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Some of you may recall my earlier post in AIBU about my neighbour blocking the shared dropped kerb outside our adjoining drives with a wheelie bin to stop me driving over "her" half of the dropped kerb. That was resolved when my neighbour realised I was taking photos each day.
Since then, we have built our rear extension to make the house suitable for my wheelchair bound husband, including relaying the drive to make it a lesser slope for the wheelchair. My neighbour objected after the build was finished to the raised height of our rear patio and access path along her fence but the planning department ruled in our favour - our architect dealt with it for free on our behalf. Our builders had several "conversations" with her re parking, not leaning tools against "her" fence etc and she always "supervised" the man who came each week to pump out the Portaloo.
I avoid speaking to her and have found that several other neighbours also take this path.
While the house has improved, my husband's health has deteriorated as might be expected with Lewy Body Dementia and he now has two carers, three times a day, to dress, undress and change his Tena pad as it is not safe for one person to move him. He also goes to daycare twice a week and has recently started being transported by the centre's bus which has a tail lift for wheelchair access. The bus needs to park so that the tail lift is next to the shared dropped kerb. My neighbour does not drive but her son, who shares her house, has two cars, using one for work and the other for weekends. For the last three weeks, the "weekend" car has been parked (legally) outside their house, only on daycentre days, so that the bus cannot park there with the tail lift next to the dropped kerb. This is OK sometimes - the bus turns round and parks outside our house. At other times, parking outside my other neighbour's house, or ours, prevents the bus being able to park at all and it has to park several houses down the street, taking longer to load/unload my husband.
The parked car does not affect my access and, as it only happens twice each week on daycentre days, is clearly aimed at stopping the bus from parking for 5-10 minutes, twice each day, outside her house. The drivers have commented on it and I have explained about my difficult neighbour but I would like any suggestions you may have about how to stop my neighbours from parking, for no purpose, on daycentre days. The son must be in agreement with his mother to park the car outside as it means manoeuvring two cars morning and evening.
The parked car causes minor inconvenience to traffic, including buses and ambulances as we are on a route to the nearest hospital, and increases exhaust fumes from cars waiting to overtake.
I would like my neighbours to cease parking their spare car on the road but I don't know how to do this.
Is it harassment of a disabled person?
Is it, therefore, a "hate" crime?
Would the police and/or council be able to help?
Or should I just ignore it as it affects the bus, but not my access to my drive. It is likely to be temporary as my husband will, inevitably, move to a care home at some stage.
(As a side issue, I will not be able to move once we reach the care home stage as social services would then be able to take half the sale proceeds towards the care home fees. She has lived next door for about 30 years so I guess we are stuck with each other).
What is wrong with some people? Do they enjoy being so unpleasant.
Sorry I don't really have any advice but I would be inclined to have someone 'accidentally' bump his car out of the way.
Some people get so very territorial when it comes to "their" road, or their car.
The man who lived opposite my daughter was a sight to behold!
Could you ask the Day Centre management to write to your neighbour stating how difficult their parking habits are making the drivers duties in collecting your husband.
Sounds like it is only a matter of time before an ambulance on blue lights is actually obstructed by this inconsiderate individual. Shame he has nothing better to do than swap his cars around on 'Day Centre' days! What an a**e!
It's quite a known phenomena, from my time working in care.
There is always one neighbour who comes out to watch, if a minibus pulls up.
you say;
Or should I just ignore it as it affects the bus, but not my access to my drive.
Yes ignore it as it does not affect your access.
How very unnecessarily unpleasant behaviour. I’d ask to speak to a police officer, not. CSW. They may be prepared to speak with your neighbour and May consider cones the night before the bus is due. Look after yourself
Maybe contact a local councillor about the disability angle? Good luck.
Oh yes!
Local councillors love this kind of publicity.
That's an excellent idea.
MissAdventure
Some people get so very territorial when it comes to "their" road, or their car.
The man who lived opposite my daughter was a sight to behold!
We had one like that across the road too! He even went to the lengths of painting his own disabled space on the road, even though he wasn't disabled!
I remember your previous posts about your neighbour.
As others have said, I have no solutions. Why are people so nasty? It must stress you out, and you have more than enough on your plate.
My heartfelt sympathy.
My mums next door neighbours set up an elaborate system of planks and buckets to make sure nobody took their space.
