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Wedding invite

(87 Posts)
Ysiad Tue 17-Jan-23 14:55:31

My nephew has invited husband and me to his wedding. The ceremony is at 12.30 for 1pm and the wedding breakfast is at 4 pm followed by disco until 12. I don't think I can last that long. We are both in our mid 70's

Is it rude to go to the wedding breakfast and stay for the evening which ends at 12 midnight? Thereby missing the ceremony and the photos. Its rural and no accomodation nearby when we can have a rest without taxi there and back due to drinking and driving. All advice helpful thanks.

pascal30 Sun 22-Jan-23 15:49:08

Quite...

Brismum Sun 22-Jan-23 15:18:13

Ysiad doesn’t seem to be responding to this thread!

1987H2001M2002Inanny Sun 22-Jan-23 14:35:35

Ysiad....It seems theres a long time gap between ceremony and wedding breakfast,even allowing for photos.The guests will be hungry and thirsty! I would go to the ceremony then have a flask of tea/coffee and some biscuits in the car on the way to venue.

Eloethan Sun 22-Jan-23 10:54:30

I think it would seem rather rude to opt for the eating and social part of the day whilst excluding the most important part - the wedding ceremony.

If it were me, I would just leave the evening event early.

happycatholicwife1 Sat 21-Jan-23 19:15:10

You are there to witness their marriage, as someone said, and, in gratitude, they invited you to share their meal. It would be terribly rude to skip the important part, and just show up for food, drinks, and dancing. As I tell my grandchildren, it's about the marriage, not about the wedding.

HelenAylward15 Sat 21-Jan-23 14:57:52

Surely the most important thing is the ceremony? You can pace yourself through the wedding itself and the photos, enjoy food and then slip away before you get too tired. I'm sure they would understand that.
Usually family and closest friends are invited to the breakfast and other friends to the evening party, so I would regard it as an honour to have been invited.

Keekaboo Fri 20-Jan-23 20:06:42

Go you will regret it if you don’t. I am 69 and we went to our oldest friends’ son’s wedding in June 2022. Ceremony at 12.30 much the same as what you describe. Plus a live group and a disco…I LOVE a disco ! We stayed in the hotel the ceremony and party was taking place in the night before and the night of the wedding too . It was fantastic and well worth the cost. We laughed from when we arrived until we got home. Wonderful wedding. You should go.

ElaineRI55 Fri 20-Jan-23 19:26:09

It's usually relatives and very close friends invited to the ceremony and breakfast, with extra friends sometimes invited just for the disco part. The bride and groom may be offended if you don't attend the ceremony to share their special moment - even if no offence was intended and you're delighted to share the rest of the day with them. They may feel there were other friends they could have had there instead, if it didn't seem important to you to attend the ceremony. For their sake - I would go to the ceremony and leave whenever you get tired in the evening.

Nanny123 Fri 20-Jan-23 17:14:16

I would go to the ceremony and wedding breakfast and leave early - they are the best bits of a wedding.

notgoneyet Fri 20-Jan-23 16:39:42

*pascal30

I think this is a spoof*

Why do you think that?

pascal30 Fri 20-Jan-23 16:22:50

I think this is a spoof

DeeDe Fri 20-Jan-23 16:07:30

I would goto the ceremony and leave around 9pm
Bit rude to just turn up for the Wedding Breakfast imo

FannyCornforth Fri 20-Jan-23 15:34:17

Sacha, they do intend to stay for a dance, the op said that it’s her favourite part

FannyCornforth Fri 20-Jan-23 15:33:09

Further to my earlier answer, if you really don’t want to go to the ceremony (which it seems that you don’t), don’t go to the Wedding Breakfast either.
Just the disco.
Otherwise it just looks like free loading.

Has the op actually come back?
These threads make me wonder, they really do

SachaMac Fri 20-Jan-23 15:24:50

Definitely go to the ceremony, that is the most important part. It’s a pity there’s no accommodation close by as you could have gone for a nap and recharged, this is what my mum did at my sons wedding but then we all had rooms at the venue. See how you’re feeling as the day and night progress, you might get a second wind and manage to stay for a dance.

GoldenAge Fri 20-Jan-23 15:10:42

It would be rude - it looks as though your interest is purely in the food/beverage and the socialising rather than in the wedding of the two young people. Presumably as family members you would feature on the large family photograph after the wedding - it would be very obvious what choice you had made. I would go to the wedding, the breakfast, and manage as much of the rest of the day as you can before leaving.

Alverstone25 Fri 20-Jan-23 14:51:43

mousemac

Think it would be rude to skip the ceremony.

I'd opt for the ceremony and nosh.

Why would you want to go to a disco in your mid 70s?

Exactly as above.. I’m sure it will not come as a surprise for the couple to see many of the older guests leaving around 8 or 9

Kim19 Fri 20-Jan-23 14:04:58

I'm with the majority in that I think the formalities far outweigh the social side. However, having said that, you might find your pleasure in the evening disco stimulates you enough to carry on longer than you imagine. Certainly hope so. Good luck and enjoy.

Brismum Fri 20-Jan-23 13:54:47

I would do the ceremony and some of the 4pm start leaving about 8 or 9pm but that’s your choice. You don’t say whether things are taking place in two venues or just one. What are the bride and groom and others doing after the disco? More information needed really before I can make a more considered suggestion. Some people only get asked for the evening!

Danma Fri 20-Jan-23 13:45:05

I’m in the process of issuing invites to a wedding and would think it terribly rude if any of our guests just turned up for the food and dancing

mousemac Fri 20-Jan-23 13:41:52

Think it would be rude to skip the ceremony.

I'd opt for the ceremony and nosh.

Why would you want to go to a disco in your mid 70s?

4allweknow Fri 20-Jan-23 13:35:38

Ceremony and wedding breakfast are surely the most important parts of the day. If I felt I would be struggling I'd either leave after the breakfast or the party early. 4 pm breakfast - disco won't start until at least 6 pm and no doubt there will be a little supper midway to midnight. I'd make up my mind and if not attending the party or leaving early I'd let your nephew know so they don't pay a service charge for you.

Daftbag1 Fri 20-Jan-23 13:35:23

As a diabetic I need to eat at regular times, at weddings with timetables like this I go to it all. But I take a sandwich to eat whilst awaiting the meal!

ParlorGames Fri 20-Jan-23 13:32:45

I doubt that your nephew would expect everyone to stay the course until midnight to be honest, particularly those in their senior years.
You have been invited to his wedding so I think it is appropriate to go to the ceremony and the wedding breakfast and then leave the venue at a respectable time. Certainly no need to stay all night.

Tanjamaltija Fri 20-Jan-23 13:14:46

The ceremony, of course, is the most important part, not the eating... so attend that, and something before or after it.