Daughter in debt

This sounds very like a scam that’s doing the rounds just now. Especially as you say all your communication has been by text. Please don’t give your bank details. You need to speak to your daughter and you hopefully might discover she didn’t send those texts. Her phone may have been hacked.

Please don't let her have your online bank details, if she is addicted to gambling I'm afraid you cannot trust her. Yes, I think this is something I would share with my husband/partner because you and your daughter will need support. Gambling addiction can be very difficult to deal with and she needs proper help, she probably will find it very difficult to stop but there are things that can be put into place to stop her using online gambling sites. A good place to start would be Gambling Anonymous. Good luck, I'm afraid the road ahead might be rather rocky.

Please don't give her your bank details even if you are happy to pay her debt, I had a friend whose son was gambling and needed to pay off a debt she made the mistake of giving him her bank details and he cleared out her bank account, she never thought he would do something like that but he was addicted to gambling. It sounds as if she needs help and support but think it is for her to tell her husband.

If you daughter has your bank details then I think it is essential that you contact your bank immediately and ask them not to authorise any payments to gambling websites. You should also consider cancelling your card. The fact that she has not contacted you since you gave her the details is very concerning. Gambling is an illness as well as an addiction and it is essential that you do all you can to protect yourself.

What a sad dilemma you face. Unfortunately, the knee jerk reaction is to give her the money, who wouldn’t help their child. But, you could be enabling her to gamble it away.
If you tell her husband, she might resent you for doing that, but I would put up with that if it helped my child get help for addiction.
Personally, I would speak to her husband, you will know what sort of reaction he will have. Hopefully a supportive one. Addiction is an illness and she will need whole family support.
Also in the end, if the Bailiffs come knocking (or worse) her husband will definitely find out.

My first thought would be this is a scam Does she live near to you? If soI would go immediatly to her home and show her the text. If it is a scam you ignore it, if it isn't you sort it out there and then. Personally I would tell the husband however not knowing your family dynamics that would be your choice,

No.. No.. Its a scam. If your really concerned tell your OH and go and see her.

Sorry notgran.. Cross Post

SCAM, SCAM, SCAM. BEWARE!!!!!!!!

Well you could kill two birds with one stone here.
Go to her house when dh is in and inform them that her phone has been hacked and the hackers are trying to get money from you,then show them the txts.
DO NOT give your bank details out.
If your daughter is indeed gambling it`s out in the open without you dropping her in it so to speak.

Give her a call just to make sure you know what’s going on and don’t give her your bank details. If she is addicted she could clean you out!

Call her - as others have said, it could be a scam & she knows nothing about it. Best wishes.

Seabreeze, you say she "asked" for bank details, did you give them to her?
If you did, you MUST contact your bank NOW - I know its Sunday, but their help line will be open although it will be undermanned and difficult to contact. This is almost certainly a scam and your account is probably empty by now.
Speed is of the essence - don't wait until tomorrow.

I can see lots of pitfalls here. It is possible this is a scam, if so and you went straight to your DD how will she react? She might be offended that you would even imagine she could become a gambling addict. Only you know how close you are to her.
Or it could be true.
Either way don't give out your bank details.
If it is true there are organisations which help compulsive gambling

Speak to her personally, preferably face to face, or by phone.

Do not give your bank details out, because hopefully it is a scam, and if it is not and she is gambling, you cannot trust her with access to your account.

I don't think you should tell her husband, but again if she is in trouble, try to persuade her to do so.

I agree. This sounds like a scam I've been hearing about.

Seabreeze hope you’re ok and in touch with your bank. Don’t feel bad about your immediate caring reaction.

Impressive response, gransnetters.

Seabreeze , I can imagine how you are feeling right now. Please take the advice given. I too strongly suspect this is a scam - contact your daughter by phone or old fashioned letter - 1st class stamp and ask her if the message was from her. MOST IMPORTANTLY ring your banks help line now . If it is a scam do not let feeling foolish prevent you from contacting your bank , it happens to many people and these horrible individuals are very clever. Please act today and keep us posted, thinking of you.

Hi. No I did not and would not give her my bank details.
She’d text me earlier in the day to say she has changed her mobile number. That’s all it said I’ve changed my mobile number nothing else.I text back to ask if it was her and she said yes. Of course now that some of you have said it could be a scam I realise how this might be. I will ring the landline, fingers crossed it’s a scam as I’m sure it will be her husband who answers. I don’t want to be the one who has to tell him if it isn’t a scam. Thanks for your advice all.

That is the scam Seabreeze.

Definitely think this is a scam. Now you say she said she had changed her mobile number I am even more convinced this is a scam, as this technique of getting people to talk to scammers by saying the person has changed their mobile number is a classic scammers trick

It has been used when people are buying houses, texts telling those about to purchase that their solicitor has changed their number or email address so that instead of sending money to pay for their house to their solicitor they redirect to a scammer. people have lost £100,000s that way.

It has been used to get people's banking details from them and always you are given a good reason why you should not tell anyone else about whata is happening. DD gambling and keeping it secret is a classic example.

Why not ring your DD's [revious mobile phone number and actually speak to her. Then you will know whether it is her or not and you can then check it out with her without her husband hearing, but honestly I would be gobsmacked if this were not a scam.

Seabreeze that’s good you haven’t parted with your bank details. It does sound like the “Dear Mum” scam which is rife in recent weeks. I’ve heard it discussed several times on tv programmes. I’ve attached a link here about it.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/dear-mum-whatsapp-scam-b1997205.html?amp

Why don’t you simply talk to her OP?

Scam! I was scammed out of nearly £9000 - a different kind of scam - I’m hoping it will be returned to me but not sure….