Should I interfere with son's relationship

They may well split up but if so it is their business, not yours.

He may have to experience the pain of growing wiser. He is an adult. Let him find his own path without interfering.

The subject of your post is all one needs to read. As long as no one is endangered, the answer to this question is always going to be no.

i think there have been a few wind-up merchants on these boards recently.

Not everyone has the same wants and needs in a relationship. Myself, I’m happiest NOT going out. Others would suffocate.

All the more reason to MYOB.

Maybe think about how your son might be feeling after a bad experience he might not be ready for anything more than that sort of relationship. If the girl is also taking time out from serious dating she might be put off if she sees it as he is trying to push things
Even if he asks you what you think you need to be so careful, listen to him reflectively to help him make his own mind up.

This woman may not want or need to be "treated or taken out" we dont all want the same things.I much prefer buying things for myself than having other peoples taste in gifts etc given to me and I'm much too polite to say I dont like that.I generally tell family and friends no presents please if you want to give to me give to a charity instead.Your sons partner may be the same but surely thats their decision and no one else's she may be a homebird and prefer staying in.....would you want to be dragged out to places or events when you'd rather stay home .
Be thankful she's not high maintenance or after his money and let them live their lives their way

It is difficult to watch your adult children mess up! But I do agree with everyone here that says don't interfere. If the relationship ends and he asks you what you think then you can tell him!

Leave him alone he's a man he doesn't need Mummy interfering

Agree with others NO NO NO

grandtante of course you help family if asked that’s not what this thread is about it’s about sorting a son out who hasn’t asked to be sorted out Two VERY different scenarios
I think you ve misread the point completely

1 no
2 hell no
3 are you crazy or what?
4 see 1

Being a mum of two sons I’d never dream of intervention in any of their relationships, yes I’ve watched them both going through some right nightmares with women and my advice would be say nothing unless it’s asked for. Try putting it the other way round how would you feel if someone butt in your love life. Kids only learn by their mistakes like any of us did and do.

No.

Don’t do anything. Say you interfere, then they get married and then she turns out to be a nightmare! Who will be to blame then Mum? X

absolutely NOT

grandtanteJE65

Reading this thread and others like it, I am contantly surprised how many of you say that one should never discuss adult children's relationships with them, and that our adult children should not dream of asking our advice!

My concept of family is very different:

while I agree that we should never interfere, or proffer unwanted advice, to me family is who you turn to first if something is worrying you, or is really going wrong.

When my son rang two years ago, almost in tears, as his partner was leaving him, he asked if he could come here, and of course we both said yes. As it turned out, they agreed to solve their differences and stayed together, without him needing to turn to us, but that was all to the good, (I hope).

But the priniciple holds - who do you turn to, if not to your families?

Professional advice may indeed be necessary or desirable, but to me it is only an uncaring, unloving family that does not share problems and worries, as well as all the good things.

I think your slant is skewed somewhat if you don't mind me saying. This is a case of mum stepping in unbidden and unwanted to put her ideas forward.not that son's asking advice!

Step away from your son's relationships!!!! It's his life, let him live it how he chooses. If no actual danger present it's none of your beeswax! If it goes tits up, be ready with the shoulder and somewhere to flop!

Least said soonest mended.

Suzey

Am I the only one who would say mention something ? It's only advice he doesn't need to take it ,you've only got his best interest at heart

OP has already suggested things.

The question is really - should she interfere further?
No she shouldn't.

Reading this thread and others like it, I am contantly surprised how many of you say that one should never discuss adult children's relationships with them, and that our adult children should not dream of asking our advice!

My concept of family is very different:

while I agree that we should never interfere, or proffer unwanted advice, to me family is who you turn to first if something is worrying you, or is really going wrong.

When my son rang two years ago, almost in tears, as his partner was leaving him, he asked if he could come here, and of course we both said yes. As it turned out, they agreed to solve their differences and stayed together, without him needing to turn to us, but that was all to the good, (I hope).

But the priniciple holds - who do you turn to, if not to your families?

Professional advice may indeed be necessary or desirable, but to me it is only an uncaring, unloving family that does not share problems and worries, as well as all the good things.

two words - butt out!

Am I the only one who would say mention something ? It's only advice he doesn't need to take it ,you've only got his best interest at heart

No I wouldn’t chat to the girlfriend, and I wouldn’t ask my son questions about his relationship, but I might say something like, don’t you think it would be nice if you took her out a bit more often.
If he said, no he didn’t Thankyou very much, that would be the end of that, no harm done

He says the girl is fine with it. Maybe she prefers it this way.