Stepgrandparents

Well how nice to be asked as to your role for the forthcoming baby.

When my step-daugher came to see me and dad (my husband) and told us there was a baby on the way I said "Oh I am going to be step-grandma" and she corrected me by saying "No, you are going to be Grandma" I was thrilled to bits not having had any children of my own.

It seems she wants you involved, my DiL asked what I wanted to be called but not Grandma as her Mom was already Grandma to other GC. I am Nanna and there’s only one of me… and Step Grandmother is Nanny (she was Nanny to her other GC). Given that she suggested Nanna/Nan it could be that her Mom has already got hers picked. 3 Grandfathers 2 are Grandad name, hubby is Grandad… Enjoy

My daughters little boy calls my husband Grandad.

She doesn't have regular contact with her own father but she does have good contact with her paternal grandparents. Consequently DGS calls all his male grandparents/step grandparents and great grandparents Grandad. He knows he's a lucky boy to have so much love and support, and he never seems to get confused with all his Grandads!

I am a step grandma and I’m called Sam as that is my name (we are grandad and Sam) please don’t get caught up in a name as it’s the relationship with your step children and grandchildren that’s important.

Pinkj, you sound very kind and thoughtful. And you are so right, names can be so important. For example I read on another GN or MN post a few years ago where the extended family split over the choice of who used which names, ie nana or grandma. Presumably there was more of a back story, but I was so sad to read of that rift.

As I be said before, I married a widower with three teenage children, and I’ve always been, I hope, sensitive about inadvertent ‘toe treading’. Sometimes it’s unavoidable as we all go into relationships without knowing the whole story of each person, but hopefully by being kind, we can overcome some potential pitfalls.

And RosieBee, you also seem fabulous and considerate, and I really, really love your ‘lovelies’!

🌷

OH is a step grandfather to my grandchildren, they just call him by his first name and I am grandma. My daughter also calls him by his first name, it's very uncomplicated.

Just a small thought, when my daughter was 3, I had her brother. She was realizing Mama was also called Sue and started mixing it in her speech. My mother had a fit, "she shouldn't call you by your name." I actually thought she sounded cute. But I said, " I don't care what she calls me so long as she does it with love." Today I'm Zuzu," for Grandma.

I have a step grandson and when he was born I was asked what name I wanted. The mums of my stepson and his wife had already chosen Granny and Nan. I opted for my real name. Whilst I am close to the little fella, I'd prefer to be called Nan when or if my son has children.

Sorry- that last post of mine sounds a little confusing. To be clear, DGD is 31 and mother of DGGD who is 16 months.

My DGD has two stepmothers - my DS's past and present wives. She has good relationships with both. At the moment they are both known as 'Grandma' and DS is 'Grandad'. though DGGD may have different plans when she starts talking properly- currently experimenting with a combination of her own language and 'Mum', 'Dad' and 'No'. I am the GGM which would be a bit of a mouthful so am hoping she will just call me 'Granny'.

My partner’s daughter had a baby 2 years ago (so she’s not legally my stepdaughter). She asked me what I wanted to be called and suggested some names. My name is now Nana…….. (Christian name). Your stepdaughter is trying to include you so let her take the lead and chose a name she has suggested for you. I did this and it is working out great.

When I became a Nanna to my granddaughter, when she was 02 years old, she decided I would be Daddy Nanna and her mum's mum would be Mummy Nanna......Sorted

I'm a step granny. I didn't feel comfortable using a traditional name as I was always worried that someone would call me out for not being a "real" nan. Being Welsh I decided on the Welsh Nain, pronounced nine. When young my lovelies would call me Nainy and on cards and notes I often signed myself as 9E, still do. Whatever you choose will be fine. It's been such a blessing in my life as I didn't have any children of my own. It's the relationship that really matters and the fact that their mum is including you and yours is a great starting point. Enjoy it

I'm a step grandmother through husbands numbers 1 and 2; Granny Pen50 to all concerned, crochet blankets for the births, and decent gifts for all birthdays and Christmases. Now hoping that my own children will spawn sooner rather than later!

Husband and I have 5 adult children between us, but so far just the one grandson, my step-daughter’s beautiful son. Her dad and I got together years after her parents split up (Mum’s decision), and she was almost 11 when we first met. Always Granny as soon as she was pregnant, not differences between me or her step Dad, who is Grandad, her Mum was Nanny and my husband Grampa and her partners Mum Nan - we’ve always felt like an important part of her family.

I never met my paternal grandmother (lots of rifts in family) so the only grandmother I ever knew was Nan or Nanna. My cousins (who knew their paternal grandmother) called them both Granny (surname) to distinguish between them.

The little Ukrainian girl who was living with my son's family called us Nana One and Nana Two. Thankfully I didn't at all mind being Nana Two! But, and I know this doesn't reflect well on me, I do struggle with the thought of my son's birth mother, who has recently come into his life, being called Nana by my grandchildren.

She is including you and yours and you should embrace it as it’s a compliment.

It’s just who I am as a person

Pinkj

I hope so. Gosh, families are so complicated!

Yes, families are complicated Pinkj but you seem determined to make this complicated when it's not.

You're being totally included, and I'm not being funny but I don't know why you're seeing problems where none exist.

We did agree on Nanny <<my name>>

My daughter is a step grandparent. The children call her Granny A. Their parents call her by her given name A

I hope so. Gosh, families are so complicated!

She sounds really positive about your role. That's an excellent start

It’s unlikely that their grandmother and my paths will cross, so I doubt it’ll be an issue, but who knows. My own children aren’t very young, they are 13 and 16, so it’s unlikely there’ll be any more grandchildren for a while! It sounds like it’s going to be as complicated as I’m expecting it to be, really. I suppose the advice from this is just to step back and see what role she wants us all to play, if any.