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Your Opinion Please — Scars on Show - Changing Room

(121 Posts)
Kateykrunch Mon 02-Sept-24 12:11:16

I just want to garner some opinion please.
I have had a double mastectomy (4 years apart) and have a full scar running across the whole of my chest. I consider the scar to be ugly (it is). I am trying to build up my fitness and have started swimming regularly (12 lengths today). The private changing cubicles are tiny, so today when I was getting dressed I discreetly turned away to put my top on BUT although it wasnt very busy the Lady nearby would have seen my flat scared chest. It really would be easier for me not to have to juggle my towel for the fleeting time it takes to dress my top half but I dont want to freak anyone out, so… My question to you please, is would this sight upset you. Opinions will colour my decision moving forward and I could try to shoehorn myself into a cubicle if I am likely to frighten the horses. Thanks to anyone who is happy to give me an opinion on this sensitive subject (I apologise if anyone is offended my my light hearted approach, but….)

Oreo Mon 02-Sept-24 20:45:43

The first time I saw a double mas I was shocked I admit, and as you honestly say OP it’s not a pretty sight.
That said, if it doesn’t upset you to see anyone looking at you, then just get on and dry and dress out in the open.It may frighten a child tho?

Jackiest Mon 02-Sept-24 20:37:26

It would not upset me in the slightest. And if it does upset someone then that is their problem not yours.

LauraNorderr Mon 02-Sept-24 20:31:57

On the contrary kateykrunch, I’d feel very proud of you.
My daughter in law had a mastectomy four years ago. She refused reconstructive surgery and wears her scars with pride as a survivor and an inspiration to all women. Just like you.

absent Mon 02-Sept-24 20:17:57

Many years ago I was in a communal changing room trying on a number of dresses. I have had three major emergency surgeries and my abdomen bears a resemblance to the London tube map. A younger woman looked hard at the mass of scars and asked, "Are those scars real?" Seriously?

Kittycat Mon 02-Sept-24 18:23:34

If other people don’t like it they don’t have to look! If it was a scar from open heart surgery it would be the other way but still something to be proud of! x

Redhead56 Mon 02-Sept-24 18:22:27

My three goods friends had mastectomy just one is embarrassed about her scars.
It most certainly would not bother me seeing a woman's scars. You have been through a lot be very proud of yourself.

charley68 Mon 02-Sept-24 18:14:02

All power 'to' you, not 'too'. Doh

charley68 Mon 02-Sept-24 18:13:14

All power too you. Your scars would not offend me.

I have had surgery twice, for bowel cancer in the last two years. I have 4 medium sized scars on my belly, and three small ones (where the camera was inserted). The scars were very unsightly, red and vivid for a long time. I use Bio Oil all the time, after shower/bath, and I feel that it has helped enormously, and they look so much better. Superdrug have their own brand of it too, and I have used both.

I would encourage you to use this or similar if you feel that your scars are troubling you, and if not, the regular application of the oil will help you see you skin and scars more kindly.

I apologise if this is unwanted advice/unnecessary intrusion.

biglouis Mon 02-Sept-24 16:47:41

I wouldnt be looking at other people in a changing room and would hope they would show me the same courtesy.

Kateykrunch Mon 02-Sept-24 16:42:01

Gosh, some lovely comments, thank you, I really appreciate them.

Sparklefizz Mon 02-Sept-24 16:39:22

kateykrunch Your scar is your badge of courage. You've survived hard times. Hold your head high.
Sending you a hug. x

Cossy Mon 02-Sept-24 15:45:41

Oh no, of course it wouldn’t upset me, other than feeling sad you e had to go through this!

JamesandJon33 Mon 02-Sept-24 15:43:58

It wouldn’t concern me one bit. I think you are a very brave lady 💐

Parsley3 Mon 02-Sept-24 15:37:08

It wouldn't upset me either. Let the cancer research advert of the tattoed mastectomy scar be your touchstone. Many people have seen it and now know what a woman looks like post op.

