Do birthdays still matter?

My children make more fuss of my birthday than I do! I think that stems from my divorce when they were 11 and 12 years old and unable to buy me anything without help from their dad - which was not forthcoming sadly. So now they both arrange to visit me on the same date and we go out for a lovely meal and they offer to help me with some jobs around the house while they are here. They both buy me very thoughtful presents, nothing very expensive but usually a bottle of gin with a few other small things which they know I will like.

It’s their thoughtfulness in making sure they and their partners come to stay at the same time that means the most to me, also that they make sure I am free and not already going out with friends!

How lovely for you TeacherAnne
Yes I agree it's the thoughtfulness that counts

Teacheranne, perfect ?

Next birthday, take your courage in both hands and TALK to him about what you want. My husband likes it when I do that, as he then knows I will love my presents.

Birthdays are just a number to me now apart from this year as I get my state pension. I make a special meal for us to enjoy with candles and sparkling wine or cocktails.

My birthday this year was spent waiting at our holiday let for Bulb to come and fit a smart meter, we left home early as it’s a 90 minute drive.

Once there my husband sat reading emails while I went to get some milk and breakfast, he then gave me the bag of presents and cards from our children and my friends.

He told me he had got me a card but not a present, he then said go into town if you like and choose something and I will transfer the money!

I didn’t stay for breakfast, I disappeared into town, after about an hour he noticed I had gone and started calling me, he had no idea why I was upset!

A huge row ensued, an apology was made,we then both calmed down and all was fine until he asked what we were having for dinner that night.

Bulb never showed up, we drove home in silence and I prepared supper, the miserable b*****d hadn’t even put a bottle of champagne in the fridge.

His most recent birthday was a champagne breakfast, a very special present from myself and the children that I had organised and then dinner at a lovely restaurant paid for by myself.

DW and I always eat out on our birthdays; even during lockdown we got in a takeaway from our favourite local restaurant. Last year she was in hospital for mine, so to assure her I wasn't neglecting the occasion, having visited her, I sent her a photo of my dinner - cut glass, venison steak, etc. - to show that standards were being maintained.

I don't like my birthdays generally but I have had some unusual surprises which have been fun. I enjoy getting little presents for the family and they seem to be well received - or perhaps they're all just very polite!!!

My daughter makes quite a fuss of me on my birthday, even from New Zealand. Lots of lovely presents, but most importantly cards and photos of our beautiful grandchildren arrive. My sons, not so much.

I know what you mean. You just want someone to do those small things that you do. No big deal on the surface but massive deal underneath. Guess you’re feeling unappreciated.

Vetrep, your arrangements seem far too complicated to me - especially concerning presents from others (your kids and brother). Surely, it's up to them to choose what to buy him - if anything?

I think of birthday presents being for children, not adults. I'd just do the special meal out, that's all. We don't bother with cards at all these days, just say 'Happy birthday' or send a text.

My husband would sometimes make an effort, but it always involved ignoring any suggestions I made (No it's your birthday it must be a surprise!) and spending a lot of money on something I didn't want and probably didn't even like. In later years the children got quite good at steering him away from some of his worst ideas.

It's my birthday tomorrow so expecting at least cards from the children - and I'm told there will be cake!