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Dilemma on Christmas Day

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dragonfly46 Wed 20-Dec-23 08:38:35

Personally I would love it that the day was different from the usual. I also love spending time with my AC’s friends. We eat Christmas (lunch) in the evening - it doesn’t have to be in the middle of the day. Our family fit in with us.
Try to just go with the flow and enjoy your day.

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Redhead56 Wed 20-Dec-23 08:35:27

It will be an opportunity to be with family go to your sons but opt to stay in while they go to the pub. Otherwise you will be at home on your own I’m sure your late DH wouldn’t want that.

A friend of ours had the same conversation with us recently our response was. Take the time to enjoy your family the young adult GC will fly the nest and you won’t see them much. Enjoy the company and the day best wishes.

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Sago Wed 20-Dec-23 08:30:46

I had many years of doing Christmas for my mother and my in laws.

Every year I was told what was expected of me:
We like to have cleared away before the Queens speech, we must go to early mass, I couldn’t each turkey without bread sauce, presents not to be opened until after church and so it goes on.
I always wondered why couldn’t they just arrive appreciatively and go with the flow.

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Iam64 Wed 20-Dec-23 08:30:01

Good advice from Marydoll.
Cabbie21, last Christmas came weeks after my husband died. Our adult children wanted Christmas here ‘at home’ where they could feel he was with us
This year, one of our daughters is hosting. It’s the first year I haven’t cooked in almost 40. Adjusting to living without our loved husbands is tough. Work out what’s easier for you and take it easy. We are blessed to have adult children who include us

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Marydoll Wed 20-Dec-23 08:20:02

I think it is a lovely gesture to ask you.

You could spend time 'resting' while they are at the pub.
Also, you don't have to eat a huge meal, just have smaller portions.
Due to my meds causing digestive problems, I intend to have a very small Christmas dinner, my family understand this.

It is understandable that you will be sad on this day, but your son is very caring by inviting you.
I hope you have a lovely time.

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Cabbie21 Wed 20-Dec-23 08:12:56

I have been invited to my son’s on Christmas Day. They live about a 25 minute drive away and have two young adult children living at home. This will be the first time spending Christmas Day with them and my first Christmas since DH died. Normally DH and I would spend it quietly home.

My son asked me if I wanted to arrive on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Day. I said I would be arriving late morning. He then said they would be eating at 3 pm, after an hour or so in the pub.
I expected things to be different this year, but this is not something I would expect to be doing, and actually have no desire to be in a pub with a group of their friends, on this day or any day. Do I go along with this so as not to cause offence, or plan to arrive later? I am also not used to eating so late, though I appreciate that a lot of people do.

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