Only Grandson

I have two GSs and am saving up now because this summer one will turn 21 and the other 18.
Last year they only got £30 each, direct to them, but I do send as much as I can to their parents, to help with current and future university expenses. I think it's up to parents to decide about that.

We don't see much of my son, DIL and childen but my husband always slips both the grandchildren a fiver.

We have 10 aged between 15 and 4 - Christmas, Birthdays & each gets a little spending money just before the summer holidays

Mum gives them £10 for birthday, that's all as she says they all earn more than she does, which is true. Dad, I think is the same as he's never got over the shrug of shoulders off eldest grandson when he handed him £1000 ish. (Dad is a saver and when each grandchild was born, opened a savings bond for them, putting money each birthday/Christmas, letting it grow until they were 21, then handed them the pass book! Eldest, On his birthday, ignores dad, plays on his PlayStation, shrugs on his shoulders, tosses book to side! Needless to say Dad not impressed!)

On top of Christmas and birthday gifts we gave all our grandchildren pocket money - a sum of money each month and their parents saved it for them until they were old enough to have their own savings accounts. We stopped this when they were 18, we just have the two youngest now who are 14 and 13, they appreciate having some money each month and it helps their parents as well.

I try to be scrupulously fair. The DGC don't mind but my 4 DC would notice 😉

I think if we only had one, which was the case for about 3 years, we would still only do birthday, Christmas and small Easter things.

In between we do the occasional book or paintbrush, puzzle or whatever happens to be useful if we happen to see them at a "moment" when something is required...
We had two younger ones over this weekend and I bought 2 pots of slime in with my groceries in case distraction was required. It wasn't. I have kept them for future possible occasions...

There are 7 grandchildren now by the way.

We are up to seven grands , with three on the way! What a year 2024 is turning out to be! We gift them at Christmas holidays and birthdays. And little treats thru out the year , small
Care packages for smaller holidays , start of school etc. we also make little
Contributions meant to help ther parents - for instance this year we took care of good winter boots and coats for all!

I have 6 GC….2 older (21 and 20) and 4 little ones. The older 2 get monthly PM from me via S/O. The younger ones always get a small toy or chocolates , whenever I see them, about once a fortnight. I hate going empty-handed.

I wish people wouldstop misinterpreting what I said. When I talked of buying love I was referring to OTT grandparents constantly showering their grand chlldren with expensive toys and treats. Not the usual present giving and treating that most grandparents, including me, do.

I had a friend whose mother was like that. It meant, as she didn't drive, that the daughter and family moved somewhere inaccessible, a good walk from the local bus stop to try to limit the amount of mostly unwanted and unplayed toys she brought with her when visiting and they tried to visit her at very short notice, so she had limited time to shop before seeing them.

Give my GC a monthly allowance via their GoHenry accounts. Must ask them if they think I'm trying to buy their love......

Shouldn't matter if you have 1 or 10 grandchild .
I only have 1 grandchild , his parents are very adamant that he dosent need excess material possessions. I tend to make things for him rather than buy things , he's only a year old i tend to draw him pictures etc . That way he knows I'm thinking of him without going over the top .

I have three grandsons between 17 and 10. They get Christmas and birthday presents and, occasionally, I might buy one of them something I've seen and think they will like. It will only be something small.

We buy for our DGC whether they pass exams or not. Some children are better at schoolwork than others. How awful to give money to the clever one and not to the one who works just as hard but doesn’t succeed.

DH always talks about his friend and his twin sister. His friend passed his exams and got a bike. His sister didn’t and got nothing. We both think that’s an appalling way to treat children. I would hate to be like that. We have always treated our sons, their wives and our DGC equally. With all our love.

We don’t have a list of what we can or cannot buy for our grandchildren as their parents know we buy out of love and caring. All gifts are gratefully received.
I have never considered it buying affection. I am well aware from their reaction that our grandchildren love us because of who we are not what we give them.. Hours spent playing games with them when young. Doing daft craft things. Being there for them and being part of their family. That’s what counts. It’s not money that makes the bond but caring.

