Thinking ahead...

Poor you ethelwashere that gives you no time at all. A big skip?
Is your DM still alive?
I couldn't do a thing while DH was alive. He refused to engage in any discussion.
A df whose FiL died has taken 4 years to clear his flat
They wanted to find the right place for the books some of which were hundreds of years old

Worry about it when it happens, it’s just stuff, but it’s his stuff and makes him happy.

I’m facing the same dilemma with my mother who has hoarded all her life. She lived in her home all her life and as granny was a hoarder she kept her things after she died. So I’m facing 2 generations of hoardings but most are rubbish as she did sell some stuff a few years ago and kept the rest. She has pictures on the wall made from birthday cards shoved into a cheap frame that are bursting apart at the seams. Now and again I drop something to break it . She is very crafty and has some lovely wall hangings she has made but I will have to get rid one day. Just another stress for me
However the main worry is that it’s a rented house and I’m only allowed one week to clear it on my own .

Your cartoon description made me laugh Deedaa
DH , also a hoarder, died 2 years ago and I have hardly begun to tackle the mountain of stuff.
I tried selling a few things but it takes me ages to list them and then noone wants them.

A man came to lay loft insulation and found old toys, records and 1960s stuff in the attic.
He says he has a friend who would come and tell me what's valuable.
I told the DC who got very anxious and thought I was being a foolish old person about to be cheated out of their inheritance.
One says he will take the records. result!!

I don't find the process cathartic. I find it depressing and would rather do anything else.

My DH has piles - not the medical variety, piles of papers all over the house, on his desk, beside his desk, on the dining table, beside his dining chair - its drives me mad. I've bought cupboard and shelf units which he has filled with his piles. I hope he goes first because I will have a large bonfire of all his piles. He also has a pile of magazines, around 50? he holds onto in case he is stuck for something to read. If I lay a letter down, I'll never find it again because I. will unwittingly have started another pile - I give up!

Reading this thread makes me
a. Glad I don't have to live with someone else's clutter
b. Realise I am not a hoarder in any shape or form, I love
de-cluttering.

ExperiencedNotOld

I’m an executor dealing with ‘stuff’. What to do with 220 screwdrivers (oh yes) and even more difficult, a classic car. It’s the time involved to pay my father the compliment of respecting his treasures.

Re the Classic Car - Have you seen Bangers & Cash on TV, Yesterday channel? It follows Mathewsons in Yorkshire, a company that auctions classic cars, bikes and memorabilia, they will also collect from sellers.
It is amazing the prices some of these sell for! Worth a look, if only to guage a possible price.

All this "clutter" ends up in large mixed batches in local auction houses where people like me (who know what they are after) hoover it up and make a good living selling it online. One person's clutter is another (collector) persons desirable object.

I used house clearance when my dad died. Easily sorted.

Sorry didn’t realise I had posted this on a thread! I have reported it and it will hopefully get moved

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frogs, thanks ;yes I have and my sons would recommend digitalised. But I like my photos as things which have been lovingly handled in the good old days. Even the cumbersome slides. Also I am not really a fan of tech despite it has been good for me .

Caleo

Barmyoldbat wrote: "My problem is photos I have hundreds and just don’t have the heart to throw them away."

Same here! I once made an effort to destroy some and have regretted it ever since. I once took them out of albums and put them in cardboard boxes and I wish I hadn't. I still have all the transparent colour slides we used to put in a projector and view on a screen that we hung on the wall. I had a few made into prints. I never look at any of them. The old photos occupy three shelves.

Have you ever thought of getting your photos digitalised (if that’s the right word?). As mentioned previously I had all my old photos put onto a memory card/stick. I gave a copy each to my sons and kept one for myself - they look better than the original prints some of which had become faded. It took me ages to sort them out into date order and different sizes. Was a bit concerned they’d get lost in the post (sent them by a private delivery service (not the post office) but they were returned fine in no time. I understand you can get them done at more local places.

I've moved house several times so had to declutter then. I've been here for 17 years now but have only a large cupboard that my friend has asked to be allowed first dibs when I go. My daughter's will be happy about that. There is not much anywhere else and I have tried to clear out most things that I no longer need so hopefully there is not too much work for the family to do when I go.

Barmyoldbat wrote: "My problem is photos I have hundreds and just don’t have the heart to throw them away."