Septimia Mon 02-Sept-24 15:36:17

A retired surgeon friend of mine had a mastectomy. Because she was determined to have a shower during treatment she partly washed off the marks that showed where the radio therapy needed to be directed.

So she came to me, with a felt pen, and had me draw them on again! The point is, I could see her scar and I thought to myself "I could live with that" - "live" being the important sentiment.

BlueBelle Mon 02-Sept-24 15:26:38

Where we get changed on the beach there’s all shapes and sizes sometimes towels drop or bottoms or boobs pop out who cares we ve all got bodies what ever shape or size.
In a communal changing room I always admire the women who just step out of their cosies with not a worry I always tuck a towel round me but not sure why 🤣

Indigo8 Mon 02-Sept-24 15:17:33

On the beaches in the South of France women who have has mastectomies sunbathe topless quite openly. It didn't bother me, why would it? It did not appear to bother anybody else either.
I was mildly perturbed by the number of badly done breast enlargements that looked like beach balls but I can't say I lost sleep over them.

Luckygirl3 Mon 02-Sept-24 15:15:07

I hope you can relax now you have read all these responses, which I absolutely endorse.

I know when my sister had her first mastectomy she told the surgeon it looked like a Cornish pasty - she has always found humour to be helpful in a sticky situation!

Vito Mon 02-Sept-24 15:07:53

No it wouldn't worry me in the slightest. 😊

Allira Mon 02-Sept-24 14:57:33

Kateykrunch I know exactly how you feel, but no it would not upset me in the slightest.
However, for the same reason I dislike communal changing rooms. We used to have a lovely little swimming pool not far away which was part of a retreat, the public was allowed there and there were changing cubicles there but it closed down, unfortunately.

Have you seen the advert where the woman has had a tattoo across her mastectomy scar? I don't think I'd be that brave!

V3ra Mon 02-Sept-24 14:27:41

Adults Hooded 100% Cotton... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LB7LOV4?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share&tag=gransnetforum-21

I've just bought one of these for changing on the beach.
It's got deep arm holes so that you can get both your arms inside to get dressed with privacy.
Might make you feel less conspicuous?
For reference I'm a size 12 and I've had the L/XL. Nice and roomy!

My Mum had a single mastectomy and it was years before I saw her scar. She thought it was ugly but I was impressed with how neat it was, and told her.
Be proud of your body and what you've been through to still be here, and carry on swimming!

Wheniwasyourage Mon 02-Sept-24 14:13:16

Another vote for you to go for it, Kateykrunch. The changing room at our pool is village-style, so everyone uses the cubicles and swimwear must be worn in the shower. On the few occasions when I have been in a communal changing room with no cubicles, the impression I had was that nobody stared at anyone else. As others have said, if someone is upset by seeing your scar, it's their problem and certainly not yours. You will probably never know how many women you have encouraged not to worry about or be ashamed of their bodies. Enjoy your swimming! 🏊‍♀️ 🤿

Kateykrunch Mon 02-Sept-24 13:50:53

Thankyou everyone for your very positive comments, it really has helped me.

M0nica Mon 02-Sept-24 13:48:58

The problem is other people's, not yours. Do what makes you feel comfortaable.

DD has a very ugly scar on her right fore arm. It is now only 9inches x 6 inches, but was larger. She has always refused to hide it, saying it is what it is. She is also a swimmer and goes wild swimming as well, so frequently wears swimming costumes. She also wears short sleeved and sleeveless tops.

Nobody flinches when they see it. Sometimes people ask what caused it, but that is all.

MissInterpreted Mon 02-Sept-24 13:46:36

Maybe I'm odd I don't know but privacy is privacy. I wouldn't go swimming anywhere this wasn't an option.
No, nothing odd about it. I'm with you on that. I wouldn't go somewhere that didn't have private changing cubicles.