Friends?

What a shame there aren’t more people like you in the world Magsymoo, a bit of kindness makes all the difference and costs nothing. I recently had a miserable birthday and felt thoroughly sorry for myself, so I sympathise Roobi.

I’m a great believer in allowing myself to wallow for a bit, then pick myself up and start again. If no one else is going to make a fuss of us at special times then I think we’re allowed to feel a bit hard done by as long as that doesn’t take over.

I know we are all busy, and I am guilty of forgetting or being late with birthday cards and presents but really there’s no excuse for not making a quick phone call or text to show that you are thinking of the person.

Hope you feel better soon Roobi, why not treat yourself to something special for your birthday

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

We thought this because you said you had been ill and your post spoke about loneliness and being alone and having few friends.

I must say this post of yours does suggest why you had few friends to celebrate you 60th birthday.

What made you thing we had this superior insight into others lives?

Unfortunately or fortunately -
That’s the beauty of Gransnet Roobi and Magsymoo - lots of diverse opinions, some a bit blunt and others sympathetic.
I’m not a birthday person, and I’m glad to get the day over and done with, but I always remember friends/neighbours who have birthdays, many of whom really enjoy them.
Belated 🎂greetings from me and hope you’re feeling better.

What unkind comments on here this morning. The OP is sad and lonely, it doesn’t help for people on here to basically tell her she deserves it. It is hard to make friends in later life and a lot of older people’s lives revolve around family. If you haven’t got family and a partner and old friends are occupied with their own families it can be very lonely indeed. No doubt she will get over this and get on with her life but at the moment she is hurting and reaching out for some kindness. That’s not too hard, surely?

Curtaintwitcher spot on.

Soon I I'm sorry you have not been well and had a lonely birthday. It's not easy setting about making new friends I am not good at that myself. I hope you will find this forum a friendly place and it helps you to feel less alone. X

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

That response to sympathy might give a clue as to why your birthday was ignored.

Sorry to hear that Roobi. You say that none of your friends live close by. Do you remember their birthdays with cards, phone calls etc? (It works both ways), if you do then I’m sorry.

Sixty is young, do you work? Did any of your work colleagues know that you were celebrating a special birthday?

Happy belated birthday Roobi!
I would have felt like you.
It's at birthdays, mother's day, Christmas or even a sunny Sunday when the loneliness feels poignant.

We remember our missing friends, family and partners profoundly.

The pain does pass.
😞
I was going to suggest inviting someone out for a meal or a concert but if you aren't well that wouldn't work.

I've been invited to help a df celebrate her birthday next week.
Now I am wondering what to take her.

That’s hard for you Roobi. No one wants to feel lonely, especially on a special birthday. I’m thinking your friend might have genuinely forgotten on the actual day. With so many kid’s birthdays and family ones I sometimes do. Some of us don’t bother so much with birthdays as we get older. My mum used to start reminding us of her upcoming birthdays about a month beforehand. Maybe she was right ! Anyway, here’s a hug from a stranger for your 60 th (❤️)

Also, don’t understand the reference to YouTube?

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely and your ‘special’ birthday wasn’t marked in any way, but your friend did think of you and buy you both a card and a gift. There are a myriad reasons why they may have been late, but please focus on the fact that she cared enough to mark the event at all.

I have several very close women friends and for various reasons I have missed their birthdays occasionally and sent belated gifts/greetings afterwards. I’m fortunate that none of them have ever held a grudge or been disappointed with my tardiness - they understand that, much as I love them, I have other things going on in my life.

Maybe now is a good time to cultivate friendships with people who live local to you and with whom you could share social activities - that way next year’s birthday could be very different.
💐

sorry you've been under the weather, but projecting these expectations onto others isn't going to help you.
maybe you can develop wider interests, or even niche ones, rather than ruminating in a negative way.
there's so much to discover, be amused, or amazed by, without even leaving youtube !
i hope you will feel better.

not everyone has the same attitude to b'days.
many people ignore them once grown up.

Just to add, I’ve been ill for the last 18 months so wasn’t in a position to have a party or similar, much as I’d have liked to.