Couple 'grooming' lonely elderly people.

I would most definitely say to Report them firstly to The Police and then to anyone associated to the property that they live How Horrid

Manipulaton of the feelings of the lonely eldery person is very difficult to challege when it leads to over the top gifts. The boundary beetween reasonable and between groomed affection is at present impossible to define.

How many old people are left lonely, their relatives not visiting or offering any support or assistance, their partners dead and living a solitary existence quite alone. Then dreadful people see this vulnerability and move in on them, take them for meals and shopping outings, things relatives don’t do and that lonely person is happy once more. It is coercion but no one can do anything about it. These vultures know just what they are doing and are very thick skinned and the way round the system. I don’t think a relative who abandons family should get anything, if they were so bothered it wouldn’t have happened. I don’t know what the answer is. I would have hoped in warden controlled homes there would be friends at least made and company with each other. I remember a few famous people leaving family that didn’t bother with them anything.

You said these people don't have relatives. Not one of you is, apparently, taking these people out / cooking for them / providing compnay / taking them on errands. And yet, you are concerned that the ex-wardens are preying on them, not to mention the fact that you have found out that it is happening, along with sundry other details, no doubt. Frankly, I more concerned about the above, and unless the elderly people are being abused, I doubt there is much that can be done about it. Reporting this mnight end up in having the old people sent to homes, if the couple are not allowed to look after them any more. And then, will you be satisfied?

OP
If you're worried, then do do something about it!
Are there really no relatives? What about longstanding friends? At that age, their longstanding friends may not be able to visit much but still keep in touch by phone or letter!
I'm a bit confused about them leaving the properties to these people as I thought these places were usually rented, or in some way would revert to the group in charge of the area!
But, on the other hand, these wardens/ex wardens are actually taking the time to look after them and take them out, treat them to meals and generally being friendly with them.
But if they are just doing these things for the ones who in properties &/or have money, then the concern is there!!
Also, (I watch far too many crime programmes) are these people dying of natural causes or illnesses? Are you worried there's fowl play?
If in doubt, please do something as it's better to be safe than sorry!!!

I would say report it for your own peace of mind. It is a difficult situation because you don’t know whether any coercion has taken place, therefore any investigation needs to be done discreetly by the correct authorities.

If it turns out that everything is above board, all well and good and no harm done. I say this because, many years ago, my mother’s cousin moved over a hundred miles to live fairly close to them. She made contact with them and, as she didn’t drive, my parents took her to appointments and took her out for the day every couple of weeks or so. No expectations of any kind but they were not treated very kindly by the cousin’s niece (my mother’s second cousin) when she turned up on one of her rare visits.

As expected, when the cousin died her niece was the main beneficiary, but my parents had been bequeathed a small sum. The niece managed to infer that this was why my parents had helped her, it was devastating for them as they had done it out of kindness and expected nothing.

This is why I say that any investigation should be discreet.

I feel the only answer is to call Age UK and ask for advice (they suggest this if you are worried about reporting safeguarding issues). If they suggest you report this, then you must do so to the body they advise.

I say this not because you know what has happened but because you don't. Let the people who know how to deal with this do so and then step back and don't, whatever you do, gossip about it.

It may be abuse, or it may not. It is not up to OP, or their husband to investigate or make decisions. They think there is a problem so they should report it, and then leave those with experience in the field to do their job.

Sometimes, the very act of investigating gives the vulnerable person food for thought. However, if they are judged to have capacity, then indeed they can leave their assets to whosoever they wish.

Nothing tricky about this at all.

Report it to police and social services. You need to protect these elderly vulnerable individuals and others going forward. As you say this has happened previously those cases can be investigated.

The sooner the better.

Wrong?
Certainly grooming elderly, possibly grieving widows, could be considered immoral.

My bro in law began doing this years ago and died with a nice stable of rental houses. Wrong? Who knows. The old women got a handi-man and friend at a time when they needed it.

