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How do we help our 8 year old granddaughter gain confidence?

(30 Posts)
MissAdventure Tue 29-Oct-24 12:27:13

What does she do at brownies?
Does she join in with the other children?
I'm presuming so, plus she does ballet and has been on stage.

Does she have a best friend, or group of friends?

pinkym Tue 29-Oct-24 12:25:08

silverlining48

Your gd sounds lovely Pinkym. It’s upsetting when you think a child might be unhappy.
Is everything ok at school? Girls as young as 8 can be a bit unkind sometimes which is very hurtful .
I know she has lots of out of school activities which is good but wonder if there might be a drama group in the area. That may help with confidence.
Otherwise let her know she is loved 🥰 which she clearly is.
All the best. I do understand.

She has one "best" friend, who blows hot and cold, and can be quite mean and refuse to talk to Olivia or play with her. In the lead up to half term, Olivia spent every playtime on her own. There are 3 other little girls in the group but two of them are extremely close because they're families are close. The third is bossy and Olivia isn't keen on playing with her. She just seems to want to play with the "bestie". Mum has been arranging play-dates with other children to try to open up her friendship group. She is so loved (as are all the grandchildren) it upsets all of us when she's hurting.

Dee1012 Tue 29-Oct-24 12:14:23

My first thought too was about school or her classmates?

I was very shy as a child and would never have attended dance classes / Brownies etc.
I appreciate everyone is different but it could be the situation rather than the child - if that makes sense?

If she enjoys a physical challenge...how about self defence classes, a friends two grandchildren attend Judo classes and really enjoy those.
Another option is horse riding (finances permitting).

silverlining48 Tue 29-Oct-24 12:04:06

Your gd sounds lovely Pinkym. It’s upsetting when you think a child might be unhappy.
Is everything ok at school? Girls as young as 8 can be a bit unkind sometimes which is very hurtful .
I know she has lots of out of school activities which is good but wonder if there might be a drama group in the area. That may help with confidence.
Otherwise let her know she is loved 🥰 which she clearly is.
All the best. I do understand.

pinkym Tue 29-Oct-24 11:43:29

Our granddaughter is a bright, funny, intelligent and extremely pretty little girl, but is very shy - which would be fine but for the fact it really bothers her. My son and daughter-in-law are real kind, caring and fun parents, they have two little girls, the youngest being 2 1/2, who is extremely outgoing and confident. At home Olivia is loud, funny, irreverent, confident but even with all of us grandparents, she can be very shy, not so much with me for some reason. Despite being shy, she goes to Brownies and also to a tap and ballet class, doing a stage show with them a couple of months ago - something I or her parents have said we couldn't do. It's when she's with her classmates it seems to affect her the most, and she said very sadly the other day that her baby sister is confident and she's shy. I was painfully shy as a child and well into adulthood, I'm 71 now and still shy in certain circumstances, so understand the pain and the longing to be outgoing with friends and family. She has improved a huge amount since starting school but there is still that reticence, even within the extended family. We so want to help her come out of that shell before she has to go to secondary school. My son always says it breaks his heart that she can't show her true, lovely personality to the outside world. Does anyone have any thoughts on games perhaps that we might play or any other way of helping her without her realising what we're doing and why. She's very good at pushing herself physically, for example, will always climb to the top of the highest climbing frame, you'll hear her whisper "I can do this" to herself., but just can't seem to push herself socially. Sorry for the long post.