Question for divorced gransnetters

SusieSue hope you are happy now as well? It felt great didn’t it !

I guess some people think short term and some people think long term.

Ripped his head off all the photos then put the whole lot in the bin.

I have been divorced too, but I've kept mine. I love all things history and was so grateful to my Mum when we cleared her house, for all the birth / marriage / death certificates, labelled photos and and other artifacts that recorded our family history. The emotion they may stir in you, will not be the same for them, but I am sure your grandchildren and even your great-grandchildren will have fun piecing together past years of your family, and learning what great-great-granny looked like.

One piece of advise I would give - that you label all the photos on the back with the the names of those who appear in each photo. You may know who they are, but future generations may not.

TwiceAsNice

As I divorced a controlling violent man I took great pleasure in ripping them up and throwing them away ( my children knew they didn’t want them either ) Extreme to others maybe but it gave me a great deal of satisfaction

Twiceasnice, like you, finally got free of toxic manipulative narcissistic violent man and recently took great delight in throwing the wedding album and video in the bin and watched the bin lorry taking it away.

Dibbydod Things like this can be priceless to others if not to ourselves.
Exactly! People are thinking of themselves and how they feel about the wedding. Not thinking ahead to the future when they are long gone and their grandchildren are old and want to show them to their children.

I often see very old family photos in charity shops and wonder why no one cared enough to hang on to them. It seems sad that life passes quickly and eventually your time on earth is forgotten.

BlueBelle

I ve also been divorced twice but I kept all my photos they are my history and a reminder not to ever get married again how ever nice they might seem ?

This made me laugh. Yes, 100%. ?

I realised I couldn’t put names to some of our guests so scanned every photograph and asked XH to help with the blanks. I hadn’t quite finished, & hadn’t got round to scanning the cards when the flat roof failed in the room in which they were stored and they all got soaked. So no option, but at least I have digital copies, with names. The dress went to charity a few months ago because I felt the time was right. Absolutely no bitter feelings toward XH, which helped.

I have been divorced for over 35 years but still keep all our wedding photos in a box in the cupboard . Not that I’m particularly bothered, but our now grown up son, daughter & little grandchildren will welcome them to look at for theirselves one day , as after all , it was their own Mum & Dads special day , a piece of history to look back on .
I just wish that I’d had some photos of my Mam & Dads wedding to look back on and to cherish . Things like this can be priceless to others if not to ourselves.

Put them in the loft with other family memorabilia, so that children/grandchildren can ultimately make a decision as to whether they want to keep them. Both of us have remarried and have a very amicable relationship.

Ripped them up and binned them. Didn’t want or need any reminders of the lying adulterer.

I gave mine to my daughter and told her she could either keep them or chuck them. I don’t know which she did but I suspect she threw them away.

When my mum died I found an amazing photo in her flat which I’d never seen before. It’s only because I managed to find a cousin of hers that was still alive that I was able to name most of the people in it.

Just to add, when you tuck those photos away make sure you write people's names on the back. There have been countless old family photos which are no good 50 or 100 years later because there are no names! My cousin has a beautiful old album with Victorian and Edwardian family photos but no names. It's very sad because you are left guessing but can never be sure.

Disastrous marriage. When I left the matrimonial home with my children, 11 yrs later, I left the wedding album with him as I didn’t want it … no, thank you.

Kept them , I love looking at old photos and still do from time to t ime . I was divorced in 1984 .

Allow children to choose which ones they want and put any remaining ones away in an envelope for the grandchildren, after all it is their history, family, ancestry too.

My daughter has mine

Good point, Chestnut. I’ve got photos of my first wedding and kind of treasure them (although the split was horrible). Second one took place on Antigua, so lovely souvenir but I can’t bear to look at them or my framed wedding photos, even though I’ve been divorced for nearly 2 years. Some sort of PTSD ….

grandtanteJE65

May a wife contribute here?

Sadly no-one is likely to want your collection of photos now or later.

If you have children,OP, you did not say that you have, or nieces and nephews obviously you can ask them if they would like any of your photos, but basically you can just as well dispose of them as you see fit.

I imagine it depends on the reason for your divorce whether you want to keep you wedding photos or not. Most of us have kept our wedding dress too - and no-one is going to want it either.

My aunt sorted through family photos and put those she felt my sister and I might want in an envelope, (or three) wrote our names on it and added: family photos, you can keep or discard as you like.

We appreciated her consideration when we cleared her flat, as we both felt we had all the family photos we wanted and then some, and that none of our children will want them after our demise.

Wow, what a short sighted view! As I said, photos get better with age and they will be historic records in the future. Pictures of family should never be thrown out, just put them in a suitable box and keep them. You don't have to look at them, but someone will be fascinated and amazed to see them in 50 years time.

I threw my wedding photo album out a couple of months ago. Been divorced for 32 years. I did however take out a couple of group photos as a lot of my relatives in the photos are no longer with us.

I gave mine to our children. They were young teenagers at the time and kept them in their rooms. My youngest had one of him and his dad on display in his bedroom. That was fine. One of them has the wedding album, I'm not sure who.

Am so pleased the concensus seems to be to keep old photos. Not wedding related but my mother before she died must have had some kind of moment. She tore all my baby photos out of an album and put them in the bin. Luckily Dad saw this and retrieved some (not all) and secretly gave them to me. Gone though is a posed baby picture of my christening and one of her and her twin aged about 9 months in 1919 with her mother (my grandmother who I never met). My grandchildren would cherish that one now as no reference point re ancestry.

May a wife contribute here?

Sadly no-one is likely to want your collection of photos now or later.

If you have children,OP, you did not say that you have, or nieces and nephews obviously you can ask them if they would like any of your photos, but basically you can just as well dispose of them as you see fit.

I imagine it depends on the reason for your divorce whether you want to keep you wedding photos or not. Most of us have kept our wedding dress too - and no-one is going to want it either.

My aunt sorted through family photos and put those she felt my sister and I might want in an envelope, (or three) wrote our names on it and added: family photos, you can keep or discard as you like.

We appreciated her consideration when we cleared her flat, as we both felt we had all the family photos we wanted and then some, and that none of our children will want them after our demise.