Husband’s moods spoiling things

I’ll admit to doing a lot for them. But it’s what my Grandma did for us so to me it’s natural. I will admit my DD can be lazy but she’s mine. Also I didn’t mention that my DH does a lot for her around her home and by way of lifts. I can see his point of view but feel caught in the middle as I enjoy what I do and it means I get to see the family regularly for which I know I’m very lucky.

Well, have you asked why he resents you doing things for the family? Can you sit down to discuss calmly how you resolve the ongoing tension? There might be compromises to be made on both sides to find a balance. Are there things he is missing out on because you are tied up with family?
When it comes down to a "choice" between your husband and your family, I think it would be quite a negatitve thing to say to a husband as it automatically makes him second fiddle. I'd probably explain that what seems like jealousy to you is unattractive and asking him how you could reframe that as a couple. Quite honestly though, the ball is firmly in his court.

It is an irony though because men often fall in love with their wives because they are generous of spirit with their family and then resent it when you carry on being like that!

He sounds a bit jealous of your close family. Could this be behind it? It must be very difficult for you.

Has your husband got children of his own?