Friends?

Just to add, I’ve been ill for the last 18 months so wasn’t in a position to have a party or similar, much as I’d have liked to.

not everyone has the same attitude to b'days.
many people ignore them once grown up.

sorry you've been under the weather, but projecting these expectations onto others isn't going to help you.
maybe you can develop wider interests, or even niche ones, rather than ruminating in a negative way.
there's so much to discover, be amused, or amazed by, without even leaving youtube !
i hope you will feel better.

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely and your ‘special’ birthday wasn’t marked in any way, but your friend did think of you and buy you both a card and a gift. There are a myriad reasons why they may have been late, but please focus on the fact that she cared enough to mark the event at all.

I have several very close women friends and for various reasons I have missed their birthdays occasionally and sent belated gifts/greetings afterwards. I’m fortunate that none of them have ever held a grudge or been disappointed with my tardiness - they understand that, much as I love them, I have other things going on in my life.

Maybe now is a good time to cultivate friendships with people who live local to you and with whom you could share social activities - that way next year’s birthday could be very different.
💐

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

Also, don’t understand the reference to YouTube?

That’s hard for you Roobi. No one wants to feel lonely, especially on a special birthday. I’m thinking your friend might have genuinely forgotten on the actual day. With so many kid’s birthdays and family ones I sometimes do. Some of us don’t bother so much with birthdays as we get older. My mum used to start reminding us of her upcoming birthdays about a month beforehand. Maybe she was right ! Anyway, here’s a hug from a stranger for your 60 th (❤️)

Happy belated birthday Roobi!
I would have felt like you.
It's at birthdays, mother's day, Christmas or even a sunny Sunday when the loneliness feels poignant.

We remember our missing friends, family and partners profoundly.

The pain does pass.
😞
I was going to suggest inviting someone out for a meal or a concert but if you aren't well that wouldn't work.

I've been invited to help a df celebrate her birthday next week.
Now I am wondering what to take her.

Sorry to hear that Roobi. You say that none of your friends live close by. Do you remember their birthdays with cards, phone calls etc? (It works both ways), if you do then I’m sorry.

Sixty is young, do you work? Did any of your work colleagues know that you were celebrating a special birthday?

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

That response to sympathy might give a clue as to why your birthday was ignored.

Soon I I'm sorry you have not been well and had a lonely birthday. It's not easy setting about making new friends I am not good at that myself. I hope you will find this forum a friendly place and it helps you to feel less alone. X

Curtaintwitcher spot on.

What unkind comments on here this morning. The OP is sad and lonely, it doesn’t help for people on here to basically tell her she deserves it. It is hard to make friends in later life and a lot of older people’s lives revolve around family. If you haven’t got family and a partner and old friends are occupied with their own families it can be very lonely indeed. No doubt she will get over this and get on with her life but at the moment she is hurting and reaching out for some kindness. That’s not too hard, surely?

Unfortunately or fortunately -
That’s the beauty of Gransnet Roobi and Magsymoo - lots of diverse opinions, some a bit blunt and others sympathetic.
I’m not a birthday person, and I’m glad to get the day over and done with, but I always remember friends/neighbours who have birthdays, many of whom really enjoy them.
Belated 🎂greetings from me and hope you’re feeling better.

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

We thought this because you said you had been ill and your post spoke about loneliness and being alone and having few friends.

I must say this post of yours does suggest why you had few friends to celebrate you 60th birthday.

What made you thing we had this superior insight into others lives?

What a shame there aren’t more people like you in the world Magsymoo, a bit of kindness makes all the difference and costs nothing. I recently had a miserable birthday and felt thoroughly sorry for myself, so I sympathise Roobi.

I’m a great believer in allowing myself to wallow for a bit, then pick myself up and start again. If no one else is going to make a fuss of us at special times then I think we’re allowed to feel a bit hard done by as long as that doesn’t take over.

I know we are all busy, and I am guilty of forgetting or being late with birthday cards and presents but really there’s no excuse for not making a quick phone call or text to show that you are thinking of the person.

Hope you feel better soon Roobi, why not treat yourself to something special for your birthday

Very unkind comments from people who really should know better.

Why do you even bother to say such spiteful things!

Just because you aren't lonely lucky you or don't celebrate birthdays there are plenty who are and do.

I read that Roobi is reaching out for a little sympathy after a bloody awful special birthday passing unnoticed.

Belated Birthday Greetings Roobi! Unlike many others I too would be a little upset, I think your reaction is quite understandable.

But, nothing can be done about it now and good to get your feelings out. Time to move on with all the positive things you do have in your life.

I truly hope the next few months are more enjoyable than the last few

Roobi So sorry to hear you had a rubbish birthday, it does hurt. But it’s over now put it behind you and start a fresh.
Your only young get out and about as much as possible. Try and make new friends locally. Good luck

I m so sorry you had such a miserable birthday and can well understand how down you felt I would have too and I also think sending something late is not helpful either as the moment has gone maybe it wasn’t her fault in which case you would have expected a phone call on the day saying a present is in the post
however
You did say you had been unwell for 18 months so why did you then reprimand Welbeck and say you hadnt been under the weather at all ??
I think your loneliness and feelings of abandonment are really spoiling your later years and 60 is so blooming young
Get out there, make some new friends, do some stuff on your own talk to people, on the bus, in the shops, in queues I have made lovely friends just through vague conversations with strangers
Do stuff for yourself treat yourself to something a nice to do and try hard to increase your positivity in what about
I feel for you I really do but that’s not helpful so I encourage you to do more, love yourself a bit
Good luck

Well said Grammaretto

Do people actually want to be so unkind? What on earth do you get out of it? Why not just think your negative thoughts and move on, rather than kick someone when they’re down.

I too understand how you feel Roobi and I am sorry you feel so down. I too am shocked by the spiteful comments - totally unnecessary!

Ah Roobi, that must have felt awful, especially if you wouldn't behave in that way yourself. The best thing would be to imagine that perhaps she 'had something she was worried/distracted by' and simply forgot the date , move on and forgive her. More importantly- try and do nice things for yourself, best outfit on, into town ,lunch out, or look into joining a new group/hobby for a bit of a boost. Resentments have a way of growing so it's best bin 'em off!

After 18 months of being poorly you must have been at a low ebb and looking forward to your milestone birthday. For all but one of your friends to have forgotten has clearly upset you and I can understand that. Try not to dwell on it because you can't change what has happened. There are many reasons why people don't bother with birthday cards and gifts these days. I don't know much about your social life but you might be surprised at how much goes on in your community which might give you an interest and the opportunity to meet people. I go to several and they have helped me no end.