How old are you?

Almost 63.
Have (almost) lived an extra decade longer than my mother.

My fears are Dementia (father snd maternal grandmother both suffered)

My constant worry (3am usually)
is when I pass on, how will my family manage?
Close family members with severe health issues depend on me.

Franbern, My fear is NOT of dying, but of being dependent (particularly for personal care), on someone else.

That too is my fear, I nursed both parents with dementia and I will never forget the day, when I had to change all my mother's clothes, when I came in to find her soaked in urine. As I washed her down, she said, Have I come to this? Just let me go now. ?
This was a woman, who as a ward sister had done the same for others. It broke my heart.
I have no wish to be a burden on my family. I already rely on them for many things.

61 in a few weeks time. I don't worry about ageing and death for me, but the thought of losing Mr. S. plays on my mind more. He's 8 years older and with our DS in Aus. and being estranged from his brother and only GC, I do worry about what will happen to which ever one of us is left.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be 73. On a personal level I am fit, healthy, very happy and truly enjoying life.
On another level I am extremely depressed when I see the way this world is going with war and people on low incomes being pushed into poverty plus our country being led by such a disgusting excuse of a man.
Ageing doesn’t bother me, as far as appearances go that is. I will be upset if ageing restricts my life due to physical deterioration.
Surprisingly death doesn’t worry me and I intend to end my life when the time comes rather than have others attend to my personal needs. I’m quite philosophical about it.

74 but still clinging on. I do worry a bit about getting old and dependent as seems to be the norm but I’m generally healthy if a hypochondriac. I have begun getting rid of “clutter” though. I don’t want anyone else going through my things when I’m gone.

Franbern
I think it was Bob Monkhouse who said live each day as if it were your last.
^

Esspee, having I met you, I would never have guessed your age! You look so young!!

73, and touch wood in good health.
Of course I think about it now and then, but try not to dwell on it.
What bothers me a lot more than the thought of dying (apart from the fact of maybe leaving dh alone) is the thought of ending up like my mother, who died at 97, having had dementia for maybe 15 years, and was in a most pitiful state for at least her last 4 or 5.

Truly a fate worse than death - IMO anyway.

echt

I see this is the Ask a Gran forum! I'm not a gran.

You don't have to be a gran to be on Gransnet.

You are all so young! I'm 84 and mostly ok apart from a chronic back problem. I still go out and about, still drive etc.
I do worry about things of course, mainly about having a stroke/heart attack here alone and unable to call for help. But I shrug these thoughts aside and try to look upon every day as a bonus. I do get black days, but they pass.
64 seems very young to me. You can either spend the next 20 years worrying, or just relax and try to enjoy them.

I'm 72. Apart from a lot of struggles with severe anxiety and a bit of trauma, as far as I know, I'm OK. I eat reasonably well, I'm not overweight, try to walk each day if possible. We went away last weekend as walked about six miles each day.
I never in a million years thought I'd get to this age. I've followed my mum in many things and she died at 58 so I suppose I'm doing well.

You are so right Henetha. I’m a born worrier though so should work on that. I’m definitely not depressed aggie and feel RoseeLee has got it spot on; I’m facing up to my mortality. Lovely post from Franbern, so positive.

I do sometimes wish I was religious (brought up in a strict Catholic household) and could come back to my faith. There are so many people on this earth who believe in an afterlife; are they all deluded?

I agree LaCrepescule. It must be wonderful to have faith.
I lost mine a long time ago. I'm agnostic now, and wish I wasn't.
Most of the things we worry about never happen, so just try to find something to be happy about each day. And plan things which you enjoy, whatever they are. - A holiday? New clothes?
Have things to look forward to. Good luck.

I'm 57. We all at some point in our life are confronted with our own mortality and the fact that we may lose those we love. That happened to me in my early 40s when my dearest friend died suddenly in her 30s leaving two very small children. We were all heartbroken.

Every day I have lived since then I feel is a gift that she didn't have and I try to live it well for both of us. I appreciate all I have, make the most of every moment and love with all my heart the wonderful people I am lucky enough to have around me now. There are ups and down and sometimes it's not so easy - but I try to focus on the gift of the moment.

If I die today I will have had the great good fortune to have had all those bonus days. It has stopped me worrying about my own mortality.

