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Sleeping alone

(133 Posts)
Jennyluck Tue 18-Jan-22 20:44:47

I’ve just discovered the joy of sleeping alone.
Dh has dementia, and has started going to the toilet during the night, a lot. Which unfortunately wakes me up, there’s also snoring, coughing, sniffing. I find once I’m awake, I can’t get back to sleep.
I can’t have my own bedroom because we have a full house, with 2 ac and a grand child.
So I had a brain wave of buying a sofa bed. I bought a really good one.
Oh the joy of a peaceful nights sleep.
Anyone else gone down this road. ??

PipandFinn Wed 19-Jan-22 14:02:09

A few months ago I slept in our spare bed because of my OH àsnoring. He got quite upset about it so he slept in spare bed next night, and then the night after that etc to 'show me how hurt he was'. Unfortunately it backfired spectacularly because I LOVE being alone in my king-size bed... much better sleeps now and I can spread out to my hearts content....grin

SunnySusie Wed 19-Jan-22 13:51:46

We have had separate bedrooms for years now and I absolutely love it. DH wasnt keen and at first I was always the one to move out in the night if he woke me up and I couldnt get back to sleep. He talks and shouts in his sleep. DD however insisted on separate bedrooms from the word go with her partner due to her raging insomnia and I think once DH saw that young people found it acceptable he was OK with it.

Yiayia70 Wed 19-Jan-22 13:45:48

I started sleeping separately from my husband about 5 years ago. I’m a light sleeper so slept badly from his snoring etc. best thing ever I sleep so much better.

Babsbada Wed 19-Jan-22 13:44:37

We've slept in different rooms for the past twenty years. It's saved our marriage and given up both our own space and a good night's sleep. It's wonderful and great luxury of you have the room to do it. Highly recommend separate bathrooms too.

Mummer Wed 19-Jan-22 13:38:46

Yep! Have done since my first hip replacement in 2012! Bliss...... I have king bed and ensuite shower wetroom DH has another king bedroom and big bathroom/ wetroom . I snore like a drain anyways and spread about so we're both happy! my DH sleeps in an awkward position too and as we've grown over the years and comfort rather than romantic consideration is priority!! We sleep together on holiday but usually super king bed/singles anyway so no issues

62dg Wed 19-Jan-22 13:34:10

Oh I am so pleased to read all these replies! I have a health condition and my partner had a stoke so we’ve been in separate beds for over 5years now. I love it! We both now appreciate time to ourselves and can do as we want when woken up, ie reading or listening to podcasts. I am a lark and he is an owl so from that respect it’s been much better I think. My husband was resistant at first and I do miss the intimacy, but we manage on that front!!! I think it has improved a lot in our lives. Thank you

JulesSquirrel Wed 19-Jan-22 13:24:23

I lived alone for 19 years before getting married 10 years ago. Even with a superking size bed, I hated sleeping together. Just to be clear, cuddles and sex all good, just the actual sleeping together didn’t suit me. My husband was originally reluctant but now, after four years with separate bedrooms he loves it too. We’re lucky because we each have a double bedroom with an en-suite (we renovated to do this). It really suits both of us, there’s no guilt about getting up to go to the loo, reading or watching tv. We wouldn’t have it any other way and if we downsize at some point, we will ensure 2 bed, each with en-suite. As long as you talk about it, hopefully both parties will be happy with the arrangement.

DeeDe Wed 19-Jan-22 13:17:06

Yes my husband has sleep apnea.. now have my own room with en-suite and it’s heavenly
Woohoo

GrannyTracey Wed 19-Jan-22 13:10:35

Some of us don’t have a choice. My husband upped & left me for a much younger woman after 28 years of marriage . But oh I do love the bed all to myself & sleep just like Marmight does changing side weekly & laying in the middle for the hell of it when I want ?

Candy6 Wed 19-Jan-22 13:06:20

I dip in and out of sleeping alone. I suffer from anxiety and I sometimes struggle during the night. The spare room is my “safe space” where I can ground, have the light on if I need to, have the curtains and window open. I must say though, even when my anxiety eases, I prefer it on my own - just me and the dog and I can do exactly what I want. I do feel guilty though and feel it does affect our marriage a bit. Otherwise, we have a good relationship and have been married for over 30 years.

