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Question for divorced gransnetters

(95 Posts)
H1954 Thu 14-Jul-22 14:30:21

I'm presently having a long overdue sort out and I've reached the task of sorting through years and years of photographs. Amongst them is my wedding photos, having been divorced for many years I'm tempted to dispose of them. If you're divorced what did you do with yours? Please be kind.

albertina Sat 16-Jul-22 13:56:50

Initially I threw the big album in the bin along with the smaller one. A friend persuaded me to fish the small one out ( wipe off the baked beans) and keep it somewhere for my children.

It was a disastrous marriage. Forty years on I can look at the pictures reasonably well, but the hurt he caused me and his children is still there.

GreyKnitter Sat 16-Jul-22 13:39:35

I gave mine to my children - the girls accepted them joyfully but my son didn’t want any. At least I no longer have them. I’ve still got photos of my daughters wedding - she’s divorced now - and I’ve got rid of those with him in but kept the ones of my daughter, family and friends.

Purplepixie Sat 16-Jul-22 13:17:57

BIN!

crazygranny Sat 16-Jul-22 13:14:50

Our wedding photos were so awful that I happily binned them. The children (now in their 30s and 40s) have shown no interest in what the wedding day was like.
I have been very careful indeed to preserve photos of their childhoods and this Christmas gave them each ab album of pictures of themselves as the years passed.

Madashell Sat 16-Jul-22 13:06:48

My DIL had just left my son and their children, one of the most difficult things he’s done is to take down all wedding photos and family photos with her in. It’s been part of understanding she’s not coming back. They’re in a box in the loft, having read all your comments her I shall suggests he keeps some for the children to chose from.

On a better note he has filled the spaces with beautifully framed photos of him and the children. Tough times.

annab275 Sat 16-Jul-22 13:00:29

Having been widowed and divorced I have kept the photos, although they are informal. I consider both these relationships part of my life history so had never thought to destroy photos. I just clear out pics of boring blurred views

Noname Sat 16-Jul-22 12:52:06

I still have my album from my first marriage tucked away and also I have the album from my DD’s failed marriage as she wanted me to take care of it but not have in her possession.

icanhandthemback Sat 16-Jul-22 12:38:00

I've kept mine because my kids will have a choice as to whether they want them. I can't quite bring myself to bin them and it is one place where almost my entire family is in one place. By the time I married my current husband, many of those family members had died.

Alie2Oxon Sat 16-Jul-22 12:29:18

I never had any! Someone's cousin took some, but we never got them.
I think, though, that I would still keep them, in spite of everything since... they are, if nothing else, a bit of history.

Very 60s history: me in an orange shiny shift dress and him in his ratty old sandals..... them were the days..

rowyn Sat 16-Jul-22 12:23:46

Ditto to many of you. I've been divorced for 30 years, but have kept the wedding photos. They're in a box somewhere and I will leave them there for my daughters to make a decision on when they have to clear my house.

Maxine16 Sat 16-Jul-22 12:15:23

I'm not divorced but have recently thought of getting rid of most of them. It's ok now though but only because he's now too frail to be a threat. Looking at the photos just makes me sad. I was only 21 and we had only met 10 months previously. I was such a naive young girl who thought he was the nicest man I'd ever met and was looking forward to us being so happy together. I honestly don't know why I didn't leave it tell him to. What a fool I've been.

magwis Sat 16-Jul-22 12:08:52

When my son's marriage ended he asked me to look after his wedding photo album saying there were some nice pictures of those no longer with us ...

Bilboben Sat 16-Jul-22 12:08:28

Of course there us now the option of digital copying for future generations. Are we too old to consider that it has it been done. I have never wanted to destroy parts of my history. Be it good or bad these things happened and in my view should be kept even if not often looked at.

Nannashirlz Sat 16-Jul-22 12:06:11

I’ve actually kept my wedding album for simple fact I’ve so many photos of family members no longer with me. and should my sons or grandkids want to look at them in future then they can see where they came from. Mines with all my other photos, it’s your passed ppl can’t wipe out past, I’ve also got all my newspaper cutouts of family members I’ve lost tape on back page too. Divorce is painful and bitter but it wasn’t always and it’s nice that family can look back and remember when you were in love and not throwing daggers at each other lol

nipsmum Sat 16-Jul-22 12:04:52

I've been divorced for over 30 years now. I still have my wedding photos. My daughter's wanted me to keep them and my granddaughter's can look at them if they want to. Please don't be too Hastie to throw them away yet.

Bankhurst Sat 16-Jul-22 12:03:44

I have been divorced twice and have kept the albums. They reflect my life and show two happy days. I see no reason to discard them.

Chestnut Sat 16-Jul-22 12:01:24

I can understand people throwing them away if they have unpleasant memories of that person and there were no children. But if you have children then put away your personal feelings and think 30 years ahead when you are gone. It would be fascinating in 2072 to see ancestors' wedding photos from 100 years earlier in 1972.

MattDanNana Sat 16-Jul-22 11:58:18

I gave my to my daughter. She later divorced herself and gave her wedding album to me!! They are in my garage!

mokryna Sat 16-Jul-22 11:51:05

Don’t throw them. My ex MiL threw piles of family photos away when she was depressed, she was a survivor of a nazi camp. My ex has no family photos.

LadyGaGa Sat 16-Jul-22 11:48:48

I have recently been sorting through hundreds (maybe thousands!) of old family photos - from me, my mum and her mum dating back to about 1880. In my mind the photos of my ex husband are just as important and form part of the family history, whether I like it or not ? I have bought a large photo storage box off Amazon and been ruthless in pairing down, just storing the ones that I think will be of interest. I know that at least one of my children will pass them on as she’s as sentimental as me! But at the end of the day what they do with them is entirely their choice - but I won’t be parting with them.

rockgran Sat 16-Jul-22 11:43:03

My ex and I shared them initially. I scanned some to my computer and gave my wedding album and early family photos to my son. I didn't want to destroy them as my son and his family may want to know their history. Once the initial pain wears off they are actually quite interesting.

Lolee Sat 16-Jul-22 11:43:00

I "found" my wedding album recently whilst clearing out my drawers. It brought back memories, I sighed and put the album back in the drawer again without looking at it. My ex-husband died six years ago but I only discovered his death by chance two years ago. He had killed himself and no-one had thought to tell either myself or our now grown up children. I wasn't sure what I should be feeling. One day, I may be able to look at our wedding photos again and remember all the positives but, until that time, they'll stay locked in the drawer.

You married your husband because you once loved each other, no matter what the outcome. Keep your photos safe. They're part of your life's story. It's not just the good parts that make us who we are, it's our whole life experience. Be kind to yourself.

timetogo2016 Sat 16-Jul-22 11:38:36

I never liked bonfire night until the day my divorce came through.

mokryna Sat 16-Jul-22 11:37:20

On a very high top shelf which thé children can decide what to do with.

Juicylucy Sat 16-Jul-22 11:36:48

Let my girls take ones they wanted burnt the rest.