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Worried about my daughter

(34 Posts)
BlueBelle Mon 15-Aug-22 16:08:26

You can’t diagnose debbie it could be anything mental or physical but it’s far from natural for a young lady to be staying in bed all day while she has three young children in her care
You have the two older ones living with you to help both them and her but it’s not helped has it ? she’s still staying in bed all day and not looking after the four year old who wants to be with his sisters and you and your husband
He must feel so unloved
Why is your daughter not working ?
Where’s the childrens Dad in all this ?
Of course you must go on your cruise but I think when you come back you need to really have a heartfelt talk with your daughter and try and find out if she is overwhelmed not up to looking out for three children , needs parenting classes is depressed and needs some anti depressants plus maybe counselling or physically ill and needing a doctor

I think this is serious

VioletSky Mon 15-Aug-22 14:56:02

I would push her to have a physical checkup, full bloods, thyroid, hormones etc

Then if they don't find a physical cause other help might be offered as needed

Debbi58 Mon 15-Aug-22 14:52:37

Thank you, she did she her doctor a few months ago, he diagnosed her with Stress, she's not on any medication, I think she should try some anti depression tablets , but she won't. She's tired all the time , even after a good night's sleep, which I think is due to depression

VioletSky Mon 15-Aug-22 14:19:55

I'd be worried too in your position, your daughter sounds like she needs mental health help. Unfortunately, that needs to come from her if she is going to make changes.

Please enjoy your cruise and try to out it aside for a while

Debbi58 Mon 15-Aug-22 14:15:22

Thank you for your advice ?

Lindyloud Mon 15-Aug-22 13:48:57

Hi, think I agree with the above comment. Sometimes we have so much to think about, deal with and ‘demands’ on us from elderly parents, children and grandchildren let alone our OH that sometimes we can’t ‘see the wood for the trees’.
Your holiday with some space both before and afterwards seems essential to get some perspective for the long term decisions that you need to make.
Good luck with the future, balancing so many demands isn’t easy but you also need to consider yourself and agree some ‘manageable’ arrangements with all involved. Perhaps having her daughters home for a couple of months without you to depend on might focus your daughter? Worth a try?
Have a great holiday & really relax - you deserve it!

vampirequeen Mon 15-Aug-22 13:35:55

I agree with Baggytrazzes. Stand your ground and enjoy your holiday. See what it's like when the children are back at school and the family have been rehoused.

Baggytrazzas Mon 15-Aug-22 13:32:16

HI, why not wait and see what the situation is after you return from the cruise? Just try to be firm, tell everyone they need to be settled back in their own home within the next week or two so that you have time to prepare for going away, which will give their mother time to get organised before you leave.

Enjoy your holiday!

Debbi58 Mon 15-Aug-22 13:04:35

My daughter is 30 this year , she has two daughter's aged 12 and 10 and a 5 year old boy . She's a single Mum, they live fairly close and I'm the only grandparent involved in their lives . They've always spent alot of time with me at my house, but recently they seem to want to be here all the time . The 10 year old has been here since April and the eldest since July. I don't have my grandson as much because of my arthritis and he's full of energy . My concern is my daughter doesn't show any interest in them and is not very loving . She seems depressed around the children, lying in bed all day charting to her friends on the phone. But perks up if she has a date with her boyfriend, we used to be really close and I could talk to her, but the last couple of months if I say anything, she's very rude to me . I know she's stressed waiting to be housed by the council as her landlord is selling up, the house is too small for them all anyway . My husband ( her stepdad) has always been good with her and is the children's only granddad , they all love him and have a great relationship with him. When I ring to ask if she's OK, I can hear my grandson shouting , can I come to your house nanny . I'm so stressed over it all , my own mother has been diagnosed with myeloma and my father in law ( 93) has kidney failure . My husband is retiring this week and wants us to travel more , we've now booked a cruise for next month and although my granddaughter's will be at school , they got upset at the thought of going home and not seeing me for 2 weeks . Sorry for the long post but I'm desperate for advice , thank you