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Grandson

(10 Posts)
Iam64 Fri 23-Dec-22 08:39:31

Very sad for this little boy who will grow up feeling abandoned by his father.
If yiu can establish a positive relationship with his mother, maybe you can have contact.

BigBertha1 Fri 23-Dec-22 07:40:14

I am so sorry for this situation. As others have suggested try to maintain contact with you ex daughter in law. My husband doesn't want to see his son and wouldn't let me website Xmas card I would normally have done this year.

Kim19 Fri 23-Dec-22 07:33:05

If you have even a basic contact with GS mum then I would try to cement that and make it grow totally on her terms. She may be very wounded right now and see you as in league with the 'enemy'. Wisdom and gentleness could find a way through for the three of you. I hope so. Treat your son as a totally separate entity as, indeed, he is. Good luck. I feel for you.

Sara1954 Fri 23-Dec-22 06:23:56

Sorry, but in my opinion, just another example of a selfish, uncaring man ready to walk away from his child.
He sounds very unpleasant.

Hetty58 Thu 22-Dec-22 22:25:04

east12, I have one set of grandchildren that I only get to see two or three times a year (in person, not on Zoom) simply because they live a three hour drive away.

When my daughter split from her boyfriend, he saw my grandson regularly. Suddenly, though, he said it upset him too much - so he was thinking about not seeing him again until he was much older.

I was really shocked and said that you can never make up for lost time - and how could he even think about abandoning his own child. He reconsidered and they are close as ever now, in regular contact, despite both parents having new partners and other children.

crazyH Thu 22-Dec-22 22:22:32

What did I just read !!! east12 . Your son doesn’t want contact with his son? It’s so wrong - I am so sad for the child and for you. As TheExwife suggested, try and get in touch with the little boy’s mother and see if you can arrange to see the little one regularly. Even my callous ex-husband wanted to see his children, although it all depended on the whims of his new partner.
Hope you are able to work things out. Good luck !

VioletSky Thu 22-Dec-22 22:10:20

I'm so sorry.

I wish I had some good advice for you but I don't know how you would convince him to love his child.

Theexwife Thu 22-Dec-22 22:01:17

You cannot make him love his son and with his current attitude, it is probably better that he doesn't see him.

He will almost certainly regret his decision in later life but will not realise that now.

Could you contact the mother so that you could see your grandson more often? Completely separate from your son.

It must be a sad situation for you, I do hope it all improves for all concerned.

CanadianGran Thu 22-Dec-22 22:00:19

Oh dear, that is sad. Let your son know you will always be a gran, and are interested in spending time with GS. Can you reach out to the mother directly? Just let her know you don't want to interfere, but would like to spend time with grandson.

Your ex DIL may want nothing to do with the family if there are bad feelings, but try to reassure that you only have the interest of the child in your heart .

I'm afraid to say ultimately it is out of your control, but if you offer love and time it may be accepted with grace.

east12 Thu 22-Dec-22 21:05:50

Hi all
My son is going through a divorce and I have a 4 year old grandson whom I have seen 5 times in the last year, I keep asking my son to set up regular contact with my grandson but he is not bothered as he now has a new partner who is hoping to settle down with, and he says once he has more children he will not bother about his son, I think this is totally wrong, how do I convince him.