Grandson has used my card for games….?‍♀️

The issue was resolved the day after the thread was posted.

Oh dear! Are you sure your grandson did not know he was racking up bills?
Kids are very savvy these days, yes even 9 year olds!!
You should have put parental controls on and even asked his parents to use their cards instead of yours, I'm sure they're probably a lot more tech savvy than you are!
Everyone is saying not to blame the child, but surely he's partly responsible after Shinamae spoke to him prior to the debts occurring, and he would have then known not to click to get things until he knew if they were costing real money!!
I think he 'MAY' have thought, 'Meh! Granny won't find out until much later'!
Of course, I could be wrong, but please do not assume the child is totally innocent in this one, especially as they use computers all the time - paper is the thing to be doodled on these days, remember!!

you can keep this simple. yes, you should be able to get your money back. (this happened to me when my son was 6 - the little squirt took a picture of my credit card. ) So, here is what I did and my son is now 21 and very very honest. I simply asked him if he did that. I asked him why he did it. I listened. Then I gave a good lesson about trust. I essentially told him families need to trust each other and how would it be if he couldnt trust his gran. What if he found out I took some money out of his own pocket without him knowing, and he found out it was me? How would he feel? Like he couldn't trust his gran, right? What a life not being able to trust your own family. It worked very well. Also, if I found he had picked up something off the street, so we returned it to where it was. You have great opportunities to teach him some valuable lessons. And you are right. They don'thave to involve ripping him a new one. All children do things like this. How we address it is important. Teaching honor is very important. Good luck

You'd think tickingbird

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I would add now that of course not all admonishers have had the benefit of a very good education…(they just know it all!!) ?

I posted this awhile ago as the lady I answered had asked how I felt about being “told off” on the forum…(don’t actually remember what that “of course not”is for but anyway I still feel the same now so I’m going to post it again..?

Exactly that.

I dont think the subject under discussion matters. It could be anything, as its just a smoke screen for having a pop at Grans.

VioletSky

Why is worrying about children's safety on the internet so terrible?

It wasn't children's safety on the internet, it was the safety of Granny's credit card which is the subject of the thread, although theoretically one could lead to the other.

I think I did suggest using parental controls on the iPad

Just laugh at them Shinamae! They always have their knickers in a twist!

You are welcome shina glad it is all sorted with your Grandson.

Bibbity

Again how you interpret text is not of my concern or care. The message is there. The uneducated comments were wrong. The cancelling of the card was unnecessary and adults who are ignorant regarding technology should not be handing any over to young children. It is dangerous and the defensive comments regarding my posts rather than the self reflection speaks volumes.

To be so loud and so wrong is quiet impressive.

Ohh……..if only i had your wisdom….??… you should really feel sorry for me,not castigate me at every opportunity..?

JaneJudge

Shinamae is lovely as well

Awww thank you Jane and for all the others who have supported me,means a lot…????

Shinamae is lovely as well

Yes, it's all gone a bit too far.
Further than it usually does because usually people who little to say on any other subject pounce on an opportunity to be rude.
However, perhaps people have decided not to accept that kind of behaviour anymore.

I rather like the "failed as an adult" comment..
So helpful

Closely followed by Believe me I pity your children and I am so so sorry your lives are so incomplete

Aren't we lucky to have such a clever and well informed tool in our box?

annodomini

In her OP, Shinamae said "I am annoyed with my grandson but I’m bloody furious with myself,"
Then Bibbiti immediately chipped in with: 'Why are you annoyed at your grandson when you failed as the adult?' evidently having failed to comprehend that Shinamae was not by any means guilty as accused.
All the aggro in this thread could have been avoided if certain posters had bothered to read and understand that the OP was fully aware of her mistake and resolved to set her grandson on the right track.

* Bibbity

My comment said not to be annoyed at grandson too?

I think this has all gone a bit too far and behaving in ways people say is wrong in others makes no sense

In her OP, Shinamae said "I am annoyed with my grandson but I’m bloody furious with myself,"
Then Bibbiti immediately chipped in with: 'Why are you annoyed at your grandson when you failed as the adult?' evidently having failed to comprehend that Shinamae was not by any means guilty as accused.
All the aggro in this thread could have been avoided if certain posters had bothered to read and understand that the OP was fully aware of her mistake and resolved to set her grandson on the right track.

I rather like the "failed as an adult" comment..
So helpful.

I don't see the OP asking for advice in her post. People often share an 'Oops!' moment to bond with others who may have done something similar so will empathise, and maybe in the hope of some support, so they don't feel too bad about what they have said is a mistake (which we all make).

I've always thought that unsolicited advice is more for the benefit of the giver than the receiver. Whether that's always true or not, I do know it's very rarely welcome.

Well hopefully they would point out my mistake rather than telling me I was careless, unsafe, uneducated, a problem, and other personal remarks.

I’ve never believed that was productive as a learning tool.

I'm sure you wouldn't rather be addressed the way some people on here have.
Quite simply, there is no need for it.

We can't learn from mistakes unless we know what the possible consequences are or learn the hard way... I'd rather someone told me than learn the hard way honestly