Unflattering photo of me on Facebook

Join the club. Know just how you feel. The first time I saw myself in a really unflattering photo I thought well the only option was to be extra nice so perhaps others will ignore the ugly old woman I now am.

Thanks again, everyone. Really helpful replies. I don’t know the rules (if indeed there are any) about posting photos of other people on Facebook, but I shall be more cautious in future and ask, should a camera be pointed at me, “will you be posting this photo(s) on Facebook? If so, leave me out of the photo thanks”. I just think that these photos are taken, at an event, and posted without another thought by anyone who cares to do so. I don’t like it, it’s an imposition, to me at least. I’m a private person and I don’t want to appear on Facebook! Especially as I’m not photogenic. I certainly don’t want to stop going out to events, I’m a sociable, friendly person, but I just want to chat to people on the night, and leave it at that - no unflattering photos on FB thank you! It’s my Achilles heel, having my photo taken. I can’t seem to smile naturally and appear “odd” on photos.

I quit FB about seven years ago, not because of pictures but what was starting to transpire on social media - hacking, misinformation, unsavory comments, idiotic attention seekers… it’s not just about how many “likes” or friends you can grab. For some it can have an unsettling effect, as you well experienced.

Best move ever!!!
Cheers
USA Gundy

Did your colleague ask if she could post the photo on FB. No-one can post a photo of anyone without permission, so in future ensure you stay out of photos or tell friends you do not want to be on FB or anywhere else.
Having said that as already said it is a bit late now and only you will think like that,no one else will notice what you look like as they are too busy looking at themselves. The photo may however pop up next year and the year after as that is what happens on FB (Memories) so if it really worries you that much just ask her kindly to remove it. You could say you know you are being silly but prefer it not be to on there. Don't have to give any further reason. (I am sure you look just lovely anyway) If you look good in the mirror you must be lovely because the mirror is very unkind to most of us at it reflects everything, I have a lot of scars and look just awful in the m
irror and to me on photos, but everyone says I take a lovely photo!!

I've never bothered too much about whether pictures of me are flattering or otherwise, but then I'm a bloke. Perhaps the way to deal with it, if you REALLY can't let it go, is to take loads of pictures yourself of everybody there. There's bound to be at least one or two really dreadful ones with which you can threaten the guilty by sending them to them and telling them they have two days to take the ones of you down or these are going up too

Oh, I also hate photos of me. I’m just not photogenic. I always look odd. It’s not how I think I look.
But people may not think you look awful. Not sure it can be taken down, but it’s worth asking.

Surely she should have told you it was going on Facebook.? If not she's out of order. I would ask for it to be taken down if you never gave her permission !!.

I have a "friend" who will use the worst photo of me to upload onto Facebook. She'll take the worst angle or zoom in on my wrinkles..its kinda passive aggressive in my book. I belive she only does it because it gives her a kick or she is a dick...one of the two!!! I don't post on FB but if I do, I wouldn't dream of putting anything out there m
That might embarrass or make anyone feel uncomfortable .. why would you?

A while ago someone posted a photo of a group I am in and unfortunately caught me with my back to the camera bending down. The size of my backside looked phenomenal. But then, that is the reality I’m afraid to say!

Diplomat

I had a photo taken of me in my dressing gown with my granddaughter which my DiL put online. I was not happy about. I usually dress first thing but got up at some unearthly hour to be with my granddaughter, thinking I was helping. I won't be doing it again! Just a thought Honeyrose, maybe practise a camera smile you're happy with in front of a mirror to help for the future and don't worry, it's what we are inside that counts.

But no pouting please!

Everyone looks better in real life if they are moving, when you are frozen in time you don't have the life in you.
Console yourself with the fact that people will quickly recognise you in the photo but then move on to the next one, they won't analyse it in the way that you do yourself.
I hate having my photo taken, I always think I look awful but in reality I probably just look like that!

Some years ago I was looking at a photo of me and moaning that I looked fat. My then teenage son said, No you don’t, you look mum- size. I’ve never forgotten that loving comment 😊

honeyrose!
Everybody knows that photos can be REALLY unflattering and have nothing to do with the actual person. ALWAYS blame the photographer!!!
On a more general note; shouldn't it be the rule that anyone taking photos should check with everyone that they agree to their photo being posted? I don't do social media ( other than Gransnet) so am not au fait with the 'rules.

