Not living with your partner

18 years, and no intention of moving in together. We spend most weekends together, at one house or the other, and holidays. I will tolerate all his bike parts and radio equipment all over his kitchen, but no way are they coming here
May spend more time together when he has retired later this year

Lacrepescule, we speak or text all the time throughout the day. We video link every evening for a catch up too. Covid made no difference to our commitment. We just picked up where we left off.
It takes 2hrs 40mins to travel one way. We do spend a lot of time together at his or mine but I’m never sorry to come home. I’m too old & arthritic now to want to look after a chap full time! It works for us & that’s the lovely thing about it.

It is the case in England and Wales Floradora. I can’t speak for Scottish law as I didn’t practise in Scotland.

One of my great friends live in NE USA, and her OH in North Africa. Suits them 100%. They spend a few weeks together every year.

Glad you’re so happy Nonogran. How long does the journey take? Do you talk/message every day?

8 years together.
149 miles apart.
Sometimes he is at my place, sometimes I’m at his.
We go away together a lot but we both like our own space.
Not sure what the future holds and age diminishes our desire to drive long distance. Right now we live for the day.
Works for us.

Germanshepherdsmum

I hope people know that marriage revokes any will made beforehand unless the will expressly states that it is made in contemplation of marriage to X.

Beware of this advice marriage in Scotland does not revoke a will made beforehand .

I too am very sorry for your loss Dibbydod. The relationship between you and your partner sounds very similar to that of my dear late father and his partner.

They were together for just under 30 years, seeing one another at weekends when Dad (who lived in a sheltered flat) stayed at his partner's place. Like you and your partner they enjoyed both their time together and their time apart, having their own respective many interests and friends. Over these 30 years they also travelled the world together, and spoke on the phone pretty much every day to chat about what they had been up to.

They never had any desire to get married or move in together. Both valued their independance and each of them wanted to protect their children's inheritance.

They loved one another very much and when Dad died very suddenly a couple of years ago his partner was devasted - as were we all.

My brother and I took great care to involve Dad's partner in every step of his funeral and we remain close friends with her. To all intents and purposes, we regarded her as Dad's wife.

They and you Dibbydod are testament to a 'together apart' relationship working really well.

Dibbydod, I’m very sorry for your loss and it sounds like you had a lovely relationship. Did he never stay at your house and was there a reason for that? I live a 10 min walk from my partner and tend to stay at his because of the dogs but do love waking up in my own bed!

My late partner and I were together for over 22 years but we both didn’t want to live together , I’d spend 3/ 4 nights a week at his place . We were lucky because we only lived couple miles from one another . It worked for us because we both enjoyed our time together also our time apart , doing our own things , then we would both look forward to seeing one another , it also gave us something to talk about so conversation never went stale . We had a touring caravan and would spend a week or two away here and there together , but , was always glad when got home so could chill out in my own place in my own home . We were both happy with how things were and we loved one another . Miss what we had since he passed away .

Very interesting to hear how it works for all of you. Especially those of you in LTRs who are happy to live apart. I do love my own home and find it hard to imagine sharing. Do love him though!

I don’t live with my partner of 9 yrs! It varies how often we see each other and if we stay together it’s at his place as it’s bigger than mine. I enjoy living on my own. I have him, my family and friends. I’m quite busy but sometimes just do nothing! I enjoy my freedom and just please myself these days. It’s my time now.

I hope people know that marriage revokes any will made beforehand unless the will expressly states that it is made in contemplation of marriage to X.

Lucca that sounds very much like my dad and his wife.
It works really well for them

My dad and his wife have separate houses!
They see each other every other day. They live about 15 minutes drive away from each other, but my dad sometimes walks there

We lived apart for the first two years of our relationship. Fifty miles and both working full time saw to that. We saw each other most weekends.
Twelve years ago I moved in with him, sold my flat, paid off his mortgage and we had his property put into our joint names.
We have two daughters each and have made wills that mean eventually the property will be split 4 ways once we are both no longer here.
Our own private money is split slightly differently but again is in our own individual wills.
We got married three years ago which makes things a lot easier when it comes to money matters.
This works for us, our daughters know of our plans and all is good in our world.

We spent nine years shuttling up and down the country at weekends until roads, trains and age made living together a more desirable alternative. Just in time for lockdown and 24/7 in each other’s company??

If he’d lived in the same town we would have always kept our own places. Now I’ve got a living room full of his treasured furniture. But the kitchen is just how I like it?

25 years and never lived together! Couldn’t bear to live with someone now.
See each other maybe three times a week and have holidays together and separately.
We are more of a mutual support and friendship thing now to be honest.

Thank you Dickens! Do you have an equal share in your house? I assume you do and this will be shared equally amongst your joint children.

... sounds ideal to me!

I do now live with my partner but we lived apart for the first 3 years - we've been together for 31 years.

I think you should see each other as often as you both want - there's no rules.

Regarding your daughter's inheritance. My advice would be to consult a solicitor and make a Will. Get your legal affairs in order if you are going to live together.

My partner and I both have children from previous marriages. We sorted our legal matters right from the beginning and have both made Wills, leaving our estate shared equally among them. You will need to decide immediately if he moves in with you, or you with him. Look at "Joint Property Ownership-GOV.UK" to see what your options are, and what suits.

Happy for you to have found someone later in life!