Sleeping alone

Having got used to sleeping alone in a db since my husband died I don't think I could share a bed again. I am a restless sleeper, always trying to find a cold spot in the bed. I go to bed late and read my kindle, sleep about 5 hours then awake until time to get up and feed the animals. Although I am in my 87th year I still get too hot in bed at night and only have a lightweight cover and sheet on the bed.

GrammarGrandma

I would be very sad if we ever had to have separate beds/rooms. We share an ordinary double quite amicably and it's nice to be cuddled.

I’d have said exactly the same in the days when I used to sleep like a top!
It’s very different now, and there’s no way I can share an ordinary double with dh any more, though in the (now distant) past we quite happily shared a small (4 foot) double at my mother’s house.
Not long ago I had to make a last minute booking for one night in a hotel. I couldn’t find anywhere with KS beds, so booked a twin room, which worked fine.

I would love to have a separate bedroom but even the mention of it seems to hurt DH’s feelings. We only met back in 2005 and I had spent over 10 years without anyone else in my bed. Now, I think I prefer to sleep on my own. He snores very loudly and I am a light sleeper. We have a king size bed yet he seems to always lie in the middle of it!!! Annoying. Sometimes I go downstairs and read for an hour or two and dont seem to get much sleep at all. My little naps on an afternoon are much needed. I know I would miss him dearly if he wasn’t here but right now I want my own bed/bedroom.

I had to laugh at your post Marmite, that is exactly what I do, sometimes my " office" on the other side of the bed is so crowded that when I turn over in the middle of the night the whole lot slides onto the floor.
We have our own bedrooms, it is bliss, I can read until 2am if I want to, no snoring to keep me awake, he goes to bed early, I go to bed very late, he gets up at 8.30, I get up at 9.45! I could never share a bed with anyone ever again.

I’ve been sleeping on my own for6 years, since my husband died. We had a king size bed so I sleep on week one side and the next week on the other so I only change it fortnightly! So an environmental benefit too!

We have slept separately for years, by choice, now out of medical necessity.

My husband died 15 years ago weeks before our 35th wedding anniversary. I love having the bed and the room to myself . I sleep quite well but on the occasions that I am awake during the night I can read on my Kindle or watch tv without disturbing anyone. Win win .

We’ve had our own bedrooms for years. We both sleep much better that way.

We've had separate rooms for many years now, starting from when my youngest son was little (he's now 35). I was up and down to him a lot as he was a poor sleeper. I miss the cuddles sometimes, but it's bliss to be able to read in bed as long as I want. We both snore and he is up and down to the loo a lot, so this suits both of us. We do share a double bed on holiday, but it's a relief to get back to our own beds.

We seem to be unusual in sharing a bed - king size now. I guess we’re lucky not to have the health problems which cause people to sleep separately. As for snoring- I have good earplugs for use when necessary. It’s good to have someone to reach out to in the night when bad things seem worse.

My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for 17 years. He has a ground floor bedroom I sleep upstairs. He has chronic back problems and apparently I snore. Suits us both. If we go on holiday and have to share a bed in a hotel then we find it a bit peculiar.

When my husband was alive I couldn’t have imagined sleeping alone although he snored. Now I sleep alone as my husband passed away 7 years ago . So grateful we didn’t have separate bedrooms when he was alive.

I moved into the spare room quite shortly after our wedding because of my husband’s RLS and PLM, which at least didn’t wake HIM up throughout his working life. (It does now unfortunately, without sleeping pills.). So sleeping separately has been the norm for us for most of our marriage. He didn’t like it to start with but gradually got used to it, not least as sex and affection have continued and we have a good day-to-day relationship.

We have a separate ' snoring room' for the times it becomes difficult to sleep in the same place. Better to be properly rested, I think.

Me too and still sleep - tho not well anywhere -on the same side!

