Marriage

Thanks everyone, I'm really grateful for your comments.

Is there anything that can be worked on between you both? A third party to help ? X

If you asking the question I think you must be someway down the line to leaving but do make sure you know how you are going to manage and what you are entitled to. 43 years is a long time and it might make a slight difference depending on circumstances how old you are, 63 might be a different thing to 73 or 83.

You must suffer but you need to plan ahead, if you are seriously thinking of leaving. See a solicitor with a copy of all the financial details.

If you are unhappy take courage and leave. I found out my husband was having an affair with my best friend and was devastated. We’d been married nearly thirty years and I thought my world had ended. In fact it was a blessing in disguise. A year after my divorce I met a wonderful man and enjoyed a very very happy marriage with someone who loved and respected me. It was worth the suffering and pain of the divorce. Good luck and I wish you every bit of good fortune for the future.

Have you got a place to go? Will you be able to manage financially? Does living on your own worry you? I did all that but I was in my forties, not sure whether I would have done it later.

As has already been said, if you're unhappy then leave pollychat.

The number of years does not matter if you are unhappy.
Make a decision, then make a plan. Several of us on here, including me, have done it. I wish you well.

Polly if you are unhappy you should leave. Do not stay and wish years down the line you had left, please don't. Good luck.

Once you have your plans in place and you have somewhere to go and the means to start a new phase of your life then go.

If you need help do what you can to put it in place for your move and afterwards.

Support after leaving is a good things as it can be difficult to get through wobbles until you have established your new life.

I wish you the best of luck and please take care of yourself whatever you decide to do.

If you are debating my advice is go, before something happens that means you feel you cannot. I’ll health for example.

Have you had / would he consider counselling? Do you have children / grandchildren? Could you manage financially? Is anyone else involved (romantically)? Are either of you unwell? How long have you felt as you do?

I left an awful 42 year marriage. I’m much happier just leave

If you're terribly unhappy then there's no point in staying - why prolong the misery?

It's not a practise run so go and be happy don't hesitate.

You'll be so relieved to get out.

If you’ve had enough and can afford to do it/have somewhere to go, why not?

Agree absolutely with Lucca. Don't be afraid pollychat take that first step then it gets easier.

If you are unhappy and don’t love him, then leave Life is too short.

Thank you

It's always OK to leave a situation where you are not happy.

There will, of course, be lots of effects on other people but they are for them to deal with. If you are happy that will have a beneficial effect on the people around you in the long run.
I hope it works out well for you.

Hi polly, if things are bad enough that you need to ask this on GN, then leave. I find that making a list of pros and cons works well in almost any situation - whether to leave a husband (I left mine), whether to move house, etc. For me it helps to clarify my thoughts.

I wish you all the very best. It's a courageous decision to take. I've been there. Good luck. xx

If you are unhappy,go. Just because it's been 43 years doesn't mean you have to stay.

Well its ok to leave a marriage at anytime. It depends what you are waiting out, behaviours that have been an constant throughout your marriage or the fact he cant go out because hes broken his leg. Its impossible to say.