Am I right to be upset?

Hi Frufru ,

I bet that you looked super at the wedding and she's jealous !
How cruel of your MIL .
What a nasty and thoroughly vindictive comment .
She's managed to make you feel unhappy and insecure .
You can laugh it off and pretend that it doesn't hurt ,throw something about which she's sensitive back ,tell her to her face that she's insulting or distance yourself from her .

Why do MILs do this ?
One of my friends hasn't spoken to her MIL for months ,because she criticised her weight .
She is overweight ,but has escalating health problems and is a fantastic cook . Actually her cooking is Mediterranean in style and healthy .
They live in the same house !

Imagine !

Why don't you just have it out with her and tell her how much she has upset you with her nasty comments over the years and your not going to take anymore.. What have you got to lose...She sounds like a bully and obviously knows she is getting to you...I would totally dis her....I'm sure your hubby will stand by your decision...He probably knows what's shes like...

How rude! Tell her that you are actually pregnant with twins and will be relying on her for babysitting.

Really not nice comment I would feel upset too.

I wish women would stop commenting on other women's looks, good or bad.
You don't see men doing it to the same extent.
Your mil sounds like a very shallow person who judges other women purely on their looks.

Thank you everyone! Yes, I’ve been married to her son for 36 years, we have 3 beautiful, successful children and one very gorgeous grandson. My husband was not in the room and YES she has been like this for all those years! You’d think I’d get used to it….but unfortunately every time she gets to me. I have a hidden disability, but she actually said I was lazy for using my blue badge! I’m going to keep my distance…..feel rubbish enough at the moment without her comments!

I think some old women vo like this as a type of predementia . Its like they lose the filter that stops them being rude . Maybe you could point that out to her ! She probably is jealous as well and wants to extert a last ditch kind of self importance over you.

I am sure those who are horribly cruel/rude comes from their own insecurities. Schadenfreude minds.

My daughter was criticized after her wedding for wearing the "wrong" wedding dress.

She wore a beautiful meringue-style strapless dress - her dream. Her ma-in-law told her her arms were too beefy and she should have worn an empire line!

Mean old bat, rude and completely unnecessary comment. Does she have form for this sort of thing?

I always think you say to someone who tells you are "too sensitive" answer well that must make you thoroughly insensitive, poor you !!

The next time you see her try saying, Does making rude remakes come naturally to you?

Or do you have to work at it?

I think sensitive people are usually the nicest to know.

I would avoid her as much as possible.

She is a truly nasty human being.

My mother used to make personal remarks like that. I took her up on it many times and she did not learn. She thought it was her "right" as a parent. That was the reason I eventually went no contact.

You could have said "at least I can lose weight if I so wish, you are stuck with your rude and arrogant personality"

Your figure sounds perfect to me. No matter that you have a tummy. I bet your husband cannot see it.
Her spiteful comment suggests she’s jealous of you. Dismiss it and her as unimportant. Who cares what she thinks?
What a cracking comment AGAA4. I wish I’d thought of that!

My MIl was just like this, she once told me I should get my very light blonde moustache removed, I retorted if I had one like yours I would wear a paper bag on my head. She was not amused but still continued on. She also told me that after my lovely father died young I was the only one upset at the funeral. I pointed out they had to open the doors to the chapel extension to accommodate everyone.
I think Pepper 59 is right many people mistake politeness for weakness. I had to change my attitude very quickly.

I think I would have been inclined to say ' I may look pregnant, but at least I could lose some weight, unfortunately you will be stuck with that face'. Possibly add that you can be rude and cutting too. I cannot stand people like this woman and Ive met more than a few due to a skin condition I have. Give it right back and they soon get the message. Many people mistake politeness for weakness, big mistake.

This is so much someone I know (can’t say who!)

I'd be happy to be a size 16 - I'm bigger than that. I'm glad my MIL isn't around these days - she used to tell me I was fat at a size 14 and 9st!

I agree it's best to give it back. My MiL was always dropping nasty comments and I took it for a while.
I was always skinny when young and she said that I didn't have a lovely hour glass figure like her.
I replied that the problem with hour glass figures is the sand always goes to the bottom in time.
She did end up with a huge backside.

mumofmadboys

Alternatively say well we have had sex a lot lately perhaps I am pregnant!!

Best answer!!

mumofmadboys

Alternatively say well we have had sex a lot lately perhaps I am pregnant!!

??. Love it.

My response would have been, well, you have some nerve commenting on my figure as I’m sure she will have some insecurities about hers.

How rude is she ? did your husband comment on what she had to say ?
My late MIL had a habit of making such remarks when my DD was born she asked how such a plain Jane could produce such a beautiful baby !! she was never well thought of after that remark.

When people make a comment I say ‘what a nasty thing to say’ then look directly at them. People like this (my mil is frequent culprit) do not like being pulled up on their nastiness, and usually stutter ‘well I only meant’, you’re too sensitive’, I just retort, that is never polite under any circumstance, if Don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.

What a nasty piece of work. Trying to diminish a special day for you.

I’d say something after the fact, and say if she has something nasty like that to say to keep mouth (fat trap) shut.

Rude, nasty cow.
Is she usually like that?