15 minutes of fame

Many, many years ago, in a moment of teenage angst whilst having a row with my Dad, I threw at him that I wantd to BE someone, not like him - what had he ever achieved?? d He hesitated for a moment and then replied quietly ' Well, I raised you'. Shut me up!!!!

So often I think I will respond to a poster on here, and get half way through and realise I don't really have anything worth saying. I've done loads in my life that was never expected of me, reached positions in employment that I could never have dreamed of, but now at 72 the greatest thing of all to me is my two daughters, sons in law and grandchildren. We are all still friends and doing okay. All that other stuff is largely irrelevant now.

I'm another who finds comfort in that final paragraph of Middlemarch, my favourite book.
When I was young, maybe 22, I thought the ending was a bit weak. Now that I can see 80 coming up, with a fairly undistinguished life to look back on, I find it extraordinarily wise.
Most of us are part of an army of women like Dorothea, the heroine of Middlemarch.

I was recently having the same thoughts - wondering exactly what I had achieved. Then my son received a very important award. The details were online to which he replied if it hadn't been for his mum and dad who gave love and support he would never have received this award. A proud moment for us and a boost for us in our seventies.

Yes, and it's called a funeral. Don't rush towards it!

Skydancer that is lovely - a joy to read.

To me, raising a family of four well and admirably (no one called you from jail, right?) who go on to have their own children is the biggest accomplishment a mother can do!

Your journey to overcome stage 4 cancer for ten years shows your strength, courage and positive attitude. What a wonderful example you are for others!

You are lucky. It’s all about gratitude.
USA Gundy

This is a beautiful poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
What is Success?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tricia2. Firstly, you are special. A mother, wife and grandmother. That’s a great achievement in itself.
I’m sure most of us feel that every one else appears to have so much more going on in their lives, leaving us feeling that we’ve somehow underachieved. I know I do at times!
I think with your ongoing health issues, you’re doing amazingly well. 🌻🌻🌻

I get exactly where you are coming from.
Having very recently celebrated a big birthday I always look in the Announcements section of the newspaper to see who is a similar age and note they are Head of this, Chair of that, Professor of...... etc, and wonder how 'they' managed to get to Uni, when it just wasn't an option for me after A levels.
Ahh, but I think, are they as happy and content as I am with my lovely life and family

LovesBach

Reading these replies made me think of the last words of 'Middlemarch'; they are profound, and speak for those of us who feel we do nothing exceptional:

'For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

I found, and find still, great comfort in these lovely words.

One of my favourite quotes too. We are all special in our own unique way.

All of you are so thoughtful to take the time to share your advice, quotes, poems and friendly humor. I’m so grateful for your caring, lovely responses.

Being an 'average' person is still an achievement - and quite enough. In fact, I'm always surprised by just how many people cope so well with life.

There are so many barriers to leap, challenges to overcome, trials and tests just in everyday existence. Coping with ill health and bringing up a family are far harder than managing '15 minutes of fame' I'm sure.

Reading these replies made me think of the last words of 'Middlemarch'; they are profound, and speak for those of us who feel we do nothing exceptional:

'For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

I found, and find still, great comfort in these lovely words.

Most people aren’t special, and many who think they are often aren’t either😉
Don’t worry about it, just enjoy your life.

The phrase was probably invented by Andy Warhol and is "In the future everyone will be famous for 15 miutes". It doesn't mean that everyone will be famous just that fame is fleeting and things move on, and it is nothing special. It's a comment on the culture of our time which values short and fleeting moments over real achievements.
I'd give you instead a quote by the poet Yevteshenko

No people are uninteresting.
Their fate is like the chronicle of planets.

Nothing in them in not particular,
and planet is dissimilar from planet.

And if a man lived in obscurity
making his friends in that obscurity
obscurity is not uninteresting.

To each his world is private
and in that world one excellent minute.

And in that world one tragic minute
These are private.

Enjoy your privacy. Enjoy your family. These are real achievements fleeting fame is nothing.

Well I’m not being very helpful when i am down -so I need to turn my frown upside down! Thank you ladies for your responses and advice.

Sorry if I've derailed the thread a bit...

Celieanne86, your apple pie comment really resonated with me - my mum made the best apple pie in the world and we, my three siblings and I, always told her that whenever she made one. Today my dear GS told me my apple pie was "the best ever". Small things that really mean a lot. Hold on to that thought, "Tricia2" if you ever have any doubts about your value in the greater scheme of things.

My daughter thinks I’m amazing because I produced her 😂

But you ARE special. You have raised 4 children who are close to you, and therefore have appreciated what you have done for them and hold you in high esteem. You have wonderful grandchildren, who are also close to you and have obviously benefitted from your children's upbringing by being brought up in the same way.

Fame is transient and shallow, loving family memories are held in the hearts forever of those who love you and are passed on to future generations. I know which I would prefer.

I’m like you don’t think I’ve done anything special in my life but last week my eldest son when I said how I felt he said mum you’ve done one thing we all love you for you make the best apple pie in the world nobody makes apple pie like you do oh well that’s better than nothing I suppose 😆😆😆🥹

I've often reflected that I am a very average person as well, Tricia2, but it doesn't bother me at all. If I am known by close friends and family for being a kind and easy to get along with person, then that is a good legacy in itself! Think about the small influences you have on others, and in by being kind you have helped to created kindness in the world.

You are a mother and grandma, and you all get on, now that is an achievement, and a big one!

Thank you for your kind words. It helps so much. Just really feeling down and having a “pity party”. I appreciate you all!