I had a photo taken of me in my dressing gown with my granddaughter which my DiL put online. I was not happy about. I usually dress first thing but got up at some unearthly hour to be with my granddaughter, thinking I was helping. I won't be doing it again! Just a thought Honeyrose, maybe practise a camera smile you're happy with in front of a mirror to help for the future and don't worry, it's what we are inside that counts.

Philippa111

People are usually far too busy looking at their own photos and not liking them that I'm sure they will hardly notice yours.

And in any case we all know how people actually look.

At the very worst they might say it was an unflattering photo of you.

Just let it go if you can.

Exactly what I was thinking. I have been tagged in Facebook photos that seem to add at least five stones to me. I am not at all photogenic. However,almost everyone I know feels the same way about themselves. I think British people are awkward about drawing attention to themselves at the best of times, which is why we find it so difficult to pose for photos. A Facebook post is generally here today, gone tomorrow so my advice would be to try and forget the photo but remember what a lovely time you had.

Hetty58

honeyrose, ask yourself who will see it - apart from those who've already taken a look. I think you'd just be making a big fuss about nothing if you asked for it to be removed. Surely, that's potentially more embarrassing?

My (short, chubby) friend is always hiding behind somebody else in group photographs, often with a really silly, funny expression on her face. Who, exactly, is she hiding from? Only herself, as we all know what she looks like anyway. We do love her - but she makes such a fool of herself with this vanity.

I don't think it's vanity to not want my photo taken. For some people, it's a case of cripplingly low self-esteem or self-confidence.

I had this a while back I don’t actually ever post photos of myself or anyone, I know on Facebook so I was upset. The photo was horrible yet the ones on my phone were ok. I asked for the photo to be taken down. The person came back to me and said maybe what you see is not what I see which really made me think. I don’t think other see what we see. I pointed out that my first husband was very violent and I had moved away from him and never out photos on Facebook. She removed it right away , but had she not I would have reported it to Facebook. She probably doesn’t see the photo in the same was as you do, but she should have asked you, however you could also let people know you do not want your photo taken .

I never post photos of anyone on fb without asking them first. Only courteous.

honeyrose, ask yourself who will see it - apart from those who've already taken a look. I think you'd just be making a big fuss about nothing if you asked for it to be removed. Surely, that's potentially more embarrassing?

My (short, chubby) friend is always hiding behind somebody else in group photographs, often with a really silly, funny expression on her face. Who, exactly, is she hiding from? Only herself, as we all know what she looks like anyway. We do love her - but she makes such a fool of herself with this vanity.

Exude not exclude !

PinkCosmos mentioned Marilyn Monroe .
Eve Arnold took many photographs of her and said that she had had a golden glow ( I can't recall her exact expression ) .
It meant that she photographed well .

I thought the same of Diana ,The Princess of Wales .
I met her at a cocktail party and later at a concert .
Wearing a simple suit - she seemed to exclude a golden glow

Today I took a photo of myself on my laptop.
So I was looking at myself, as in a mirror, to start with, then immediately looking at the same as if from another person's viewpoint.
I was amazed how different it was.

I hate every photo of me and have asked family to take photos down in the past. I have never had the guts to ask a friend or colleague to do so though.
As I have got older though, I realise everyone will only be looking at themselves in those photos, and probably hating themselves too, so I worry less.

Recently I have looked back at photos I hated when I was in my 30’s/40’s.
I now realise I was not fat. And I was not ugly. I really wish I could have liked myself more when I was back then
Especially now I am fat (confirmed by gym body analysis ) and certainly losing those youthful looks!

DD is a professional photographer so if I need a good photo I ask her. Her expensive lenses can do wonders with the light and with skin tones 😍
She also has a good eye, a wealth of experience and she knows how upset I'd be if she took an awful photo.

My trouble is I never “pose” for photos. I have friends who look lovely on photos but one turns sideways on and does a big smile that shows all her teeth. Another stands slightly to one side and positions her feet carefully.

I just stand straight on and hope for the best. I have a small mouth and even when I do a big smile you can’t really see my teeth. I usually look like I have escaped from somewhere. 🤣