I worked for a sheltered housing charity and we were forbidden to accept any gifts, it was considered gross misconduct. I have since, heard of this ' befriending' of an elderly persons and watched a documentary on TV who exposed these types of 'friends.' There was one 90+ frail man, it wasn't until a lovely community officer and social services got him on his own, and in a safe place that he would actually say he was afraid of the 'friend' who was cashing cheques for him. He was very scared she would come after him, I felt so sad for him. Then also, a friend's aunt had money and beautiful antiques. Some objects from her family home (before being sold) were added to her own room in sheltered housing to make it homely, started to disappear and she also started to ask for money. My friend asked her what she needed money for since everything she wanted, hair cuts, pedicures etc, were all on the monthly bill. Turned out she was giving it to one of the carers that bathed her! I told friend to immediately speak to the home manager - it should not be allowed. Anyway, it was stopped. I would speak to a community officer and adult services letting both know you have informed the other. Try to state facts and leave it with them.

My wise elder brother when he was terminally ill advised me to have our Mother living near me after he died, as he said "Mother is silly about men" meaning she was rather gullible.

Events proved my brother right.

A widow (with bungalow) we know of was befriended by a very 'helpful' person. He took her out in car and cut grass etc.
A short time later lady died and this young man was bequeathed the house and all contents.
Lady had two cousins who challenged this new will, and police were brought in, but no action taken. Most relatives of this man were disgusted and broke contact with him.

During the first lockdown I did "ring and chat" with several older people. It was organized via a local charity and I had to be vetted. My job was to ring about twice a week and find out if they had any needs for the charity to take care of (shopping, prescriptions etc). However I also used to chat with some of the ladies. One lady (I will call her Doris) I got very close to and we would chat several times a week. We never discussed financial matters - it was all personal reminiscences from our younger days. I had no actual physical contact with Doris and did not know her exact address.

One day when I rang another voice answered. The other woman claimed to be the daughter of Doris and said rather rudely "So your the busy body whose been calling my aunt every day". I explained the circumstances but the "daughter" did not want to listen and ordered me not to call again. I told her that I would prefer to hear that from her mother but she just hung up.

Over the next few days I tried calling several times but there was no response. I reported this to my charity contact and was advised that they were going to send a social visitor to the house and not to call Doris until I heard from them.

I never did learn the full outcome for reasons of "privacy". Only that a worker had visited Doris and that as a result Social Services became involved.

Its amazing how "relatives" can suddenly appear when a vulnerable person may have something to leave!

Report them, financial abuse is a crime, if they are grooming people they are breaking a law and it needs stopping think of those you'll save!

I look out for an ex-neighbour who was widowed last year. She is not without means, but has no friends and her only family are her late husband’s sister and a niece and nephew, and they have very limited contact as they live elsewhere in the country. My husband does her odd-jobs, we take her to her hospital appointments (she has cancer), she joined us over the Christmas period and we include her in many other family ‘events’ and we occasionally invite her out for meals or for coffee. All for no other reason than she is alone, lonely, in pain and grieving.

She has spoken at length about her will and the money she has at her disposal and I know she plans to leave her assets to her husband’s family, but I was very touched when she informed me that she has left a small bequest to the charity I founded (and that I’ve recently retired from). I can’t imagine that anyone who knows me would question my motives, but since reading this thread I’m left thinking about the people who don’t really know me and wondering if they’re harbouring suspicions about me grooming her. ?

The opening explanation says they were wardens.
Not that they still are.

But these two people are presumably paid to do a job......and possibly those they target are getting a higher level of service thereby creating a two tier system. No, I don't like it at all.

Some of the posts in this thread are deeply worrying to me with a safeguarding background I don't know if posters can't see the abuse or are the Minding my own business type but anyone witnessing this and doing nothing with regard to reporting it is enabling the abuse !

Exactly!
We're lovely.
Just pragmatic.

Seems so MissA could anyone be more wrong.

I presume I'm the other person likely to groom people.

Harsh post GrammyGrammy we are allowed an alternative viewpoint without being accused of elder abuse.
Having spent my entire working life in nursing and social care I take exception to your comments.

Pass it on to people who deal with these issues, and let them investigate, rather than trying to play detective, is my take on it.