LaCrepescule

You are so right Henetha. I’m a born worrier though so should work on that. I’m definitely not depressed aggie and feel RoseeLee has got it spot on; I’m facing up to my mortality. Lovely post from Franbern, so positive.

I do sometimes wish I was religious (brought up in a strict Catholic household) and could come back to my faith. There are so many people on this earth who believe in an afterlife; are they all deluded?

I believe in an afterlife and it comforts me. But does it matter if you do or don’t? Does it matter if they are deluded? The only way to find out is to die!

I’m a very healthy 74 but finding nursing my terminally I’ll DH a bit hard at the moment. He is very serene about being dead, but finds getting there difficult.

I have the same problem - I don’t want to be demented, I don’t want pain, I don’t want to be dependent p, but unfortunately suicide is not fair on my two surviving children. So I shall have to bear my journey towards death with fortitude

Thank you, LaCrespuscule… and also Franbern for the positive post. I too wish I was religious (rest of family are/were) - love your question about the afterlife!

Thanks for starting such an interesting post, and sharing your fears. You are not alone… x

I am 76, 77 next week, but only 24 in my head!

Have realised time is running down, but no point in dwelling on it. Just concentrate on the here and now and try to get the most out of every day. Am very lucky to have a good family nearby.

I try to plan plenty to look forward to, and do lots of activities I enjoy, and have made new friends at these activities. I have a cruise booked for August, and have just booked another for July next year to Iceland. No use the money sitting in the bank , I can't take it with me and the kids will have the house. As a favourite radio presenter of mine says "You don't see a hearse with a roof rack!"

Health is fairly good, and still doing all the jobs around the house and garden.

What will be will be.

GrandMattie ?

I’m glad you are not depressed
, I’m 20 years older than you and hope for a while yet , I never thought I’d see my Grandsons grow up , but they are now nearly out of there teens and still a joy , I’m looking forward ( with trepidation ) on going on holiday with my youngest DD and her girls plus the dog !

Bluebelle and Franbern ??

Echt I echo what’s been said you don’t have to be a grandparent to be here. Allsorts I am sorry you don’t see your daughter I know of a few here who don’t see their children. I know if it was me I would be heartbroken but make the best of life.

I am 66 this year but mentally I feel still young but just a little forgetful! I have long term blood pressure kidney disease but the most troublesome is osteoarthritis it’s everywhere. It slows me down and once a strong woman I lack stamina.

My husband is six years older than me a type 2 diabetic but we both just plod along. We have a lovely family and three little grandchildren who are everything to us. I don’t think of death I have looked after our older family members dying of cancer. It was on each occasion totally heart breaking. If my husband becomes ill I intend if I can to look after him myself. I have seen enough suffering I just hope when our time comes it’s quick.

I was 63 last weekend. Having survived Covid, being on a ventilator for 2 weeks, suffering a stroke (all last July) and being in hospital (bedridden) for 6 weeks, I'm afraid of being in hospital not dying

Marydoll

*Esspee*, having I met you, I would never have guessed your age! You look so young!!

Thank you so much Marydoll. I must say you looked far younger than I expected (you are guilty of giving me a ‘bum steer’ when describing yourself) and may I say you looked a picture of health. I was expecting an elderly and infirm Marydoll.
Frankly everyone at the Glesga meet looked young and vibrant.

I am 79 in September and DH is 79 in May. DH never thinks about dying and won’t discuss it although he has said that our current 4 year old car will be our last. I do think about death and have made sure everything that our sons would need to know when the inevitable happens is written down along with copies of our wills and that they know where it is all located. I have also begun to declutter the house and loft, the garage is a different story as it is full of things that DH thinks might come in useful. Our two youngest grandchildren are 12 (a boy) and 13 (a girl) and I often wonder how much of their adult life we might see. I am very much a realist and my DH’s head is more in the clouds and I think it shows in our attitudes to death.

Espee, thank you to you too! That's the problem, no-one believes I am so unwell! To look at me, you would thing I was a fraud. I think the fact that I am thrawn like my mother helps to keep me going! ?
?
I too, thought all the Glasgow grans looked great. We need to be thinking of organising another meet up! I really enjoyed the last one.