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Daughter in debt

(127 Posts)
Seabreeze Sun 17-Jul-22 08:26:14

Hi ladies.
I need some good advice about my daughter. I discovered yesterday that she has been gambling. I am worried sick as she asked me to make a payment for her. She asked me to give her my bank details on line as she needed to pay it that day. I have no idea what form this gambling takes. It was difficult getting any information out of her. She has not told her husband ! She owes almost k3. My dilemma is do I tell her husband.
All of our communication has taken place via text. The last text I sent she has not opened.I have told her I will support her in getting through this but she must put a stop to it now. I’m worried that if I interfere I may end up falling out with both of them. I am also worried what she might do if pushed to far.

Seabreeze Tue 19-Jul-22 20:45:44

ForeverAutumn
I wanted to speak to my son in law because as we are aware gambling is addictive and the gambler does not want to give up their obsession. In my text to her I told my daughter that she must speak to him knowing that she probably would not. If it was her that was gambling,he would be the person to best support and help her. It’s all irrelevant now. It was the scammer.

M0nica Tue 19-Jul-22 15:35:20

If a thread goes on for several pages, especially on a subject like this then the chances are that the problem has been resolved and while, you may not want the bother of reading the whole thread, you can do a quick scan down previous pages, which will usually be sufficient, to show whether the problem has been resolved or not, and , in this case, that the overwhelming proportion of posts were telling the OP is was almost definitely a scam, which of course it proved to be.

Even after the original problem has been solved, further discussion can be useful when othe rposters can bring new information to the thread, or expand on any part of the problem that would benefit from it.

lexigran Tue 19-Jul-22 11:31:15

So glad I read this thread, just had the message on my WhatsApp about a new phone number. I wouldn't have replied , didn't know which DS it was meant to be from hmm

Daddima Tue 19-Jul-22 10:24:38

Calendargirl

Just wondering whether to start (yet another) thread on why people don’t bother to read through the posts before replying.

“OP’s posts should be highlighted”. (Perhaps, but they aren’t).

“ I haven’t time to read through all the comments”.
(Maybe not, but you have time to post a much repeated reply)

“Does it really matter if people keep giving advice when the OP has updated us days ago!’ (Yes).

I wonder if the serial repliers have read the thread, but think their advice is definitely the best, so they’ll just post it anyway!

Calendargirl Tue 19-Jul-22 09:30:37

Just wondering whether to start (yet another) thread on why people don’t bother to read through the posts before replying.

“OP’s posts should be highlighted”. (Perhaps, but they aren’t).

“ I haven’t time to read through all the comments”.
(Maybe not, but you have time to post a much repeated reply)

“Does it really matter if people keep giving advice when the OP has updated us days ago!’ (Yes).

Saggi Tue 19-Jul-22 09:14:35

I had this scam two months ago….. I kept questioning ‘ my daughter’…. questions, questions!!! Until I finially text “ I will not give you anything until you pick the phone up and SPEAK to me in person”… she kept making excuses as to why she couldn’t do this!! In the end I goaded her so much that she came out with “but mom, I need the money, please…please…please. “
That gave it away as we are NOT American so would never use the word Mom. Also my daughter would never beg!! This has SCAM written all over it!! Report and delete!!

JdotJ Tue 19-Jul-22 07:40:18

So, have we now all established that
IT'S A SCAM ....??

welbeck Tue 19-Jul-22 00:19:39

do we have a GN classics section, like MN do ?
this thread would cert be a candidate for it.

mokryna Mon 18-Jul-22 23:21:19

Kryptonite

Ok, just seen is a scam. But this is never laughing matter.

Sorry. The laughing matter was how posters do not read before posting advice.
Seabreeze Sun 17-Jul-22 22:56:38
One poster was shouting and another asking another for wall space to bang her head on.

Mamma7 Mon 18-Jul-22 22:05:15

Beware Post Office scam - says they tried to deliver a parcel and asks to click for website (very believable pages) it asks for postcode and then details the local sorting office, then asks for £5 for new delivery and asks for bank details - I almost fell for it as I was expecting a parcel (who isn’t these days?) but stopped just in time. Phoned PO who said they were aware of this very sophisticated scam. I couldn’t believe how authentic it all looked and I thought I was very aware of scammers….but very nearly fell for it.

Hetty58 Mon 18-Jul-22 21:52:21

(just seen that it's a scam - thank Heavens)

Hetty58 Mon 18-Jul-22 21:50:51

Never, ever, give anyone your card details - full stop. If it's not a scam and really is your daughter - then help her find professional help with addiction and debts.

Carmo1 Mon 18-Jul-22 21:38:51

I had same text from one of my sons saying he had new number I copied the message onto a group family chat we have sure enough it was a scam

ForeverAutumn Mon 18-Jul-22 21:05:05

I feel really sorry that you received this message and instead of contacting your daughter, you posted on Granset for advice on whether you should contact your son in law. Please be aware in future that people on the internet are trying all kinds of scams to seperate you from your money. I have no idea about your relationship with your daughter but it speaks volumes that you would rather speak to your son in law.

chris8888 Mon 18-Jul-22 20:50:12

Scam like others have said especially the l have changed mobile number bit

Kryptonite Mon 18-Jul-22 20:29:16

Ok, just seen is a scam. But this is never laughing matter.

Kryptonite Mon 18-Jul-22 20:28:02

Do not give her any more money as you are just enabling her gambling addiction. One of the things she will need to learn is to take responsibility for her debts and face the consequences of her actions. Her husband should definitely know what is going on. She needs HELP. Gambling is known as a hidden addiction. Is is growing at epidemic proportions here and in the US.

kevincharley Mon 18-Jul-22 19:49:21

Just seen your post confirming it was a scam. Thank goodness you found out before you handed over your details.

kevincharley Mon 18-Jul-22 19:47:01

I find this rather concerning. If she needed money to pay a bill wouldn't she have asked you to transfer a sum to her account?
Please speak to her a.s.a.p.
And change your passwords immediately.

grannydarkhair Mon 18-Jul-22 19:20:45

Shandy57 I agree, but even with that facility on Mumsnet, many people still respond to the original post long after the matter has been resolved. It’s rather irritating I must admit, but sometimes very funny as well.

mokryna Mon 18-Jul-22 18:15:41

??????

Arto1s Mon 18-Jul-22 17:40:11

A scam for sure.

Callistemon21 Mon 18-Jul-22 17:37:46

toscalily

Unbelievable! think you need an icepack MerylStreep

I don't think it's MerylStreep who needs one ?

M0nica Mon 18-Jul-22 17:36:48

Gabrielle56 It has already been established that this call was a scam call and that the OP's daughter had neithe been gambling, nor had run up any debts ata all.

Sago Mon 18-Jul-22 17:36:35

ITS A SCAM OP IS AWARE Astonishing????