Thoughts

I spend the same on my son and daughter in law. They live some distance away from us so I don’t get to see either without the other. I wouldn’t dream of treating them differently.

Ditto M0nica and Marydoll!

Well, no not entirely. The presents I give to my 3 s-in-l are well chosen and wrapped etc but I tend to spend less on them than on my own DDs, and I would expect their parents to do the equivalent. And I worry less about them / their health and so on than I do about my own children (not that there’s anything much to worry about usually). I see that as natural.

M0nica

When my son married, his wife she became part of our family and she gets treated just like any other member of the family at every level.

And that is the be-all and the end-all of it.

Ditto! I love them all.

When my son married, his wife she became part of our family and she gets treated just like any other member of the family at every level.

And that is the be-all and the end-all of it.

My son and wife and my daughter and her husband get equal that’s what I do no favourites. I also treat the GC equally it’s only fair in my opinion.

I tend to give a joint present at Christmas and individual ones for birthdays. Probably around the same amount.

I spend the same amount on my daughter and on my son in law. They are both my family and it would be wrong, in my opinion, to differentiate

Understanding*

So it seems like that’s what the key is is seeing your child once they are married as more of someone’s spouse or parent rather than just your child. So basically you shouldn’t just do something for your child without doing for their spouse because your child is no longer just yours.

Am I in that correctly?

I spend the same financially on my daughter and son-in-law. I have lunch occasionally alone with my daughter as does my son-in-law with his mother.

I see them as a unit and although it is my daughter I see her firstly as a wife and mother rather than just a daughter.