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Would you tell someone they smelled

(86 Posts)
eazybee Fri 02-Aug-24 08:59:56

I think the frequent showering and new clothes indicate this person is aware and it might be easier to suggest a visit to the doctor to see if there is any infection causing the problem. How you broach it depends on your relationship with this person.
Many years ago I taught a small child who smelt of urine constantly despite being spotlessly clean with clean clothes every day. Some years later she had an operation for adenoids, and during surgery a small bead was discovered embedded in a nasal cavity which had festered during the years and caused the odour. Once removed, end of problem.

Marydoll Fri 02-Aug-24 08:54:06

Is your friend by any chance taking a particular medication, that can cause it?

I once had a pair of favourite shoes, which I hadn't realised, that in hot weather made my feet rather smelly.
I was going into classes round the school, when one colleague apologised for the smell in her class, mentioning a particular child. I realised it was my feet! blush

I said nothing, hurriedly rushed off and those shoes went straight into the bin, replaced by an old pair in my room! I was mortified.

pascal30 Fri 02-Aug-24 08:48:15

I did a longish journey with someone recently in her car. Her breath smelled horrible and I kept opening the window which she subsequently closed.. I didn't tell her but haven't been in her car since.. it's really difficult to talk about someone smelling and I'm not sure why.. we would defend ourselves if someone said something unpleasant and yet not when we find smell equally offensive..

Anniebach Fri 02-Aug-24 08:42:27

Is she breaking the law?

Kandinsky Fri 02-Aug-24 08:38:59

I worked with someone years ago who washed once a week ( by the smell of her ) she was only in her 20’s and was known as ‘smelly Margaret’ - no one ever said anything.

Casdon Fri 02-Aug-24 08:22:29

The kindest way I’ve seen this dealt with was that many years ago, my boss put a kind note in the coat pocket of one of the staff, so she could be made aware without the embarrassment of being told face to face. Nothing was ever said, but it worked.

Georgesgran Fri 02-Aug-24 08:12:41

I like BlueBelle’s suggestion or you could say ‘there’s an awful smell here, is it me?’ as a kind of joke. Not that it’s a laughing matter, especially if she is having continence problems.
Are you ever in a situation where you could say you are off to Boots for some Tena stuff for yourself and hope that breaks the ice?
It’s BO that gets me - not fresh sweat, but the stale, pungent odour that seems to stick in the throat long after the culprit has gone.

nandad Fri 02-Aug-24 08:12:12

I suffer from an overactive bladder and wear pads all the time. I also don’t have a sense of smell. There are times when small leaks that are captured in the pad will smell strongly. I don’t know when this happens but I would appreciate if someone close to me told me. It’s a common nightmare for me that my house smells and I ask my closest friends when they visit.

How about making up a story along the lines of having to wear pads yourself and worrying they may make you smell and see what her reaction might be and take it from there?

Gingster Fri 02-Aug-24 08:03:00

I’m afraid I couldn’t say anything. I’d be too embarrassed and she would be too.

Does she have family who you could go to for advice?

BlueBelle Fri 02-Aug-24 07:55:46

Blimey this is a hard one I don’t think I could do it, but on the other hand I can’t bear being near someone who smells of urine Theres a lady sometimes gets on the bus and I dread it as I really can’t stand the smell it makes me feel sick and I m not particular sensitive
Well this post of mine has been no use at all as I just don’t know how I would deal with it. they won’t take it well if you do tell them will they ?
If your out and about with them where others are it won’t work but if you’re alone with him /her or in a secluded area you could say, there’s a strong smell of urine can you smell it ? Could that be enough to make them think? the problem is I don’t think you smell it on yourself

Allsorts Fri 02-Aug-24 07:06:05

Someone I care about but is very prickly, despite her constant new outfits and showers smells of urine. Its made me not want to see her. How to I tell she as she will just go on the defence, but if I don't who will?