How to handle daughters mother in law?

By STOP do you mean STFU?

This is the sort of situation where that Mumsnet "initialisation" we came across recently would be entirely appropriate. Anyone as stupid as this mil seems to be might actually get the message from it and STOP.

Son in law needs to deal with this.

Tell her straight that …

Some women of that generation do seem to revel in the goriest accounts of their experience of childbirth!
I would tell her straight test her horror stories are unwelcome and unnecessary , that it could frighten or depress your D and faced with a negative experience seriously affect her well being.
I hope she goes to something like NCT or Hypnobirthing classes where she will meet a much more positive attitude and young women like herself.

Babs23

Unfortunately a few of these Job's Comforters exist - everywhere - ready to unfold their tales of misery to a receptive audience. They are completely lacking in awareness and intelligence and haven't the faintest idea that it really is not the done thing to frighten a pregnant woman with stories (usually exaggerated) of things that can go wrong.

Either your daughter's partner must tell his mother to pack it in, or you must make sure your daughter understands that her 'MIL' is a pathological doom-monger and is not to be heeded - in the slightest.

I think you son-in-law needs to have a word with his mother if your daughter finds it distressing - you haven't mentioned her reaction to her MIL's remarks.

So agree Babs23. I would be cross about it. In fact if I had the chance I would ask her to be careful what she said as this could be detrimental to your daughter’s wellbeing as it may well play on her mind. For some people it is all about them and are thoughtless about how these stories affect others. Every delivery has some story attached to it but usually shared among mothers who had their babies in the past. I am sure you are quick to reassure your daughter and chuckle at her mil’s desire to tell a “good story”. Congratulations on soon becoming that wonderful thing - a grandmother.

What matters is whether your daughter is upset by such gruesome tales. Hopefully she will not be. It really is very unkind to talk this way in front of pregnant ladies. Maybe she needs to firmly tell her that she does not find such talk acceptable at any time but particularly not just now.