family preparing a big party

I’m another who wouldn’t want a surprise party where I’m the centre of attention. We have our Ruby Wedding in May and my 70th in December and we intend being away for both…and yes, all family and friends are aware!

It's so nice when your loved ones try to make the holiday special. Do you already know what they have planned? Will it be a classic house party or something unusual? In any case, I'm sure the emotions will be unforgettable!

Sarahr
😱

I'm glad you know about the plan for a party.
Nothing worse than being dragged out of bed, in need of a hair wash, putting on your gardening clothes as first at hand, then being driven to a venue, to your worst nightmare of lots of people in a small room, all dressed nicely, singing "happy birthday". Especially as you had given strict instructions to never spring a surprise as you don't like and can't cope with surprises. Even more especially that several of the guests had also said the same to the party arranger. Needless to say, he was very soon after the ex.
That said, as you know about it, can you help organise it so that you can enjoy the occasion. You never know, they might club together to give you a little holiday as a gift.

Ditto...tell them that's not what you would enjoy..... appreciate the jesture but let them know

I would hate a big party arranged for me but my girls know that. I have a big birthday next year and DH and I plan a city break away and a meal with the family in a nice restaurant. I will also plan a meal with close friends.

Tell them. I hate any fuss, and my family know that. We always have a family gathering with food, for birthdays.

BigBopper - presumably your loved ones know you are a party person and will act accordingly.
That is excellent- I hope you have the opportunity to celebrate in the way you are happiest.

In response to your remark -
I feel sorry for people who must endure something they find unpleasant because someone else would like it.

When I want to do something special for the people I love I check it's what they would enjoy and I don't give them MissAdventure's spiders and snakes for example!
I'm fortunate that my family is loving and caring - in spite of the fact that we annoy each other now and again!
I do know how lucky I am.

Bingbangboom is concerned that her family are doing something (a party) that she won't enjoy - she would rather do something else.
I think at least some of us understand that this isn't something that appeals to everyone.

I hope you find something that works for you as well as your family, Bingbangboom.
💐

Thank goodness I am one who loves a good party whether it's a surprise or organised. Play some great music and let me rock around the clock. At 81 years of age I don't have many left.

It's the equivalent of buying someone a rare, expensive pet rat/spider/snake, I think.
For a birthday surprise to work, the recipient has to actually like what's on offer.

Some people do not like parties.

NotSpaghetti

I would say so ASAP.

My children organised a big party for a significant wedding anniversary and I was really cross and upset.

I didn't know till a few days before when I became suspicious.

Why do they do this?

Because they're trying to be nice!

I'd like to assume that my preferences would be respected in whatever my family decided for me.

NotSpaghetti

^Why would you be cross and upset?^

Why would you enjoy it?
We are all different!

Why wouldn't I enjoy it. I feel sorry for people who have no sense of appreciation of what their family wants to do for them. It is like kicking kindness back in their faces.

Bingbangboom - there’s plenty of time. Why don’t you tell them you’d rather just go with the family to an ‘interesting place’ (so many to choose from). It will probably be more expensive than a party, but perhaps you could could contribute to it. Good luck !

Exactly as Tuaim says!

My AC both know that I would not like a big party under any circumstances - anniversaries and birthdays have been enjoyed with AC and GC over the years. We all agree that the extra expense involved in a big party is better donated to charity.

I can't think of many things I'd enjoy less than a big party, with me as the "star" of it.

I like to slob around in my slippers, eat cheese sarnies, and watch gogglebox.

Why would you be cross and upset?

Why would you enjoy it?
We are all different!

Why would you be cross and upset, our children bought us tickets on the Orient Express for our Ruby wedding and we were over the moon. For my 60th birthday they bought us a holiday in Barcelona, and for my husband's 60th, they bought him a brand new Dell Desktop system.

I am grateful for everything they did and still do for me even though their dad is no longer alive and there is no way I would have been cross with them, we were over the moon. Even if they organised for me to do a parachute jump, I would be there with bells on.

I would love someone to arrange a big party for me I am usually the one who does it for everyone else even the dogs

NotAGran55

You need to speak up Bingbangboom before it’s too late.

Let us know how you get on, and what you decide to do instead.

Absolutely!

Ha ha, MissAdventure.
I was so angry with my 5

It was too late to cancel so I did go to it... mainly for my husband's sake (who is more generous than I am - though he didn't want it either.)
My husband was more forgiving of our children too - and we were both aware of the fact that people we like were kindly travelling some distance to celebrate with us.

But I do know they would absolutely never do it again!

Why they thought it a good idea still defeats me!
One said, "we thought you'd like it once you were there" 🙄
I know they were "egged on" by friends - theirs and ours - who all thought it would be fabulous!

I have just booked a local venue for my 80th next year! The AC know about it and will help with decorations etc. but it's our responsibility.

You need to tell them before things get ut of hand.

Although it’s your birthday, your family clearly want to celebrate the event with you.

Why not do both? Let them give you a party and enjoy your day with you and then go away with your DH? X