Where did 'please' and 'thank you' go?

My husband is of Sicilian heritage and he never uses please or thank you neither do any of his family but they change the tone of their voices if they are asking for something. In our family that is what we do as well, it is more in the tone of the voice that a word

I remember once standing in a book shop where a young man was waiting to get past between narrow shelves. He could easily have walked around me but was too lazy. Instead of saying "excuse me" or "may I pass please" he made a snippy remark to his girlfriend that he was "waiting for this lady to move" so he could get past."

I told him I was waiting to hear words like "please" and "excuse me" before I moved, and pointed out that basic social skills cost nothing. His girlfriend told him "Shes right you know. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be out with you."

I was forced to go to Asda on Sunday as Tesco here have removed wholemeal bread flour from their deliveries (they can’t explain why). The checkout assistant did not even look at me, I said hello and thank you, she just stared into space. I know it can be a soul destroying job but a bit of interaction would make the time go quicker as well as being polite to speak back when spoken to. Perhaps it is a tactic to encourage you to use the self checkout!

I have given away a lot of things on Freecycle, and usually receive a thank you by email. It's the ones who just don't turn up after giving a time for collection who annoy me. Changed their mind, too far to come, at least let me know!

I always message the person after I have collected the item to say thank you

Wheniwasyourage

I always hope that the teams on Only Connect who can't be bothered with Please and Thank you will lose to the polite ones. It doesn't save them any time and sounds very churlish!

I always notice that too, it's just so rude but more and more of them do that lately.

'Please' and 'thank' you went the same way 'sorry' and 'excuse me' - just returned from the supermarket where TWO order pickers lost knocked me over with their trolleys.

Not hearing a please or thank you is one of my bugbears. Another, after moving from Devon to Shropshire, was to hear my children’s friends talking about presents that they’d had “off” so and so, instead of “from”. To my ears it sounded so unappreciative, but probably just a difference in local expression. It still grates !!

Children learn by example so it's down to good parenting/grandparenting and schools who instill this in their pupils. I'm sure we all do our best for the next generation. I think some shops should have better training of staff, I've had some surly assistants recently! but my local Waitrose staff are great.

I think it has gone the same way as giving up your seat on public transport for someone less able, and saying me and xyz instead of xyz and I

We are very sadly in ‘I want - I’m entitled society’! Again as I said in previous lady all in the education! Education - we oldies would never have had anything without saying ‘please or thank you!

I find that if I am being approached on a narrow pavement by a couple or a group of people who seem to expect me to step on to the road, the best thing to do is to stop (on the inside of the pavement if I can get there). That makes them move to get round me and works more often than not!

Infuriates me when, for example, I hold a door open and the person walking thru doesn’t say thank you - I always say loudly “you’re welcome”!
What’s wrong with people? And it’s Often older people. Also people Walking side by side on the pavement - I always move over (obviously) for pram pushers
Etc - but often couples (no children or pushchairs) just walk together as if they own the pavement (feeling quite cross now )!

remember that character played by ronnie corbett, who kept saying sorry.
was the show called sorry ?

Oldfrill

I said sorry when 'almost bumping' into a stranger. She responded (l thought extremely aggressively) with 'you damned Brits are so damned polite'. So, rather shocked, l automatically said sorry again 😄😄😄 she's American.
We ended up friends.

my comment is in reply to RosiesMaw's last.

exactly. these people whom i watch are v mannerly, which is why it surprised me.
the man originates in rural arkansas, but worked near/in DC, the woman from ?coastal carolina/virginia, both much travelled.
the youngest at school child now sounds a bit northants ! wonder if he says P&T more.

Another noticeable difference is that British people say ‘sorry’ all the time- even when someone bumps into them and it isn’t their fault. I have to stop myself doing this, even after the 50+ years I have lived here. Often we say ‘ yes thanks’ where you might say ‘yes please’ . Just different habits.

welbeck

i wonder if this is an effect of so much popular culture being american.
there is an american family, living in uk, whom i follow on youtube.
very nice, educated, interesting people recently had twins.
when the father was left in sole charge, i noticed how he barked orders at his older girl, bring the bag, put it in the car, check the twins etc.
even when all was completed and on their way, never heard a please or thank you.
it surprised me. they all get on nicely.
as his 4 older children are at school here, i wondered if it might cause friction, if they don't learn to say please or thank you.

Nearly 60 years ago I did a school exchange with the English Speaking Union to Louisville, Kentucky.
I loved the accents, the old fashioned “Southern” manners but was struck by the absence of Please and Thank you at the same time.
Commenting to my exchange partner she said they were equally amazed by the way we Brits said Please and Thank you all the time , often repeatedly. They didn’t equate its absence with bad manners!
Different habits?
I’m definitely in Team P&Q!

Whenever the Boy Wonder or L’il Miss say please or thank you unprompted I always praise them by saying ‘lovely manners good to hear them’. They smile and I think it’s nice to notice and compliment them.

Grannybags

I was having lunch out today and heard a Grandad say to small child on his table “what’s the magic word?”

“Abracadabra” said the child!

That's lovely

Two of my DGS were so polite when we went to Subway: “Please may I have some onion”, “Please may I also have some lettuce”, etc, etc. Luckily they weren’t very busy at the time!

I was having lunch out today and heard a Grandad say to small child on his table “what’s the magic word?”

“Abracadabra” said the child!

My two eldest GCs always say when asking for food in a restaurant "may I have the ......please." Their father always says can I get!