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Do you find it annoying when people use a diminutive form of your name without asking?

(224 Posts)
25Avalon Thu 01-Feb-24 18:05:00

Some friends call me by my full first name and others a shortened version, such as Susan and Sue. I get annoyed when people I don’t know do this. I am secretary of a sports club and always sign myself with my full first name in a professional manner. Back the emails come nine times out of ten with the shortened version as if we are bosom chums which we aren’t. I sometimes I haven’t even met them.I think it’s rude and presumptuous. What do others think?

GardenofEngland Sun 04-Feb-24 16:01:24

I wouldn't care...as long as they called me an acceptable shortened version...my sister was a definite Hyacinth Bouquet about her name..but she lived up to it!

AGAA4 Sun 04-Feb-24 16:06:06

I don't mind if people get my name wrong if it's in a friendly way. The only time I was annoyed was when my MiL to be started adding an 'o' to the end of my short name. She did it to irk me as she was a jealous woman. Not the only thing she did to get me away from her darling son.

honeyrose Sun 04-Feb-24 16:09:02

I do mind - but only little a bit. I try not to let it bother me, but I’d prefer my whole name (only 2 syllables) to be used, although I don’t say anything as I wouldn’t want to embarrass the person who shortens my name. My late mother in law used to call me by the shortened name and she was a difficult person to get along with, so maybe that’s why I still prefer my whole name used. I used to think that someone was taking a bit of a liberty using the shortened version, but I think it’s often in an effort to be friendly - although maybe it could been seen as passive-aggressive?

dragonfly46 Sun 04-Feb-24 16:14:23

Germanshepherdsmum

It’s personal choice. How is it pompous to say that? And yes, life is too short to fret about such things.

Even when people call you a completely different name? I love my name but shortened it becomes a completely different name.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 04-Feb-24 16:19:41

The thread title refers to the use of diminutives. My name can also become a completely different name if shortened. I can think of four different diminutives of my name which people have chosen to call me over the years and I truly don’t mind. I tend not to sweat the smell stuff - which to me is what this is.

Missiseff Sun 04-Feb-24 16:30:19

Yes. I hate it.

Summerfly Sun 04-Feb-24 16:35:44

I have an unusual name. My darling mum used to shorten it, but if she was cross with me, it was always my proper name. Most of my friends and family shorten it, It doesn’t bother me at all.

mrsgreenfingers56 Sun 04-Feb-24 16:38:26

I think bad manners to be honest.

If your name is Susan then it is Susan and people shouldn't shorten it to Sue without permission.

2507C0 Sun 04-Feb-24 16:40:03

hazel93

Oh, do get over yourself !

Haha! This! And life's too short 😂

Tenko Sun 04-Feb-24 16:47:32

My name can’t really be shortened, well there is one shortened version and that is also my dads name , so I’m always called by my full name . My DH is always called the shortened version of his name as are my two AC . They all prefer the shortened version .
I don’t really care what people call me. Life’s too short .
However my DM hated the shortened version of her name and would correct people if they used it.
As for professionals using your first and last name instead of Mrs or Mr , it’s to make sure they have the right person .
However after I’ve called someone from the waiting room , I ask , do you mind me calling you Ann etc and if they say yes I do mind , I use Mrs or mr etc.

Madmeg Sun 04-Feb-24 16:54:47

A recently-departed friend was called Roy so that it couldn't be shortened. Unfortunately his surname was quite long so he was known all his life as "Bick".

For some reason, my husband, who is the greatest traditionalist in the lad, has latched onto the modern versions of many names and assumes that everyone with that name has the modern version. For example, Kris, Jon, Cate, Rik.

dragonfly46 Sun 04-Feb-24 17:12:43

I must say it bothered me more when I was at school than it does now. Horses for courses though as it isn’t small stuff to some people.

cupcake1 Sun 04-Feb-24 17:15:30

I’m in the “life’s too short” camp !

Cyclone Sun 04-Feb-24 17:18:38

I get very cross when my name is shortened
to Chris by people who hardly know me!!

Pammie1 Sun 04-Feb-24 17:19:46

If you’re irked by this you haven’t got enough to worry about !!

kittylester Sun 04-Feb-24 17:29:43

It might be a small irritation that really matters to some people.

I think it can show a lack of respect.

M0nica Sun 04-Feb-24 17:36:31

kitty you are absolutely right. Our name is us and we decide what we are called. Anyone deliberately not calling us the name that we want is setting out to treat us with disrespect.

With one outstanding exception (not DH!), everyone who has ever called me anything but the name I want has been setting out delibeately to treat me with contempt.

Tanjamaltija Sun 04-Feb-24 18:09:57

My name is already a shortened form of my baptismal name. People think they are being nice and friendly when they shorten it further; but I don't bother to correct them, because life is too short to be pernickety. Also, everyone's name can be shortened - to a first initial. It's just that you have not met anyone who does that (yet). Better a shortened name than a nickname, I say.

Dianehillbilly1957 Sun 04-Feb-24 18:29:58

I actually like my name, it can and does get shortened. I always introduce myself self using my full name. I'm not really bothered if it gets shortened, but it's nice if I'm asked if I mind it being shortened.

Romola Sun 04-Feb-24 18:48:51

My name is very common and I answer to both versions. DH had an unusual name, frequently mis-spelled,

Serendipity22 Sun 04-Feb-24 19:24:10

I seriously couldn't care less if I'm addressed by full name or shortened
😊

Sarahr Sun 04-Feb-24 20:29:12

You have a given name. If you choose to use the full or shortened version then that is your choice. I don't respond to anyone unless they use my full name. Reason for this is that when I was at school I had 2 friends who shared the same name as me. Eventually, we decided to go by different versions of our name, as we were fed up with always responding together.
As for people not referring to your name as you have written it in email, all I can say is that they must have difficulty reading and spelling. It's really rude to refer to you by a different name, albeit a shortened version of your name.

Josie883 Sun 04-Feb-24 21:06:53

No big deal.

Lucyd Sun 04-Feb-24 21:17:10

My name can't be shortened. I prefer my middle name but my lovely late Dad was the only person to ever call me by that name and then only occasionally. I have a lovely late great aunt who was always known as Auntie Lizzie but she always signed cards as Auntie Betty as she didn't like the name Lizzy. Wish I had called her Auntie Betty but as a child I just went along with what everyone else called her. I hear my son and dil calling my grand daughter by a shortened version of her name which is quite sweet (she has a lovely but not very common name and the shortened version suits her).

nexus63 Sun 04-Feb-24 21:48:33

i tell people to use the shortened version of my name as my name ends in lyn and not ine, i even tell people at hospital app or when i am in hospital, which is often that if they can't use my name then please call me mrs nexus.