MIL was diagnosed with womb cancer. How can I help?

yes, don't make her feel she's at deaths door by dashing to her side. Let her take it in and she will set the pace!

Yes, she will have a hysterectomy first.
Aftercare depends on how she feels. My DD dashed up from the South (250 miles away) to look after me, and frankly I would have preferred to have been left alone.
This sounds ungrateful but I felt 'on show' and she arranged for friends to call to 'cheer me up' when all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't want to be bothered with entertaining.
I didn't care if the house was a mess, and although I could hardly lift the kettle to make a cuppa, I had a perfectly capable husband who could do all that for me.
Ready meals are a godsend, but all I needed was rest.
The cancer will either have been removed, or will need treatment, and that's when you ned it contact Macmillans or similar, and get individual advice from experts. We are all different.

We always thought that practical help would have been nice.
On days where we spent hour after hour at the hospital, it would have been really helpful if someone might have fetched a dinner round, and things like that.

Difficult, I realise, as you live so far away, but practical help would have made things so much easier, because bunches of flowers don't cut the lawn, get the washing in, or scrub the loo.

These are all great suggestions. Thank you. I appreciate it. MIL is in good spirits now but we think once the realities set in, it that might change and we want to try to support her as best we can. You can read all the articles you want about how to support someone with cancer but sometimes it’s best to find out how others have supported loved ones or hear advice from those that were affected.

@Hithere Yes, I will definitely ask MIL what kind of help she needs.

@lemsip Yes, I don’t know all the details but I think she will be having surgery.

@crazyH Aww, thank you. Yes, we have offered for her to stay but she prefers to be near home as her doctors are there.

@Visgir1 I am so sorry you had to go through this. Many thanks for your helpful suggestions. Yes, I already mentioned to him to go up for a visit and if she has any surgeries that he should be there with her. Thank you for your well wishes. I hope all goes well with you.

@M0nica Thank you. Yes, we don’t want to annoy her as we are eager to help.

Let her lead the way in telling you what help she needs.

Just ask her once, after she has recovered from the shock, of the diagnosis, what help she needs and tell her that if she needs any help she shold awlays ask.

But do not try to be too helpful. Sometimes the worst part of being ill, is all the people rushing round you trying to help.

Poor her.. I had it 8 years ago.. Unbelievable shock thought it was a Fibroid . Luckily stage 1.
Within 4 weeks I had a total full works Hysterectomy.

She will need her partner with her but her son will help her emotionally being there after her Op. She will want to see him, I just wanted to see my 2 children.

Perhaps he can stay for a few days popping in to see her,
Just see how she gets on? She will let you know her wishes I'm sure.

Once she is home she will want to rest. Ready to face the results and any other treatment. That's awful just waiting for the outcome. He can face time her and you can speak to her.
I just needed a few doses of Radiotherapy happened about one month later.

I could have been fully discharge from Oncology at 3 years but I asked to do the full 5 years, seen frequently at first then yearly.

I really hope it all goes well, my best regards to her.

So sorry to hear this. It’s such a shame she lives so far away from you , as you seem such a kind DIL. Perhaps she could come to you to recuperate, although probably it will be best for her to stay near the Hospital, where she is having the operation.
Hope all goes well. x

well she'll have the hysterectomy straight away to get rid of the womb for a start.......then she'll be clearer of the way forward

Terrible news.

Everybody reacts differently, I would tell mil what kind of help she needs and call it by ear