomorrow. I have not seen Oscar yet and when I do I will not rip into him but I will explain how disappointed I am and that I will never buy him anything for his iPad again..

Shelflife Sun 02-Jan-22 09:53:30

Shinamae, don't best yourself up about this ! Mistakes were made that you are fully aware of, please sort it and forget it. When you speak to your GS please reassure him that the initial mistake was yours not his. If he was unaware that he was playing with real money then perhaps the least said soonest mended ! Don't worry anymore. ?

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 22:53:28

It would be hard not to, really.

Bibbity Fri 31-Dec-21 22:48:45

I'm not. It's unfortunate that you have interpreted it that way.

Calistemon Fri 31-Dec-21 22:43:30

Hope you get a positive outcome, * Shinamae* and the bank can get your money back too.

Just as well they alerted you!

Shinamae Fri 31-Dec-21 22:40:16

Calistemon

I think you could have a chat with him Shinamae, simply to make him aware of what happened as he may well not have realised your card was stored and he was paying for games.

He's only 9 - he needs to learn but without being made to feel guilty.

That’s definitely what I’m going to do,I’m not gonna make him feel guilty at all and thank you for your positive feedback ?

Shinamae Fri 31-Dec-21 22:38:22

Bibbity

I'm not angry at all. Just shocked about the completely unnecessary inconvenience! Please take the time to educate yourself better on technology as it's so vital. Especially if you are going to be handing it to a child.

And could you please take the time not to be so patronising and condescending

trisher Fri 31-Dec-21 22:24:52

GagaJo

trisher

I just wonder is anyone going to monitor and oversee this child's use of the iPad? Do you imagine that having given him something like this he should just be permitted to use it unsupervised. Beside installing parental controls someone needs to monitor his use. If not he may at somepoint have the ability to overcome any controls, he could recieve or send unsuitable messages, he could access porn. Watch him, safeguard him, supervise him. Even when he's a teenager.

My GS (much younger) has a tablet. Not my idea but...

He's currently on a detox. Not allowed it at all. The first day it was banned, he cried. Addictive.

The effects of using these things on young brains is still being discovered. There's evidence that they disturb sleep patterns. If parents choose to buy them you can only offer advice and restrict their use when the GCs are with you. I taught an 8 year old who boasted quite often that he could do things with the internet in his house his parents knew nothing about. When I told them they were shocked. He spent heaps of time in his bedroom doing goodness knows what. He was very clever. I often wonder what he was doing in his teens. Probably hacking into something.
Blue light is interesting and dangerous for kids www.webmd.com/eye-health/blue-light-health

Elizabeth27 Fri 31-Dec-21 22:00:50

A friend of mine set up a DD for her grandson's game, £4 per month, he only played for a couple of months but 4 years on she is still paying the DD.

It was some problem with not knowing his user account number that stopped her cancelling the DD, her bank could not help as it had to be cancelled by the company. She gave up trying after a while.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 20:52:46

Very much so.

GagaJo Fri 31-Dec-21 20:51:05

trisher

I just wonder is anyone going to monitor and oversee this child's use of the iPad? Do you imagine that having given him something like this he should just be permitted to use it unsupervised. Beside installing parental controls someone needs to monitor his use. If not he may at somepoint have the ability to overcome any controls, he could recieve or send unsuitable messages, he could access porn. Watch him, safeguard him, supervise him. Even when he's a teenager.

My GS (much younger) has a tablet. Not my idea but...

He's currently on a detox. Not allowed it at all. The first day it was banned, he cried. Addictive.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 18:39:23

Yes, I know all of that, thanks.

trisher Fri 31-Dec-21 18:37:41

MissAdventure

I can just imagine sitting in my boys boxroom with him.
The odour of teen angst permeating the air, and him and his friends making stupid noises... jolly japes!

You don't need to sit with anyone. You do need to check the history and if it has been wiped ask why?. You do need to check messages sometimes and put a stop to anything abusive. You also need to talk about the law on photos and dickpicks, too many kids don't realise and finish up in trouble

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 16:20:25

I can just imagine sitting in my boys boxroom with him.
The odour of teen angst permeating the air, and him and his friends making stupid noises... jolly japes!

trisher Fri 31-Dec-21 16:16:51

I just wonder is anyone going to monitor and oversee this child's use of the iPad? Do you imagine that having given him something like this he should just be permitted to use it unsupervised. Beside installing parental controls someone needs to monitor his use. If not he may at somepoint have the ability to overcome any controls, he could recieve or send unsuitable messages, he could access porn. Watch him, safeguard him, supervise him. Even when he's a teenager.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 15:34:46

Indeed.
I suspect that's why events often happen.

M0nica Fri 31-Dec-21 15:29:18

It is easy to be wise after the event.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 15:23:31

My grandson helped me with an Amazon order and I said "Oh lovely, how did you get free delivery?"

He said it was quite easy, considering I had Amazon prime.

Maggiemaybe Fri 31-Dec-21 15:20:32

MissAdventure

I've done that too.
Opted in and out without knowing what the heck was going on.

Oh me too! They’ve got me this time though. After four or five free trials, I’ve finally discovered that I actually like Prime TV and Music, and I haven’t cancelled. I might have had my fill after another month though.

Pythagoras Fri 31-Dec-21 15:17:50

Of course the OP is annoyed with her grandson, that is a big amount of money. And of course she is also annoyed with herself. I'd be annoyed with the apps and games too.

The OP's grandson needs to have it explained to him what happened without showing the annoyance. For starters, I'd be explaining to him how it was brought to your attention and how easy it is to end up buying stuff even if unintended. There are lessons to be learned here by all parties. No reason to protect the 9 year old from what he can learn from all this.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 15:11:02

I've done that too.
Opted in and out without knowing what the heck was going on.

rafichagran Fri 31-Dec-21 15:10:24

MissAdventure

I see the usual crew are in, being "stunned" about perfectly normal stuff.

Totally agree, yes a mistake was made, but some of the replies are frankly rude and patronising.

Calistemon Fri 31-Dec-21 15:07:22

Nannan2

I remember when my youngest son was about 12, he had charged up some in- game charges, (£87) that he had thought they were giving him free as 'prizes'- in end bank refunded as a 'one-off' but it just goes to show, even slightly older kids can be duped by this- he genuinely thought these 'pop-ups' they were presenting him with were for free, as they made it look like he had 'won' them.And on some things, as someone already pointed out, you can't remove details till you stop using that completely.

My DGS did the same when he was about 12.

It's like joining Amazon Prime - easy to opt in without realising!

Calistemon Fri 31-Dec-21 15:04:39

I think you could have a chat with him Shinamae, simply to make him aware of what happened as he may well not have realised your card was stored and he was paying for games.

He's only 9 - he needs to learn but without being made to feel guilty.

MissAdventure Fri 31-Dec-21 15:03:10

I see the usual crew are in, being "stunned" about perfectly normal stuff.

rafichagran Fri 31-Dec-21 15:01:44

Tikingbird meant to say I agree with you.