Our older GC (11 and 13) come to stay for a week most school holidays. We treat them to activities and to days out when they are staying with us, and we all enjoy theatre trips etc. Presents are for birthdays and Christmas.

If they are here for a week I set aside an amount of money for snacks/drinks etc that they ask for over and above what we provide anyway. For example we buy popcorn if we go to the cinema but they might ask for a drink too. If that money isn't spent then they are given the remainder as cash-in-hand when they go home. There are rarely any requests these days - they'd much rather have the cash!

Greyduster what you are doing wasn't what I had in mind when I spoke of 'buying affection'

What I had in mind was those grandmothers who are always going over the top, always buying expensive toys, sweets and so on, buying every item on a christmas list etc etc.

I buy gifts for my DGC, but not constantly and not expensive items..

We have 3 Grandsons.
The youngest two get a gift at Christmas and Birthdays plus some money into savings accounts .
accounts. We don’t buy them a gift every time we see them but we love taking them out to different places and we will pay entrance and probably a meal. But no ‘Tat’ from gift shops.
The eldest Grandson is 21 and working. He had a part time job while at college .
He lives at home , pays rent and never asks for anything.
Nowadays he gets a cash gift for Christmas and Birthday and sometimes we slip him a little extra. He works for a Charity in a job he loves .
He’s a lovely young man who is quite happy to spend time with us .

We enjoy treating them all sometimes.

We’ve 5 grandsons, primary and pre-school age. We pay for a comic subscription for each household, and have 5 money boxes here that we put any shiny pound coins in through the year for their summer holiday spends - it amounts to under £20 each, but they enjoy opening their box and counting it. We don’t routinely give presents apart from at Christmas and on birthdays, as they all have more than enough. The exception is books, which we usually get from the charity shops anyway. We’ll treat them to activities though when we’re looking after them.

If we just had the one? I think the only difference is that we’d have opened him a regular savings account with the money we’d have saved.

I only have one and I pay a monthly amount into an investment account for him, which we have done since he was three. He’s now nearly seventeen. I mark any achievements such as good exam results with cash, and if he helps me out with any heavy gardening, I give him what I would pay the gardener. I don’t look on it as “buying his affection” and I know he would be horrified to think that I needed to. He gives that freely and often. He’s still at school and has a casual part time job but a little extra doesn’t come amiss.

We have two, 10 and 16, we buy for birthday and Christmas and both have a small amount paid into their bank accounts monthly, a little spending money for family holidays.
Different ‘treats’ eg, MrJ is taking the 10 year old to a premier league football game next weekend, we’ve bought a hair dryer and straighteners kept here for when the 16 year old stays

I thinking showering children with money and treats is not a good child rearing strategy, whether it is the parents or grandparents.

In the case of a grandparent doing it it smacks of them trying to buy their grandchild's love and affection, because they are afraid of not being loved by them, and that it a disaster.

We live about 200 miles from DGC and see them about 6 times a year. We buy presnts for birthdays and Christmas, aways againt a wish list provided by child or parent and, like OOpsadaisy1, we usually slide a paper banknote into their hands as we lieve to go home , or they do.

In between, the odd small item, a book, or icecream or the like.

But as in everything it is the parents that call the shots.

I have 7 I give the a good money gift Christmas and birthdays and would spend money on them if they visit (all grown up earn a lot more than me but they re still my grandkids)

I agree Doodle - the most important gift I can give is my time.

I have 2 grandsons, 6 and 2. I put money in accounts for them every month, give them birthday and Christmas presents as ‘instructed’ by their parents, (so I don’t buy something that won’t be played with or worn).
When I’m out and about, I don’t deliberately look for things for them, but if something catches my eye, I’d probably buy it - eg. a £5 dinosaur onesie in M&S on Friday for the little one,
I see both regularly, so don’t take something every time, but occasionally I might give a book, a little jigsaw or a set of Pokémon cards.

I think a lot depends on how well off you are. Nothing wrong with birthdays and Christmas and the occasional treat if that’s all you can afford.
We have always spent on our three. Trips out, money for holiday ice creams, Easter gifts pocket money. driving lessons when 17.
Still think love and caring are the best gifts grandparents can give including their time and attention.