Should I remake my Will?

We made our first will shortly after our children were born and have updated it regularly. We set up powers of attorney in our 40s. DH did a lot of foreign travel someof it to remote places in dodgy airlines, so we made sure we were prepared for all eventualities.

My parents were equally sensible and it was actually my father who began the process of activating the POA, when what turned out to be his last illness, meant that he knew he might be too disabled to handle his own affairs.

We made our first wills very early in our married life. Later on in our marriage we ensured our three daughters had power of attorney, which is very important, especially now as my husband had a brain haemorrhage in 2006, which has trashed half his brain. He also has quite a lot of increasing health problems, I am his carer.

I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m definitely with the majority here - rewrite, but carve it up differently.

Since you won’t know how much money is left at your demise (you know approx what you now have to work with) cut way back on the percentages for both sets of nieces and nephews (or cut out his altogether), set an amount (or you could make it a percentage) for one or two of you favorite charities, perhaps leave something to long time, trusted friends?…. then spend it on yourself! And then don’t worry about it.

Go buy that winter coat, that handbag you’ve wanted, a newer model car, take a trip or cruise, hire a painter to spruce up a room or two.

Enjoy your husband’s hard earned money while you’re around, because you know - you can’t take it with you.

Why not leave his portion to charity , as he obviously wanted his half to go somewhere, or he would have said give it all to your nieces, nephews. Did they have contact with him? lots charities are very worthy and if you don’t feel they should get it, do something positive in his name, rather than out of annoyance of them not calling you for a chat. Do it in a positive way, as it obviously doesn’t feel completely right or you wouldn’t be questioning it. What a wonderful way to support a worthy cause that he can help even though he is no longer here .

I would enjoy feeling I had done some good and would leave it to charity rather than people who can't be bothered to keep in touch.

I would choose a small charity.

I agree with Honeyrose in respect of leaving a lesser amount to your H niece & nephew and the rest to yours and perhaps a little to charity too.

Why not think about leaving a token sum to your husband’s nieces and nephews, and the remainder to yours. Just a thought. Good luck

If your late husband's nephews and nieces never make contact with you and never kept in touch with your husband when he was alive then I see no reason to give them any share of your estate. I think giving half your estate to charities your husband supported would be a fitting tribute. My late husband was a great animal lover and the animal charities he supported are remembered in my will as I know this I what hw would have wanted. He had a god daughter and he was close to her even though she lived on the other side of the world, however her family are wealthy and a monetary bequest would make little difference to her life.

Skye17

Why don’t you leave, say, £5,000 each to your husband nephews and nieces, then the rest as you please? Maybe some to your nephews and nieces and the rest to charity?

That is what I was going to say.

Why don’t you leave, say, £5,000 each to your husband nephews and nieces, then the rest as you please? Maybe some to your nephews and nieces and the rest to charity?

Beckett

When we made our original Wills we discussed who should inherit when the last of us died. He had no strong feelings for his nephews and nieces , having had very little contact with them - just felt we had no-one else to leave everything to.

There to my mind is your answer.

In your place I would go ahead and remake my will, as it seems there is no prohibition against your doing so in the former will,

Either leave your estate entirely to your own relations, or leave a smaller amount to your husband's and the residue to your own relations.

Why should you leave anything to someone who couldn't care less about you? You can have a free will written via many charities now so you don't have to pay out a small fortune to change your will. We have changed our wills for much the same reason as you are thinking.

Why not leave your money to charity? I had a childless aunt and uncle, to whom I was very close and took responsibility for mu uncle's care after his wife died.

He and his wife decided to leave most of their estate to a charity they were closely linked with. My sister and I did receive a legacy from them, but small compared with the amount the charity received. I knew about this well in advance, but this had no effect on afefction for them.

You had to carry out the wishes contained in the will. If your brother wanted to change it he should have done so properly. You would have been very wrong to give the money to charity, and personally liable if the godchild found out what you had done.

my brother had left a will with a gift to his godchild. He verbally told me that he wanted to change that bequest but had not done it. all advice was that ( as executor) I needed to give the godchild that bequest . I did but to this day I regret it as there was not even a thankyou. I should have given the money to charity . I would go with your gut and give it to someone who will appreciate the money .

I would look at doing some really amazing activities or holidays for yourself, maybe treat friends too, whilst you're still alive and active.. and if there's any left leave it to your favourite charities..

You say that you re-made your will when your husband died. Did the original will, made by yourself and your late husband, include his nephews and nieces as well as yours. If it did then I would go along with your late husbands wishes and leave half to his family and half to yours.

My aunt made a new will when her husband died, leaving everything to her side of the family. My uncle had little contact with his cousins, so I don't think she did anything wrong. Perhaps leave some of DH's 'half' to a charity he may have supported.

Yep leave their share to the people that help you, friend, neighbor, or a charity.

From from you have said Beckett, I would tend to choose what you yourself would like.

In my opinion, if they don't stay in touch they won't even know you have died. So leave the money as you wish - your family, your chosen charities or whatever you like.

Scribbles

I think you should leave your assets to the people you care about - those nephews and nieces who have kept in touch.
I have never understood why simply being related by blood to someone, with whom you have little or no contact or closeness, should entitle you to their worldly goods when they die.
Your husband's relatives clearly didn't give a fig for him when he was alive so why should they benefit from his hard work and prosperity?
Leave your money where you feel it's deserved.

Couldn’t agree more! It’s your money now, do with it what you want!

I always find it odd and somewhat sad when people don’t know to whom to leave an inheritance and often leave it to relative(s) whom they hardly know or bother with just because they are relatives. Surely they must know someone, or a family, or local youngster(s) in training for whom an inheritance would be life- changing. A cleaner, or pensioner struggling to live on state pension. A single parent. The list is endless and would be fun to write - also maybe a small local charity run by volunteers ………

No you are not being petty. Why do we feel obliged to leave anything to people just because they are distant family, when we are gone.

You say that your DH worked hard for the money, yes he did but he could not have done it without you looking after his welfare. He also worked hard for his family, namely, you. So do not feel guilty about changing your will. The money is for your security and if there is any left after you have gone it will go to anyone or charity that you have chosen as it's your decision what happens to it. So change your will if you wish in the knowledge that your DH would approve of your choice.

While u are still alive spend and enjoy your money. I see lots of older people putting stuff off due to fear of spending. You can now suit yourself and if u wish leave small amounts to others you love or like in your will . Being related doesn’t matter if you’re never present