Son splitting up with partner

I think the best advice you can give is to advise him to go to a solicitor to sort things out properly

I wouldn’t give any advice, he may say to her ‘my mum said…’

He really needs legal advice if they cannot come to an agreement together.

They may get back together so try not to say anything negative about her.

May I ask if he has asked for advice?

If not, please stand back and let him navigate the breakup

I’m afraid you can’t do this for him escudo. Please advise your son to seek legal advice or visit the CAB for professional advice to navigate the storms ahead. When a child is involved it is in my view essential and the sooner the better. Our son was seriously disadvantaged because he didn’t do this soon enough.

Be there for him, for emotional support. But the rest must be sorted by a Solicitor.

Echo what crazyH says - it's all you can do.

Thank you. He’s really young and has been coerced a lot so my support is essential. We are speaking to a solicitor tomorrow and obviously that is essential too. I just wondered if there was anywhere to read up a bit in advance as well as the CAB site. Thank you all once again. As a mum I’m heartbroken x

How old is really young ?

Op,

What has your son asked from you?

Don't let your broken heart make this even more difficult

It’s a very sad and worrying time escudo. I’m pleased you will be getting legal advice. Please care for yourself as well as for your son. It will be hard for you too.

I wouldn't be tempted to give him any advice, as it's up to him and his wife to navigate their way through this. As regards her alleged threats and abusive behaviour, he needs to speak to a solicitor about this. Stay out of it, and just be there for emotional support.

The best thing you can do for him is empower him to seek legal advice and just be an ear. Let him navigate this break up himself. Things can get messy when there are too many parties involved. They made a child together, so they must figure out themselves what co-parenting will look like. I’m afraid you will risk complicating the situation for the child if you take too much of an active role. However young, he is still an adult. Best to embrace that. Be his shoulder to cry on. Let him vent. But do not function as though his break up were your own.

I have sent you a private message.

I agree with others, stay out and just be an emotional support. Keep your communication with DIL positive and away from their relationship

You are going to get your fingers burnt too close to this fire. You have no idea what has been happening in that household and this could go any direction. If they end up back together you you may find yourself being the one frozen out

Is it his house too that he has moved out of? She can’t prevent him access. I would tell him (if she’s that bad) to take a trusted family member (or 2) with him to collect his things (she can’t prevent him access) and video it - let her know immediately that it is being videoed for use in court and tell him to get his stuff quickly and quietly then leave. If she goes wild, let her get on with it or call the police. As for the money, CMS will organise that and he won’t pay 50% it’s more like 25% but he doesn’t have to pay a penny more towards housing etc. that’s what she gets and that is it. You could maybe ring the non-emergency police force for advice re his things and explain she is abusive and ask the best way to get his stuff if she is refusing.

tell him not to sign anything at all. he still has to support his self. to sign half his wage away is too much.. yes get legal advice.

Escudo seems to have disappeared for about 10 days !!
Perhaps the problem is solved

Having been through something similar with my youngest. Tell him to grab what is important to him don’t sign anything she says she is just trying to control him still be there for him he’s going to tell you stuff you probably won’t have heard before about her. Seek legal advice. She will get benefits if she isn’t working and will use the child as a weapon. You can even ask the police to meet at the house so she can’t stop him from getting his stuff. Unfortunately in my case my sons ex was a nightmare and lost contact with my Gd she was 5 then she is 12 now. My son ex she did all the same threats I didn’t realise just how bad it was until he sat down and told me I just knew he was losing loads of weight and wasn’t happy and I said to him you will always have a home with me and I will always make room for you’s. He’s now happy with someone else.

He can ask the police to be there to help him remove items safely if he fears a breach of the peace.
He must be open with them about his fears (and the controlling behaviour) and say he is being prevented from getting his things (if that is what he wants to do).
The police are no longer allowed to assume that the party requesting assistance is the "victim" in a situation so he must not angry when they go to the property.

The police will help if they can.
He should ask them when they are more likely to be less busy and have an officer available (obviously things happen so he should be prepared to wait).

I have done this as a support for both women and men. It's reassuring to have a police officer present as there may be someone else at the property such as a father/brother/new lover.