Tish Wed 19-Jan-22 12:52:27

Some of us don’t have an option.

cookiemonster66 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:48:05

I love having my own bedroom again, my domain, my escape place. Hubby kicked me out of our room due to me snoring, I fidget, up and down to toilet several times per night, poor chap has to get up for work at 6am, so I completely understand. I do not work registered disabled, stay at home all day every day. Now he goes to bed and can read his model train mags = train porn, and I go to bed and can read my kindle and not worry about disturbing him. Great in summer too, no longer have to lie next to his sweaty body, and can have the fan on when I like!

BlueSky Wed 19-Jan-22 12:38:55

Bijouflowersx

nipsmum Wed 19-Jan-22 12:34:34

Yes for the past 30 odd years . My husband chose to leave to sleep with someone else and when I moved house I bought a single bed. I couldn't sleep with anyone now.

Caztown15 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:34:04

Yes, once the last ‘child’ left home we redecorated the room and then I can’t actually remember why hubby moved in there, but he does snore and I’m an insomniac so it has stayed that way. Suits us both, and we’re as close as ever.

darbycall Wed 19-Jan-22 12:33:25

I needed this. as someone who has been single for years and longed for partner, so wanted to feel someone's arms around me, this certainly showed me the other side of what it might be like. As they say, be careful for what you wish for!

Atqui Wed 19-Jan-22 12:30:27

I would prefer to sleep alone but as Purplepixie said husband seems to take it badly. We both snore , but I’m the one who gets woken up and then cannot go back to sleep.I would also love to be able to read my kindle or look at I pad , if I had a room on my own.

Applegran Wed 19-Jan-22 12:22:03

We got a huge bed - maybe super-king sized? It is indeed super! Anyway, we share it but have single duvets. I get hot at night and Mr Apple doesn't, so we can each have the cover we want - and it avoids a big double duvet sliding off one person when the other one moves it in their sleep.

Wren5 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:17:46

I sleep on my own, have done for several years now, initially because of my back pain but now I prefer it smile My husband makes strange noises in his sleep, has suffered years with sleep apnoea, I am light
sleeper & I fidget so much, it used to drive him nuts so separate bedrooms, separate beds, it works for me wink

4timesagran Wed 19-Jan-22 12:12:05

My husband went to his own bed when he was being treated for prostate cancer and had a catheter fitted. I found it a great relief not to listen to his thunderous snores! However we usually watch a programme on tv whilst in the double bed before he goes back to his own bed. We like the togetherness.

Fernhillnana Wed 19-Jan-22 12:10:06

Sleep alone and have done for 30 years. Love having my own boudoir and as I have dreadful insomnia it saves my husband from broken nights. Oh I do sleep with Rufus the dog though!

Bijou Wed 19-Jan-22 12:06:49

I have slept alone (apart from my cat) for thirty four years since my husband died. I still miss him.
My husband was deaf so I could listen to the radio without disturbing him.
We did once trying different rooms but once my back became stiff and I had to crawl painfully to reach him and wake him.
Another time he was on call to take my pregnant dil to hospital for the birth and once again had difficulty to wake him. So after that we slept together.

4allweknow Wed 19-Jan-22 11:56:16

Still together in a v. big bed. I am not a good sleeper. For those of the same ilk and who want to read until sleepy, I use a Kindle. No need to switch light on, can cuddle in with Kindle almost hidden by covers, and fir me it really helps me get back to sleep. Be careful where you place the book in case you let it fall of the edge of the bed. Done this several times without damage but the thump on the floor wakens me up.

Susieq62 Wed 19-Jan-22 11:52:34

We sleep n separate rooms due to my snoring and his tossing and turning! I like to read in bed and he watches stuff on his iPad !! So it is a win win for us! We sleep in the same bed when we go away or stay at DD but it is always a king size ! Works for us plus we always have a cuppa together in the morning!

Nannina Wed 19-Jan-22 11:48:32

I live and sleep alone-bliss grin