Hubby obviously has sleep apnoea, but will do nothing about it so I was forced to plump for the spare room in order to have some sleep. Yes, I too miss the company but having the room to move around, to be able to read as long as I want to, and to not hear anymore loud snorting which would make anyone jump out of their skin, is a delight. Never again will I share my bed with anyone. In America, I read that most houses for sale have separate bedrooms for couples with their own en-suites.

my lovely husband and I used to share a double bed, and on the odd occasions when there had been arguments or whatever that were not resolved , getting into bed meant that you could just put a hand out and no words needed and let us return to our joint happiness. Then we both had serious illness and I had cancer treatment etc and it was very difficult to get a decent nights sleep for whatever reason. So my husband used to go and sleep in the spare bedroom, which solved the physical things but I really missed him being beside me. So we ended up where we got into the double bed, for at least a few minutes cuddling or talking and then he would go off to the other bed. We were a very tactile couple and I would have missed the contact so much. He died 5 years ago and I still miss his touch very much. In the early days I sometimes would tell myself that he was sleeping in the other room. Sounds a bit crazy but it sometimes worked and allowed me to sleep eventually. The other more practical thing is the hardness or softness of the bed. If you have different choices the two bed thing lets you both get the best sleep you can have. When you see these house programmes they are always going on about bathrooms and kitchens etc and a far better selling point to me would be two reasonable size bedrooms with preferably en suite shower type bathrooms. Bliss, no problems about needing the loo at the same time, how you leave the toothpaste or whatever. Yes if I had won the lottery in those days it would have been a house with super bedrooms, very well insulated and the best kind of toilets and bathrooms without stupid awkward ridges and bends that make it difficult to clean them. Well finally , I stayed at my home until the middle of last year and had to move due to health reasons and now live in a small ground floor flat. But I did buy one big item, when I moved. A brand new 3/4 or small double bed, which takes up less room in the bedroom but gives me a lot more space than a single bed to sprawl. I was able to choose exactly what I liked , not having to consider anyone else and it is still a great pleasure to have it. When I am unwell or worrying about the fuel costs, I can snuggle up in bed, with my good lights to read by and spread things around as I choose . I quite enjoy reading the Yorkshire Post in bed, because there are some pages or articles that I save, on the bedside table but just chuck pages read , that I am not saving ,on the floor . It isnt causing any hassle for anyone else and I quite like making a bit of a mess. Once I get up all that paper goes into the recycling . Ta Da!!

I do. We decided years ago to try it as I am a light sleeper and hubby snores. We love it, both get quality sleep now x

I’m really sorry. That must have been so hard for you. X

I often wish we had separate bedrooms as I go to bed really late and like to read. OH goes to bed early so I'm fumbling around in the dark getting undressed and trying not to wake him. It's great when he goes away for a few days now and again as I have the light on and can sit up to read, hang up clothes and not have to creep around in the dark.

Yes I initiated separate beds in separate rooms about 8 years ago and absolutely love it. He has only recently admitted he sleeps better too. He would not though, openly admit it to friends and is slightly embarrassed almost about it. He’s a snoring lark and I’m a light sleeping owl so it was inevitable really. I notice lots of posters here give a reason of ‘for health’ as if it’s not enough to just admit they prefer it. Good sleep is so important. DIL was shocked when she found out but she has strong opinions on lots of things about us which I’ve learned to ignore.

It happened sort of gradually for us. My husband snores like a express train. Honestly it’s soo loud that you can hear it from the sitting room below!
He was offered an operation and a CPap machine for sleep apnea but isn’t willing to do either.
I suffer with bad migraine and so I began slipping into the spare bed at night once he started snoring or woke me up with the noise. Gradually I just started going to bed in the spare room.
I definitely sleep better as I was barely sleeping at all before that. His snoring is a touchy subject though and he occasionally makes slightly catty comments about me being in the other room. I’d honestly defy anyone to sleep though that level of sound though.

When my husband was alive if one thought they would disturb the other with restlessness/snoring etc then that one would move into the spare bed. We bought single adjustable beds which bolt together and found they were a good compromise too.

when I was young (er?) I would have hated sleeping separately,

then I got toilet trips in the night, so started sleeping in the spare room, then dh died couple of years back, and I immediately moved back into the large bed, Queen or King size.. don`t know.. I was surprised that I could not longer , well didn`t want to, sleep in the smaller, (4foot) bed,, mind you cat, who has the run of the house, sleeps alongside me sometimes.. so I am o.k. with sleeping alone now..
on the other hand, being alone, a completely different concept.