Claire's Law

Use Claire's Law and get some peace of mind. Claire's lovely father fought hard for this law following the murder of his daughter.

Why have you gone straight to the idea of secret snooping rather than encouraging your grandaughter to talk with her mum about her worries? What kind of relationship do you have with your granddaughters mother?
Unless there is evidence of convictions or allegations the police see as credible, nothing will come from trying Claire’s law. I’m not certain you have enough concerns to use it. Upfront communication is usually better

I feel the same as Cossy.

TinSoldier

You can’t use the The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme as a general background check. Just because your daughter is being secretive doesn’t meet the person she is meeting is bad.

She’s perhaps feeling awkward about needing to be with someone. Others can very judgmental about widows and widowers expecting us to stay in weeds for years or forever. Children can be feel insecure, even resentful about their parent seeing someone new.

Before releasing information, police must be sure that the request is genuine and not malicious; that there is a pressing need for the disclosure; that it is necessary to protect the person from being the victim of a crime; and that the impact on the perpetrators’ rights is necessary and proportionate.

Details that can be shared include information on convictions or allegations of assault, murder, manslaughter and false imprisonment, which may not already be in the public domain.

www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/06/revealed-police-refusing-requests-for-background-checks-on-violent-partners

All of this. Your daughter may be keeping it secretive because she’s worried people will find it too soon and judge , or perhaps she’s unsure herself and waiting to tell anyone to see if anything comes of it.

albertina

Use Claire's Law and get some peace of mind. Claire's lovely father fought hard for this law following the murder of his daughter.

Not quote sure you understand how clares law works

I agree and, as I posted upthread, the police won’t progress a request under the DVDS unless there is evidence that someone is at risk. Not having a social media presence is not evidence of risk.

There is a “right to ask” but it will be for a member of police staff to make the decision whether to progress a disclosure application following an assessment of risk.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-violence-disclosure-scheme-pilot-guidance/domestic-violence-disclosure-scheme-accessible

Bear in mind that if applicants wilfully or maliciously provide false information to the police in order to try and obtain a disclosure they are not entitled to, they may risk prosecution under Section 5(2) of the Criminal Law Act 1967, in other words - wasting police time. The fine for that is up to £2,500.

I’m not suggesting that anyone is planning to do that, only to be mindful of getting this out of all proportion.

I see that OP posted on 7 February 2024 say that her son in law died “a few weeks ago after a long illness”.

I’d say it’s unusual for a woman to be dating again so soon after bereavement but who knows what passed between she and her husband before he died. Maybe he gave her his blessing not to be alone, to go out and have a social life after so long caring for him. Sometimes it can be helpful to meet with someone outside of the friends and family bubble; someone who isn’t tiptoeing around us; someone detached who treats us as someone other than the grieving widow. And nobody knows what kind of relationship she is having with this man.

He could be bereaved too and they are just meeting to talk about how they are coping with life. Some people genuinely register with dating sites just to find friendship, someone who understands because nobody can really understand what losing a life partner feels like until it happens to them and there is no rule book about how we should behave.

The OP in the new relationship is in a vulnerable place after a bereavement.
Not to be too alarmist but some of the profiles on dating sites are from scammers. They are very clever at getting what they want ( money) and prey on vulnerable people.
But having said that, this may be a genuine relationship developing. I agree that she may be feeling embarrassed at the new man in her life as it is so soon and trying to protect her daughter. She may feel she'll be judged as it is not long after the bereavement.
When people are in mourning their behaviour can be different to how they were before.
In the first instance I would speak directly to your daughter but not say anything judgemental. Just say what her daughter has said.

Ultimately you are being protective and concerned and in this situation I personally don't think it could be seen as interfering.

This is the first I have even heard of this law.

I don't see how this is a big dangerous secret? She just isn't telling anyone she has started to see someone else and the only reason anyone else knows is snooping and gossip?

VioletSky

I don't see how this is a big dangerous secret? She just isn't telling anyone she has started to see someone else and the only reason anyone else knows is snooping and gossip?

Quite