Is this a life?

How would you feel if he got injured? Or died?

I think it is a life.
Some people separate but dont divorce.

I know exactly what you're talking about, as it could pretty much describe my life too. I guess if you are both contented enough and not particularly bothered by it, then there's no real issue.

Not sure if it an age thing. Perhaps others on here might know.
It may be part of it?
When did it all happen? After the menopause?

You seem content enough? I am guessing he is content enough?

I'm sure a lot of couples end up like that. You start off as lovers, then spend decades as sensible bread winners and parents, the children leave - and you can't get back to being lovers again. You're just not the same people.

If you're generally happy, secure and content, perhaps that's enough. If you're deeply unhappy, you might leave. Maybe you'd prefer being alone or with somebody else? It could, perhaps, be a risk worth taking.

Why not ask him how he feels about the situation? A chap at work said the love had gone from his marriage. He felt incredibly lonely - but would never upset his kids by leaving.

He fancied a 'little fling'. I said 'No, thanks' - being past the menopause and no longer interested (at all). It simply hadn't occurred to him that his feelings might change dramatically if he became involved with another woman - typical!

Marriages have their ups and downs, but you seem to consciously or unconsciously have grown into living side by side instead of together. You say that you don't know what he feels about it, so maybe now is the time to ask him how he sees the future. If you eat your (different) meals together, then that could be a time to raise the subject gently?

Once you have agreed what you both would like the future to be, then you can start to work towards it, counselling together or independently could form a part of it to help you decide?