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Gift for daughter on her first mothers day

(36 Posts)
love2travel Fri 03-Mar-23 22:50:12

Am I odd in wanting to mark my daughters first Mother’s Day? If no

Hi
It is my daughters first Mother’s Day and I would like to mark this special occasion. Is this odd ? (She is not my mother!)

CanadianGran Wed 08-Mar-23 18:15:55

I think it's a lovely gesture. A small photo frame or something to commemorate her becoming a mum. I personally wouldn't do it every year, but to celebrate your daughter's new status is touching.

Mama2020 Wed 08-Mar-23 18:03:38

Wouldn’t be odd here in the US. Sounds like a lovely gesture! Mother’s Day seems to be a little different here, though.

I would’ve appreciated a gift certificate for a mani/pedi or a shoulder massage. And to be completely honest, I would’ve most appreciated permission to stay home and relax, rather than running to our own mothers’ homes.

Bridgeit Sat 04-Mar-23 16:21:34

Not odd, but better to ask her if it is something that she would like to do .

VioletSky Sat 04-Mar-23 16:09:45

Yes, it's a large part of our identity

NotSpaghetti Sat 04-Mar-23 15:57:16

Violet
It's very personal I think.

I suppose it's the long path of time... it's a continuum so there may be changes...

Schools are perhaps helping the children celebrate their mother (or the mothering person in their lives?

VioletSky Sat 04-Mar-23 14:53:51

I just don't understand it NotSpaghetti

People seem to feel very strongly but I don't understand why

Even schools help celebrate mothers day and quite a few put on tea parties and things like that

Why would more celebration be a bad thing?

Norah Sat 04-Mar-23 14:49:46

Life just can't have too many sweet pressies. The more the better.

JaneJudge Sat 04-Mar-23 14:45:32

I buy my Mum and Mum in law gifts and my children buy me gifts. I don't think it needs to exclude anyone. I have just realised my Mum usually gives me something small too smile

NotSpaghetti Sat 04-Mar-23 14:40:09

Some of us Violet (I suppose I mean me!) don't "find mothers day sacred to themselves as mothers" but do think it's a day to thank those who have mothered us. So I think if I'd (for example) been mothered by a friend of the family, then I'd be more inclined to celebrate that person.

I'd like to think that it's a day for my daughters' children to make a little gesture towards their mothers. If they are too tiny to see how lovely their mums are I'd hope the dads/partner can help them.
If no dad/partner then I may step in as someone said above.

I know it's not about me - And as I'm lucky that I know I'm loved anyway it's not a big deal tbh.

Grannybags Sat 04-Mar-23 14:39:36

I don't have daughters but don't think I would have done it. I don't for my DiL

Once our children were old enough to buy their own Mother's Day gifts for me I told my DH not to buy me anything as I am not his Mother!

VioletSky Sat 04-Mar-23 14:29:57

Maybe some people find mothers day sacred to themselves as mothers

I feel its more a day to be shared

My daughters becoming mothers will be such a special thing and I think parenting young children and the sleepless nights and busy days will mean they deserve much more of a fuss than me

I will have already reaped my reward by then having successfully raised my own children

JaneJudge Sat 04-Mar-23 13:57:24

I think it is a lovely idea too

Judy54 Sat 04-Mar-23 13:55:44

I think it is a wonderful idea and shows what a caring and loving Mother and Grandmother you are. Don't understand why some people find it strange.

eazybee Sat 04-Mar-23 13:05:03

Give your daughter and partner a gift on Grandparents Day (a commercial invention) to thank them for making you a grandparent, rather than trying to muscle in on Mothering Sunday.

Hetty58 Sat 04-Mar-23 11:41:36

I think presents are often mainly about the giver - wanting to give - rather than the receiver. I wouldn't have liked my Mum to interfere.

Theexwife Sat 04-Mar-23 10:47:13

I think the partner may want it to be them that organises something from their child if they are around.

If you are buying something from yourself and not on behalf of the child that would different, although cards are usually geared towards mothers from their children.

Personally, I think it is odd but each to their own.

Calipso Sat 04-Mar-23 10:32:23

I think its a really lovely idea love2travel
Motherhood is something to be cherished and celebrated in all its forms. Unfortunately in our society it is hugely undervalued.

When my first grandchild was born, my son in law went to the florists and asked them to make up a posy of really tiny flowers to give to my daughter for her first mothers day. It was the sweetest thing and she was absolutely thrilled. If its your thing, silverlining's idea of a letter to your daughter would be wonderful

rafichagran Sat 04-Mar-23 10:25:47

I dont find it strange I think it's a lovely idea. How about a pamper present, perfume or lotions she likes.
Ignore posters who think it's weird, they only say that because they would not do it. As for back of please, what a stupid comment,you are not overstepping you are just making her first Mothers day special.
You are her Mother, perhaps arrange a nice thing to do together after Mothering Sunday, you will both enjoy that.

silverlining48 Sat 04-Mar-23 10:07:47

I think its a nice idea, especially as its your dd first mothering Sunday. A photo of her and her child in a nice frame, or even with you in it too, three generations etc, might be nice. How about a letter to your dd telling her about you and her as a baby. Something to keep.

Redhead56 Sat 04-Mar-23 10:06:27

A treat on Mothers Day for DD or DIL is a very nice gesture. I spoil mine all year around as I appreciate them.

Yammy Sat 04-Mar-23 09:30:26

It's a good idea for you if you want to do it.
Though I think it is a bad idea if it catches on commercially and we have yet another day of Commercialism, expensive cards flowers etc. We are getting like the Americans.
It's your daughter and her family's day, not yours, mine would be cross if I muscled in as they have cut back on celebrations of a monetary kind. DH can afford a bunch of Daffodils from the supermarket parents or mother sends a huge bunch from a florist, how will he feel?

Patsy70 Sat 04-Mar-23 08:43:05

You go ahead love2travel, it’s such a lovely idea. Lunch with your daughter and grandchild sounds perfect, but whatever you decide she will appreciate it. My grandchildren also give me cards and my children give me Father’s Day cards, as I brought them up on my own. If that’s odd, I really don’t’t care! 😊

MercuryQueen Sat 04-Mar-23 08:00:21

I think flowers and a card would be lovely (or whatever her favourite indulgence is). Or a trip for some pampering, like a haircut or manicure. You can do it before or after the actual Mother’s Day, so as not to mess with any plans her partner (if applicable) may have.

I think it’s a fantastic idea, and have never understood the one way nature a lot of people have toward Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. I always thought it was to celebrate the mothers in your life that are close (emotionally) to you. That’s why I always balk at, “She’s not my mother!” attitude I’ve seen from partners to justify not doing squat for the mothers of their children.

Calendargirl Sat 04-Mar-23 07:48:12

Why don’t you book a lovely mums lunch for you both to share with grandchild?

What about your daughter’s husband/partner, I’m assuming there is one? Is he to be allowed to attend the lunch? And if the GC is quite small, he/she won’t remember a thing about it. Surely it’s up to the baby’s dad to sort out the card/gift/treat?
Probably doesn’t want MIL muscling in on the first Mother’s Day.

Back off please.

VioletSky Sat 04-Mar-23 00:54:10

I think this is lovely

When I became a mother, my mum still wanted a big fuss every mothers day and I found myself never really having any part of it for myself

When my daughters have children, I plan to make sure they get a lovely day. It's so special when children are small

Why don't you book a lovely mums lunch for you both to share with grandchild? I'd have loved that