NanaTuesday these were my first thoughts too.
Might they consider family counselling? After all they have chosen to come home?
Does your son have control issues?
The truth may be hard to acknowledge.
I'm sorry life is so tough for you.
In what ways is your sin being aggressive? If he is, I can understand your daughters feelings?
Surely we need more info before saying bring your son home?
Sinbad1700
Is everyone missing the point here ? Is it that your DS is the same as your abusive ex husband & your DD’s have taken a stance at this ?
Is it possible, that you don’t see this fact or refuse to see it ?
I am just surmising here obviously. But every one else is going down the route that your DD are now being abusive to you , maybe it could be that they are being slightly aggressive but for different reasons . They can see the behaviour that you can’t .
Or are they like your abusive ex , their Dad .
It’s a hard one & only you will know which is right .
Get your son back into your home, if your daughters don’t like it they can leave.
As another poster said, you need to assert yourself in your own home,
Your husband abused you, and now you are going to let your daughters do it? To you and your son?
OP, surely if your son was being aggressive or confrontational you would have noticed/heard unless you live in a huge stately home. Are you saying their accusations are completely unfounded? I think more context is needed.
Grams2five
Interesting that you’ve already posted this and now are doing so again
This was posted about three days ago.
It's just that nobody had responded.
They both hate me. They wont have a verbal discussion with me because they think i change the narrative every time we speak. All our conversations are dont over text now.
But don't hate you enough to move out??? If they are making your life so miserable tell them to leave - how much worse can it really make you feel? No one should feel like their home is their prison.
Interesting that you’ve already posted this and now are doing so again
Ridiculous, it’s your house and your rules.Unless your son really is aggressive then tell your DD’s to shape up or ship out.
Why on earth should you feel like a failure?
You did a good job, but degrees and a good education are far from the only marks of success when it comes to family life.
All parents fail to some degree so accept you didn't get everything right, no one ever does.
You seem to have taken in all your children now, despite their educational success. This means you didn't really raise them to be independent, especially your son.
You say your daughters don't allow your son to come home but it is your home not theirs. If they don't like your rules then it is they who should leave, surely?
Why do your daughters now need you? You don't say. I needed my mum too but I didn't need to live in her house.
I'm sorry this is causing you so much hurt but I think you should assert your rights and give them notice to leave. It is the only way you will have any peace, especially as they won't even speak to you. You are being abused by your daughters and need to get help.
Who owns the house/flat or who`s name is on the tenancy. If it was me I would tell the girls to get there own place/share a flat not continue to live cheaply of me but not allow me to decide who comes into my home. that is abusive regardless of if they have a problem with their brother or not. You then make your own choice about your son sorry but I just would not be abused in anyway by my grown up daughters! or son
Duplicate thread
I dont know what to do so I've come here as a last shot.
I'm so lost.
I raised my 3 children up under a really stressful and abusive relationship which ended in my husband attacking me and me leaving him because if i didnt i would have lost my kids to the social services system.
They had just hit teens, between 13 and 16 and it was really hard.
I had to come to terms with losing my ex family and bringing them up myself.
I thought i did a good job, they went through uni and all got degrees, one is doing their phd.
Recently my 2 girls came back home from living away, my son always lived with me and we've always got on well.
My daughters have accused my son of being aggressive and have effectively driven him out of the house. He's not allowed to come home, if he does i have to give prior warning and when he's here i get a hurl of abuse for him being here.
I've been trying to avoid my dds to keep the peace because i couldn't get my head around why he wasnt able to come home, and so i kept asking them and now they're saying I'm causing them anxiety and have accused me of lying and basically making their experience back home a nightmare. Effectively not being there for them when they need me the most.
Im so lost. I thought i did well. And now i feel like a failure.
They both hate me. They wont have a verbal discussion with me because they think i change the narrative every time we speak. All our conversations are dont over text now.
I dont know what to do.
This is the worst time of my life.
I've dealt with so much rejection in my life but this hurts the worst.
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