If you can access it, it may be worth getting some legal advice. If your neighbour is only adjusting their parking habits on the days the bus arrives for your husband, then there is an element of harassment of a disabled person. If there is scope for such a consideration here, maybe a solicitors’ letter pointing that out, and the possible consequences if it continues, may be enough to concentrate their minds.
Disability is a protected characteristic so advice that you seek from any public body, such as your local council, must be responded to fairly, so I agree that your local councillor maybe a good starting place - as would be a word with the day care centre to see if they can advise. Alternatively maybe have chat with the police on the non emergency number, outlining the problem, and maybe pointing out that the manner of parking would constitute a problem for emergency services access.
I have a disability and have experienced similar behaviour for no particular reason (other than malice) and I do think there are traits of the bullying and cowardice in people who do this kind of thing. If you haven’t solved the problem by now, then I do think you need to seek outside help and it’s my experience that intervention from the appropriate authorities is the only thing people like this understand. Good luck.
Some thoughts on a very difficult problem with no easy answers.
You could try asking a solicitor to send the neighbours a formal letter. Most solicitors will give you a free initial consultation and may have other suggestions. The trouble is, there is a danger that this could inflame matters.
Have you thought of neighbour mediation? It's a long shot since it requires the neighbours to cooperate. It also works where there is a clear subject of grievance, which there doesn't seem to be in this case. It sounds to me like a clear case of bullying.
The only other thing I can suggest is that you keep as detailed a journal as you can of everything that happens, with times and dates. Use your local councillor(s) and MP or devolved representative (MPs can do nothing in Scotland and Wales but MSPs/AMs can) and keep them updated with the journal.
Do remember that if anything official is bought into play, then you are obliged to disclose that to potential buyers.
Hopefully, there will be a better way to resolve this.
Yes, I agree with Miss A about the potential selling the house problems.
Just what is their beef? (apart from them being horrible people).
Does the arrival of the mini bus impinge on their way of life in some way? Does it churn up a grass verge or something like that? or block their entrance? Does it put a tyre on their driveway?
Something must have set them off down this aggressive path in the first place.
It used to drive me mad when people from the church down our road used our wide gateway to turn their cars at the end of a service. Then I realised how petty I was being and they don't bother me, but it could easily have got out of hand.
I don't think cones would work - they are so easily shifted.
Your local Councillor may help.
Why not get in touch with council and see if double yellow lines can be put across the driveway and even outside next doors house. The council have done this on our driveway and our neighbours house.
Barmeyoldbat
Why not get in touch with council and see if double yellow lines can be put across the driveway and even outside next doors house. The council have done this on our driveway and our neighbours house.
I would suggest this too - your councillor I’ll be able to advise.
Your neighbour sounds spiteful; hopefully karma isn’t far away ??
I think you should discuss this matter with the police and find out exactly where you stand legally. These neighbours have the potential to be dangerous; it seems as though their spiteful actions intensify as your husband's needs increase. For your own protection you need an official record of this, as the woman's behaviour may become more volatile if she is thwarted.
How about very publicly photographing him when he moves his car and being seen to photograph the blocking of your drive. If he asks what's going on just tell him it's for the council/community police or whatever.
As taking photos stopped them before, it might work again.
You aren't allowed to take photos of someone without their permission.
You don't have to have film in your camera or a photo card. The point would be to indicate that you know what's going on and that you might be going to do something about it.
Actually I have taken photos of some daft youngsters doing something dangerous and the police were glad to see the pics.
Well, so much for data protection.
All those endless training sessions and nobody takes any notice - not even the police!
Update - no car parked on road today; I went out after bus took my husband to the daycentre. When I got back around 1400 there was a white van parked outside next door, presumably belonging to a workman doing a job there.
Van had left before bus dropped my husband home.
So a better day than I had anticipated.
I am going to think about your various suggestions over the weekend. Thank you all for caring enough to respond.
MissAdventure
You aren't allowed to take photos of someone without their permission.
I'm pretty sure that you can take photos of anybody in a public place. If you're on private land then you need the landowner's permission. Think of those holiday snaps with strangers in the background, or all the phones taking photos of celebrities. I'm not entirely sure of the rules but there is something about if you're somewhere with a reasonable expectation of privacy. I suppose that would include changing rooms, toilets etc.
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