Where has all the time gone?

I think we all have periods like this.
I've learned to focus mainly on the good things and to be generally kinder to myself.

Thinking of you.

It’s called intimations of mortality.
Getting older and not in the best of health and those close to us dying.
Recognise those thoughts, they’re valid after all, then decide to do your best to enjoy the time left to you.You’re retired, so that’s a plus, no dashing off to work in the cold and rain for you, no real money troubles, your children older and with children of their own, a job well done, and a holiday in the offing.

I'm so sorry to hear about your health conditions and bereavements Honey1958. I know only too well how tough life can be. I have no words of wisdom or platitudes but I'm sending hugs.

I felt old this evening as I struggled to get in the sheets off the line !
I used to fold them neatly as I took them down ! But now they are in a tangle over the clothes horse !
I’ll fold them when dry , using my bed as a table !

I know a bit how you feel. My bf and mum are dead. Other best friend is getting forgetful and distant. Health not great. We know we are older and in the winter of our life. It takes a lot of adjustment. All we can do is be as happy as we can now, and be kind to family and others and try not to think too much. And be grateful. I watch the children in our school street and tell myself it's their turn now, life is a circle, I can't be greedy. I'm a Christian which helps, but not completely.

I share your pain Honey1958 that could have been me writing that. Oreo has some wise words for you that also take heed of.

for you, Honey, I’m sure we all have times like this. I lost my parents in my thirties and one of my best friends when I was in my forties, but I look at the people around me now and sometimes wonder which of us’ll be next! Oreo is right though, health issues aside we are the fortunate ones and need to make the most of each day. Be kind to yourself.

Great post, Oreo - I have nothing to add OP, best wishes.

Yes, good post Oreo.
I know how you feel Honey. I’m in much the same position as you although I’m married and about to celebrate our Golden Wedding later this year. I lost my father some eight years ago and my mother only eighteen months ago. My husband’s parents both died recently too, and in December my friend of thirty years died. I’m having some health issues at the moment too.
However on the positive side, we own our home, we have pensions and savings, our children are grown up and still very family minded and we have four gorgeous grandchildren.
I do think you have to think about the positives as much as you can. Sometimes I have down days because I’m having a lot of pain at the moment, but I come on Gransnet to distract me. I try to go out as often as possible, even if it’s only to the shops.
You say you lost two friends recently which is hard, but you will get over the grief and then remember the happy times you shared with them. I hope you have other friends too.

Sometimes I ask myself what was it all for? The years of work and the thousands of pounds Ive paid into the kittyfor the benefit of others.

Its hard for me to just take one day at a time as I am a planner. A woman born with a mans brain.

Other posters are right. You have to let it all go and do the best for yourself now.

I hope that you have talen some comfort from the posts here Honey, and that you will feel brighter soon.
Remember- old age isn't for softies..

It’s a reality check retirement you wonder what’s next I think we all have these thoughts it’s natural. I look forward to things we have planned and just enjoy the moment and take nothing for granted.
Spring is in the air I look forward to planting more seeds and bulbs watching the birds busy making nests. I hope it lifts your spirits up too looking forward to brighter days to come.

Hello Honey.
I didn’t think I was old until I was 70 when I had to accept I was no longer middle aged ( I know 😩!) but was old(er).
Yes it’s hard. I do understand. Try to enjoy life as much as you can, get out for a walk every day if you can, it really cheer us up. Enjoy your holiday and be happy you are alive , the alternative we all know.

Constant happiness is not a realistic part of the human condition. I was upset recently over something rather trivial and read Krishnamurti, who said we should go with our suffering, acknowledge it and not avoid it. I tried it and it helped.

I’m a great one for treating myself aged 76. It’s frustrating with health issues, but I’m constantly on the look out for things to do I enjoy. I don’t bother about others too much either.
With your blessings, as you say, try to treat yourself too.
This can balance up the less than perfect times.

I don't often feel sad, but I listened to Sandy Denny sing: 'Who Knows Where The Time Goes?' on YouTube the other day and the tears flowed down my cheeks. She died too young and so I mourned for her, for all the friends and family I've lost and a little for myself because I'll have to leave it all behind one day. I'd say you have to make a choice to put your happiness and wellbeing high on your priorities, as we're only here once. HTH.

It’s also that you realise we are now the older generation. The youngest of my 5 GC is 16, where has it all gone so quickly?

But our parents must have thought this too.

Such an opportune thread, and such supportive answers.
From your name, Honey1958, if you're like me it's that exact age when it all hits you. The year when you no longer work, when you receive your pension, when everything is pretty much fine, but you feel oh so down.
I have also lost a close cousin and friend recently. I have outlived my parents' ages when they died, that in itself really scares me. Yes, it's that little time left, mortality feeling.
Thank you Oreo and others for saying we should recognise these feelings, and accept them. It seems doubly hard if you've always been a bright, bubbly person, though I'm sure all people feel the same. Hopefully just a temporary phase.
The opportunity to open up on Gransnet is invaluable and I hope you feel comforted Honey1958.

Hello all and thanks for your kind comments. I love the phrase intimations of mortality. Really sums it up. In our heads we are still 21. It's hard to accept you can't do all you used to. I recognise well the folding sheets problem!
Met 2 old friends recently after an absence of 15 years and my initial reaction was who are these old folks. Sure they felt the same about me!
I am guilty of overthinking things. Will try more to concentrate on the positives look forward and make the best of what time is left

By coincidence, I have been feeling the same, and get cross with myself for I recognise I am in a better position than many; at least I don't have to choose between heating and eating for example, and my adult children have grown up to be considerate, caring people with lovely partners. I am making a point of doing things I want to do, take holidays, arrange to meet friends, not leaving things until later when I may not be fit to do so. Like you, I shall try to focus on the positives.

Yes it can be very hard looking around and seeing friends and family who are no longer fit. I still feel that life is precious and try to live for today instead of worrying about yesterday and tomorrow. There is Spring and better weather to look forward to. There are still kind and caring people willing to lend a hand. Life is for living whatever our circumstances. Have a good day.

Lots of lovely positive posts, thankyou all! I’ve always thought of myself as pessimistic and I try really hard to “count my blessings” - it doesn’t work every time but enough to keep me buoyant. Sending you very best wishes Honey and

Probably most of us get those feelings of so much of our lives having gone but they are feelings and like happiness or sadness they are usually fleeting.
I enjoy all the things I've always enjoyed and don't have any work or commitments to get in the way. If I feel sad that I'm old at any time I try to distract myself with a good book or a walk. It usually passes.

Thanks for nice comments to me
Glad you feel more positive now Honey1958 sometimes it’s good to know that many others feel the same way at times.Old age doesn’t come with a user guide and can be a shock to the system.

I feel the same. Life can turn on a sixpence. We all like to think we are in control. Then events happen and sadly, we realise that we aren’t. Not at all. My life was oh so different only 10 months ago. I cannot believe the change we have had to come to accept.