What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

I am surprised that so many say "Don't get Married" because I did when I was 19 and never, ever regretted it. I would and did take the advice of my friends who had married in their teens because they were pregnant, to delay having children and have some time to enjoy ourselves without any responsibilities.
To those who regret not having more sex, I can only say that I bet that being married we had more great sex (we called it 'making love') than the singletons. 2 good wages/salaries coming in and both of us with secondary income from evening work in the music industry, so we were paid for our nights out , we were able to buy a car and anything else we needed as well as save for the future when we started a family - Je ne regret rien

Grandy56 I am so sorry to read how your father betrayed your trust in him.

I would tell the 24 year old me to take the fantastic job opportunity offered to me instead of getting married....

Assuming I was going to take any notice of myself:

- Look into Christianity now: don’t leave it till your late 20s. (I wish I had become a Christian earlier – I might have done fewer stupid things.)
- Pay attention to how you are using your time and money. Don’t overspend. Save and invest as early as possible.
- Don’t worry about making mistakes. You will make them, it’s normal. It’s better to move forward and then change direction than to do nothing for fear of going wrong.
- So pursue a career, don’t put your head in the sand.
- Think about someone’s character before you marry them. Is he kind, honest, considerate? Does he take responsibility for his actions?

I would say:

Be brave
Stand up for yourself
Stop being a people pleaser
Learn when to say NO
Have confidence in yourself
Be happy with who you are - it’s enough
Don’t overthink things
Don’t feel guilty about things
Take more risks

Is it too late to take these on board now, I wonder?

And wear sunscreen.

When you give up smoking, which you will, do not get complacent. A single cigarette and you will be hooked again.
(I gave up for a few months twice, and for 5 years once before realising this truth and finally giving up forever).

Follow your instincts. You’ll invariably be right.
Spend more time with your grandparents and ask them questions about their lives. One day you’ll want to know.

I would say to myself
‘Do not trust your father. ‘
He moved in with me after my husband died to ‘help’ me look after my young children . Years later, after he had died I found out he had abused my young daughter.

I'm another not to get married or maybe choose more carefully....
Enjoy life when your young and you don't have responsibilities
Don't listen to others that put you down as they are the ones with the problems

I'd say, ignore the medical advice and keep running, think hard before you speak, remember people's birthdays.

Wise advice GrandtanteJE65.

Look after number 1 because no one else will. Don’t get addicted to alcohol or prescription drugs it will bring you great shame and you will miss the 4 beautiful seasons. Let go of your phobia that you can’t control. You are worth it. You are enough. Stand up to your husband don’t accept the mental cruelty.

Don't get married ?

I would insist that I went on the contraceptive pill

Don't keep listening to all the religious stuff that kept me from doing normal growing up things. Read more than I was allowed to do. It's okay to relax and do nothing sometimes. Parents don't always know what's best for you.

Don’t drink alcohol.

So many wasted days when I could’ve been out up a hill somewhere!!

Be the best person you can be, Always show kindness. Be assertive and and have respect for yourselves and others,

Definitely !

I would say to learn become my own best friend. Like yourself and you will forge a relationship where you aren't desperate for others to like you, nor for their company and approval.

Stand up for yourself. You are just as good as anyone else. Don’t accept put-downs. Constructive feedback is one thing, a put-down is a put-down.
If you realise you are being used, distance yourself or get out of the relationship. Don’t give more than you receive back. Don’t put up with toxic relationships or toxic workplaces, just leave. Life is full of opportunities and you deserve better.
Choose men more wisely. Charm and excitement don’t last, kindness and reliability do.
Spend plenty of time with your parents as they get older. Once they are gone, they are gone.
Try to balance head and heart when making decisions.
Don’t take life too seriously!

Believe in yourself.
Don’t ALWAYS put others first-they don’t always have your best interests in mind.
Patience is a virtue but should have its limits.
Follow your dreams while you still have the choice.

You’re better than your mother thinks you are

What a great idea.

I would tell myself that I am by nature a rather anxious person, so I should take on jobs that weren't stressful.

I think I would tell myself to be much more choosy with men I dated and certainly with the man I married.

I would tell myself to be a lot less trusting, and to look after myself first.

I would have tried to understand my father better.

Thanks for giving me food for thought for the day !

I would have said have the courage to leave a marriage if you know it's not going to work.