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Golden wedding gift?

(14 Posts)
paddyann54 Sun 30-Jun-24 21:39:17

Our friends of 45+ years have invited us to their celebration of 50 years married.They have said no gifts ,however I dont even visit a neighbour without taking a homemade cake or a wee candle and I would feel bad about going empty handed .What would you do
,I'm trying to think of something small they can take home with them to the foreign land they now live.I know baggage is an issue on aircraft now .Would you be offended if I turned up with something to remind them of the time we met or WHAT would you do .It goes against the grain to arrive with nothing

Cabbie21 Sun 30-Jun-24 21:56:47

If every guest were to take something, however small, they would not be able to get the gifts home.
What about a photo print of a special occasion in the past?
Or a gift to a charity you know they support?

flappergirl Sun 30-Jun-24 22:16:05

If they're flying home they really won't be terribly thrilled with presents, no matter how small. Could you possibly buy a voucher of some sort online that they could redeem in their own country? Or, as Cabbie suggests, donate to a charity they hold dear? Another thought, perhaps you or someone you know could write a poem or draw a picture inside a card that resonates with your long friendship?

Calendargirl Mon 01-Jul-24 06:52:32

If people say ‘no gifts’, I assume that’s what they mean. Why do you feel you have to do otherwise?

Awkward for the recipients, and also for other guests who have obeyed their request and not taken anything.

Give them a nice card, and write in it you have made a donation to ….charity as a token of your friendship.

Then donate.

David49 Mon 01-Jul-24 07:05:36

A card and a modest donation to charity is very acceptable.

NotSpaghetti Mon 01-Jul-24 07:37:42

Can you arrange for a local photographer to come? You may need to liaise with them or their family.
I don't know how much you want to spend- or how close you are. If not, maybe you could get the venue to take a photo of everyone and get it sent to them afterwards?

I paid £90 for 1½ hours photography recently. An hour would probably be less. We booked 1½hours so they had some "travel time".

Shelflife Mon 01-Jul-24 09:32:27

I think if they have said ' no gifts' then you should respect that. No gifts means exactly that - find a lovely card and that will say it all ! You have a generous nature but on this occasion I think you should take heed of their request. Enjoy the celebration?

Chardy Mon 01-Jul-24 09:59:32

Someone who'd been very good to me was going to live abroad. I gave her a very tiny china buddha (just over a cm high?)

Theexwife Mon 01-Jul-24 11:55:50

You are saying that your feelings are more important than theirs, they have said no gifts that means no gifts from anyone.

You are going to upset those that wanted to give something but abided by the instruction as well as the recipients.

Siope Mon 01-Jul-24 12:08:29

We married in the UK whilst living abroad, and requested no gifts. I cannot even begin to say how awkward and embarrassing (including for other guests) it when some people bought us things anyway.

Most of them went to the first charity shop we came across, as we had no space in our backpacks, or lives, for more stuff.

They will have good reasons for their choice, and, as others have said, your feelings or habits don’t trump theirs.

NotSpaghetti Mon 01-Jul-24 12:16:29

My mother-in-law said no gifts but was delighted with the few little ones.
She said she had only said it because half her party guests would have stayed overnight and she was mindful of the cost.
The treats went into the car at the end of her "event" and she opened them afterwards.

paddyann54 Mon 01-Jul-24 13:25:41

So no gifts it is then I find it an alien concept to go empty handed ,no ulterior motive it’s just how I am….was raised .Probably half the guests wil be ex professional photographers so we won’t be short of pictures.Thanks for the input I.ll send flowers once they go home .

B9exchange Mon 01-Jul-24 13:38:20

Interflora do plants as well as flowers to most countries, you could send a welcome home plant to arrive just after they get home?

Imarocker Mon 01-Jul-24 17:15:33

We said no presents and meant it. We set up a just giving page for the local hospice and we’re delighted that people gave to that. Buy a card and tell them where your money went.