Too young for Alcohol?

To be fair I'm totally tea total and I'd recommend this method rather than wait for him to "explore" it with his friends. My son had his first sip of Sherry at new year and recently had a half bottle of lager. He liked the Sherry but didn't like larger. But he also understands it's something you drink in serious moderation. Even though his dad had told him he could finish the glass of sherry (very small one) he didn't he only had a bit to toast been first foot at someone's house. Instead he had a taste then decided because I was the only sober one at new year that he wants going to drink no more because he wanted to be responsible. Not making an issue about alcohol is perfectly acceptable and to let them have it with a meal is a good way to teach them to pace themselves not to drink on an empty stomach and that it's nothing special.

When I was 16 I went to stay with a French family who had an 18 month old son who used to have diluted wine at mealtimes. He is now a doctor.

I must have been born in a different generation (and perhaps social grouping) to many on here. MissA I don't often disagree with you, but I'm not at all sure what you mean by your reference to folks from council estates cos lots of my friends in the 60s lived there, and most were perfectly nice kids.

I drank alcohol far earlier than I should have done, but not to excess, and have no idea if my parents knew (although they always seemed to know everything else about me!). I sang in a Folk Group which played in the local pubs (well before I was 16) and such music was always a big part of my life.

My entire family drank alcohol. My GD was a pub pianist and was "paid" in free pints.

I didn't taste wine till well into my 20s (it simply didn't exist in my social circle), and have always enjoyed it. Yes, there have been times when I have drunk more than I should (stress, social circle etc.) but curbed it well for many years. I now only drink low alcohol stuff. Even in the years that I drank too much I was never drunk. My DD used to joke that when he was courting my DM he could never have his wicked way with her till they were married cos six whiskies had no effect on her!!!

My DDs both experimented with alcohol in their teens. It didn't bother me cos I knew it was a phase and could have been a phase of a much more serious kind (yes, I knew several experimenters with drugs in the 1960s - I never even smoked a joint). My DDs hardly drink at all now, usually something "novel" like spritzers. My eldest DD has two almost-teenagers and she and her DH are the best parents on earth. Her DH was a "typical teenage boozer" having a bunch of friends in the Police Force (not meant to be prejudiced!). So far I'm not aware that either of the kids have been offered alcohol, and if they are I consider it none of my business and really not too bad a thing in the grand scheme of things that can go wrong with teenagers.

My DH's dad was a staunch Methodist and his first encounter with a pub was in his 60s and he expected to see sawdust and spitoons! He chose to drink a sherry and knocked an entire schooner back in one. Three sherries later and he had to be taken home. What an embarrassment that was. He was the youngest of eight children so no idea how he reached that age without having had a drink or two.

Of course there is no guarantee that how kids are brought up will encourage or prevent bad habits as adults, but I wouldn't have thought a couple of shandies ever week was an issue.

I think they are doing the right thing and he is being enabled to see drinking alcohol in a balanced, integrated way, not as something that is taboo (and therefore to be coveted and taken in excess in secret, or when turning the legal age). My Belgian grandmother used to have a glass of chartreuse every afternoon at around 3.00pm and even as young as 3 I had a few teaspoons at the bottom of a tiny glass. I HATED the taste but I had it to keep Grandma company. When I was legally old enough to drink I never wanted too much and while I maybe have a little too much red wine on occasion, I have never been 'off my face'. What is forbidden only becomes more fascinating.

Many years ago I wrote my dissertation on culture and society in England in the 16th Century. Interestingly, the English had a (deserved) reputation for drinking to excess even then. In comparison, the French, as others have mentioned, introduced their children to alcohol from a younger age. Generally speaking they have a far healthier approach to alcohol, so I think it is better that young people are gradually introduced to alcohol rather than being let loose at 18.

I agree with those who have pointed out that we have a strange attitude to alcahol - it is a drug but we treat it as if it is not. Culture and history are at play here. If it suddenly appeared today we'd ban it! Young people need to make choices about alcahol and some younger ones I know do not drink it at all.

Poppyred

The OP is the parent!

Is he? Or was there a word missed out or typo??

I still remember visiting friends just before Christmas one year with my toddler daughter. We were given sherry and when we had finshed, the empty glasses remained on the coffee table. DD picked one up and drained the tiny remaining drop then said "Yummy yummy". We found it amusing. She then did the same with another 'empty glass'. We asked 'what is it?' expecting a repeat of yummy yummy but her response was "Gone!" At the time I was unaware of it being illegal for a child under five to have any alcohol!