Same here! I once made an effort to destroy some and have regretted it ever since. I once took them out of albums and put them in cardboard boxes and I wish I hadn't. I still have all the transparent colour slides we used to put in a projector and view on a screen that we hung on the wall. I had a few made into prints. I never look at any of them. The old photos occupy three shelves.

Mr i started putting his house in order as soon as was given a devastating diagnosis. He brought everything stored in the attic down, he gifted collections of books to friends. I’m still left with two small bedrooms full of stuff, and thousands of books. I’m going to gift some, charity shop others. I want to reduce the admin, the sorting out for our children

Lululemon

I don't know if I am overthinking this, but it is something that is worrying me. My husband has lots and lots of stuff (hundreds of cameras, hundreds of books and hundreds of cd's)
I am fairly minimalist.
He won't part with anything. If he dies before me I have no idea what I will do with all of his things - quite a few of his cameras are worth thousands of pounds. If I die first I don't think he will part with anything. My daughter is our Executor and it doesn't feel fair to leave all of this to her.
What should I do? I've tried talking to him to no avail.

Maybe if you ask your husband to put a realistic monetary value on his possessions it would help him to realise the scale of what he will be leaving for someone else to deal with, it would also make it easier for his executor to decide how to dispose of his assets.

Barmeyoldbat

Same here with Mr B, all in the loft, including hundreds of football programmes and over 300 medals for running. My problem is photos I have hundreds and just don’t have the heart to throw them away.

When we moved house four years ago I had all my old photos transferred on to a memory stick/CD. They came out looking better than the original photos. I kept one and gave a copy to each of our sons.
I was ruthless and completely gutted our family home of a lot of worthless clutter - I was surprised when the removal men said we hadn’t got much stuff to move.
Unfortunately four years on we are starting to once more accumulate clutter, I really must have another clear out but it’s difficult when there’s no reason to do it. 🤔.

When my husband died I then discovered why he didn't like me going in the garage - he'd hoarded there - and in the woodshed! The children had what they wanted, a skip took care of the junk, tools - including 50 screwdrivers - went to a recycling place that refurbished them to go to Africa, ditto computer parts that are used and sold to help fund the refurbishment, his radio ham equipment including the 12ft high aerial outside a window to a local ham club, his clothes to the Salvation Army (he approved of their work), my lovely neighbours each had something (though the wives made sure the husbands weren't adding too much to THEIR hoards!) I still have an electric bike I can't ride myself, and several large tools that pre pandemic I was going to sell but now can't be bothered. There were bits and pieces I thought might be useful but 4 years on, if I haven't used them, they will go to recycle or landfill. Saying all this, I need to sort my own books and photos, currently sorting the flowerpots!

I saw a wonderful cartoon that summed the whole thing up. A man and his son standing looking at a garage stuffed to the rafters with stuff. "One day" says the father "All this will be yours my boy"

Since DH died and entire chest of drawers full of electrical leads and circuit boards has vanished and DS has even made a bit of headway in the garage. It's 25 years since my mother died and I have finally got round to sending her bits of silver to an auction but I've got boxes of stuff belonging to my in laws that nobody is going to want now and they will have to go.

I hope that my children will keep at least some of my books.There are also some drawings and etchings that will be worth a little, I should really be making a list. I've also got a collection of Biba makeup and ephemera that hopefully won't just go to landfill.

My father recently passed away and had managed to acquire hordes of stuff over the years. I can’t fathom why people like to hoard loads of leads and electrical stuff! My mother refuses to part with anything and every cupboard, drawer and shelf is full of more stuff. The house is now a tripping hazard and a danger. In the end it is the persons choice.

Mokryna = I love to watch the Auction House with Angus the Auctioneer, he's not to far away from where i live so i might have to give him a call one day :-)

One friend remarked that if her DC were going to inherit her valuable property, they could jolly well get on with it.

I have been an executor three times… I am now determined not to leave a mess for anyone to sort out. Basically, it is selfish to expect other people to sort out your stuff after you die… sorry to be so blunt, but I speak from having had my life taken over for years by other people’s stuff several times!

I agree paypens1
Relatives take what they want, the rest goes to charity and what’s left to clearance or a skip.
Enjoy all your stuff.