Negative Help

Oh Quizzer ? ?? you've brought back some memories -
OH said it would be good for myself & DDs to have some Girl time - so we went off to Town for a leisurely afternoon. Coming home Golden Boy thought he'd done a great job in my beautiful garden by re-planting all my primroses in the woodland glade area into straight lines.
A friend fared far worse - she'd asked her - DH to cut down the poisonous Laburnum now they had a baby - he cut down 2 Apple trees instead.

Sounds like all possible assistance short of actual help!

Once upon a time a long long time ago newly married I asked my husband to fill the dish washer , he piled everything into it willy nilly then pushed the door up to close without pushing in the bottom shelf , everything fell and smashed , my lovely plates and cups ruined . Now many years and numerous lifes on I look back thinking it was done deliberately as I never asked again and he never offered .

P.s. I divorced him 15 years later ?

Mine is ok on the helpful front but why does he go out into the garden and leave the patio door wide open just when i have got the living room nicely warmed up? I hate the thought of all that lovely warmth disappearing out the door !!

I have one of those too. He so wants to help!

Can your husband push a hoover around? Clean the bathroom white ware? Tidy a bedroom shelf? Climb a ladder and clean the gutters?

Aldom yes I enjoyed the stories. That why I said Quizzer wrote this to be comical . But one poster equated it stress. It's not stress having your husband even if his help is more hindrance at least he tries. Better than a husband who expects to be waited on hand and foot.

Whiff I thought Quizzer and others who contributed their 'husbands antics' stories did so out of love, affection and appreciation of their partners. I'm sure they are aware of how fortunate they are to still be part of a couple. I've enjoyed the thread even though I am a widow.

Quizzer why I understand you wrote this to be comical and others have contributed with their husbands antics. But be thankful you still have a husband that is alive and fit enough to cause disasters. I would give anything to have my kutlz of a husband alive ,fit and healthy with me today. And not have had him die nearly 19 years ago aged 47.

Look on your husband as unique . And remember you properly do things that drive him mad.

Maybe how about communicating better with your dh?

What did they understand by wash up?

Ohhhhhhhh NOOOOO... his kind helpfulness would end up in an unkind fall out if that took effect in our house.... yes I would send him out of the house, banish him hahaha.

Last week my DH got the long handled cutters from the shed. I went out and stood in front of the trees and pointed directly where I wanted some trimmed. Nothing complicated no hassle just a clean sheer cut.
I went back in the kitchen looking out of the window while making pastry. I watched in horror as my DH chopped down my beautiful rambling rose I planted it twenty five years ago. I ran out to the garden and roared at him he said he thought it was just some kind of thorns. I asked since when has a thorn got massive pink roses on it. I was so upset but to be honest something like that happens every time I ask for help. From now on I will not ask but just get on with jobs myself while I am still able.

Two things DH has done today to help me. Put the bacon under the grill, but instead of the grill he’d turned the oven on, this has happened so many times I could scream ! The other thing today is I loaded the washing machine, powder in all he had to do was press the correct button,all good, washing done but when I opened the door they were wet through he’d decided to change the spin speed. Why ? I give up.

Sounds like Quizzer’s and my DH are in good company!

I’ve done that, too - strained my long-simmered chicken stock down the sink. ?

Dh did once throw away the lovely ham stock I’d have used for soup. He now knows to throw nothing away without checking first!

I've done that nandad!
Made stock then strained it down the sink but only had myself to blame.

Quizzer, I’m sorry you having all this stress. My DH is the same, I spent ages making and clarifying stock for a sauce when we had 8 people for dinner, DH decided to wash the saucepan and threw the stock away. I could have cried, well actually I could have murdered him. I had a large glass of wine and used stock cubes instead!

Not a big problem for me, other than “No thanks” to a cup of tea being unheard or ignored. I was given one piece of advice which would apply to the under bed drawer. My mum says, “They’ll always remember the bit you don’t want them to. Don’t mention it.”
I hope your weekend goes OK.

As you've had sympathy, I'll give advice! I am assuming DH is of sound mind.
Agree within the kitchen which is the washing up zone, keep to it except on rare occasions when agreed carefully in advance.
Avoid the word "don't " whenever possible. If you explained where the bedding was, why did you have to tell him not to put beans up his nose?
Now, have a lovely weekend and enjoy your cheese cake ( lime-less, or did you have spares?)

I am trying to work out which is worse, your "helper" or somebody who sits in an armchair all day long oblivious you do not open a cupboard and discover your evening meals sitting there, food bought, prepared, cooked and about to be served.

Both helpers end up causing a lot of work and each is oblivious to his failings.

You couldn't make it up
Sounds like a scene from Saturday Night Dinner Seriously, my heart sank for you. All your preparation wasted. Then I couldn't help laughing

Learned Helplessness

Thanks for all the sympathetic replies.

Can’t you ban him from the kitchen?, failing that send him on an errand, far away, some fork handles and candles would do.

I have one too,
The chimney sweep has just been, of course he has to help. Afterwards of three seats in the room a brown leather, a maroon settee or a pale beige strippy chair. Guess which one he sat in?
He often empties the dishwasher but leaves everything just above it in piles on the worktop. Which is harder to sort than emptying the dishwasher.
I never say anything because a lot of the time he gets things right. Though egg whites for a meringue have been known to go down the sink. Keep smiling.

And leave him to fix the drawer.