I don't think my children experienced alcohol apart from that until they were teenagers. and both drink sensibly as adults. DD was usually the driver when out with friends at age 18 onwards so didn't drink at all. She did occasionally overdo it while at university, but now is teetotal as she finds it sometimes gives her headaches and she usually has to drive everywhere anyway. DS drinks regularly at home with meals but I don't think he overindulges.

I also remember taking my DS out for a meal while he was a Uni student. He went to the bar to get us drinks and was refused service as he looked too young! I think he was 20 at the time, but isn't very tall. I had to go and get the drinks as he didn't have any ID on him!

Personally I see no harm in a 15 year old having a drink with family as it's far better than drinking with friends who may encourage getting drunk.

Here in Denmark it has always been held that it is far better for 15-16 year olds to be allowed to drink a beer or a glass of wine at home, or when they are out with their parents, as they need to learn to drink responsibly.

This is far more likely to be achieved if they are with their parents than with their contemporaries!

Unless the boy's parents ask for your opinion, obviously you should say nothing.

Parents ( and grandson) decision I think.
My late father born in 1921 spoke of taking warm beer in a flask to school! It seemed to be the normal at that time!

I don't know how such an old thread has ended up on the daily email thing

My children were allowed M&S Buck’s Fizz on Xmas morning from about 10 years old. Once they got to 15/16 we bought them low alcohol lager to drink at home with us. My eldest AS doesn’t drink more than 2 beers at any time. AS2 doesn’t get drunk either as he hates any loss of control. My youngest AS didn’t drink at all until he was 19/20 following the breakup of his relationship with his gf, he couldn’t control his intake which caused a lot of heartache and worry for us and his siblings. So perhaps controlled drinking could have helped him understand his limits.

From about 14 or so I was always allowed a glass of wine with Sunday lunch at home & I haven't turned into an alcoholic!! I like a drink but not to excess, nearly 16 and the odd lager sounds perfectly acceptable

Our children were allowed to have a beer at home if they wanted when they were 15, when it was available it never became a big thing and none of them have become big drinkers.

According to the UK government

"However, if you’re 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal."

www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

My parents ran a pub for many years.
Right from a very young age I was allowed to drink a weak shandy, a sip of spirits or watered down wine, usually with a meal.
When I was older, in my teens, I could try full strength alcohol.
I don't know whether this relaxed attitude to drinking contributed to the fact that I rarely drink other than during meals out or social occasions, or whether it was because I lived in a pub and saw what prats people made of themselves when they drank to excess.

rafichagran

They are perhaps teaching him to drink responsibly.

Agree.

Perhaps you should start a new thread FranA.
This thread from February last year is more about adults giving children alcohol, whereas you seem to have made that decision yourself.

Alcohol. My drug of choice

When I was 17 I knew I was a female ready to take on the world. On my 17th birthday I walked into the hardest pub I knew in the locality and bought myself a drink. It was all a bit of a letdown. There was only one other customer. I drank my bicardi and coke and checked out the premises, never to return. Box ticked.
I did though acquire a liking for alcohol. I liked it enough to realise that I may have an addictive gene. That was enough to warn me that maybe I shouldn’t try anything else. So I said a firm “No” to anything else I was offered.
Lots of wine has passed under the bridge since then. The health implications have finally caught up with me.
Should I quit or just carry on doing something that from time to time fires lots of unused neural pathways and gives me some of my best /or not so great ideas.
I was just wondering if this reaction to alcohol strikes a chord with anyone else.

It is illegal here,at that age, on any licensed premises, including cafes and restaurants. The parents would be fined. Plus the restaurant or cafe owners would get into trouble and may lose their liquor licence. You can provide alcohol for under 18 s in your own home provided it is the parents supplying it. Very clear and none of my children have supplied my grandchildren with it u derange. It can be quite damaging to developing brains.

The reason to drink to excess is in order to get drunk.
Well, it was when I was a teen.

As a child I was always given a small glass of wine with my meal on special occasions such as Christmas, weddings, etc. I did the same with my children. If they’re brought up with it there’s no novelty, so no reason to drink to excess.

Do people's teens never have have drunken teen shenanigans if they have a drink with mum and dad?

I don't believe that, unless the teenagers I've known are particularly terrible.

I think he's far better off having a drink with family than being out with his mates and a few litres of Cider, or what ever they go for now. My grandfather used to give me a glass of orange with a spot of Gin in it when I was 5 or 6, and a Cherry Brandy at Christmas. I liked the taste but it didn't turn me into an alcoholic.

In Australia it is illegal for a person under eighteen to buy or consume alcohol in a licensed venue and at home must have the parents consent.